英语幽默演讲3分钟

A young man and an old man were waiting for a bus at a station. They sat next to each other.“What's that in your bag?”asked the young man, pointing to a big bag beside the old man.“Gold, nothing but gold,”answered the old man.The young man could hardly believe his own ears,“What?”he said to himself in surprise.“So much gold? My God! How I wish to be able to get so much gold!”Then he began to think about how to get the gold.The old man looked tired and sleepy and it seemed that he could hardly keep his eyes open.“Are you sleepy, sir?”asked the young man.“Then you'd better lie down on the chair and have a good rest. Don't worry about the bus. I'll wake you up in time.”“All right. It's very kind of you, young man.”The old man lay down and before long he fell asleep.The young man took the big bag gently. But when he was about to run away, he found a corner of his fur coat was under the old man's body. Several times he tried to pull it out, but he couldn't. At last he took off his coat and went away with the bag.The young man ran out of the station as quickly as his legs could carry him. When he reached a place where he thought the old man couldn't find him, he stopped and quickly opened the bag.To his surprise, there was nothing but a lot of small stones in it. He hurried to the station at once. But when he got there, he found the old man was gone.

一One morning a fox saw a cock.He thought,"This is my breakfast.'' He came up to the cock and said,"I know you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The cock was glad.He closes his eyes and began to sing.The fox saw that and caught him in his mouth and carried him away. The people in the field saw the fox.They cried,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.'' The cock said to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.'' The fox opened his mouth and said,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock ran away from the fox and fled into the tree. 一天早上,一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡.他想：这是我的早餐. 他朝公鸡走来,对他说：“我知道,你能唱得非常好听,你能唱给我听么?”公鸡很高兴.他闭上眼睛开始唱歌.狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了. 在田地里的人们看到了狐狸.大喊大叫：“看,看!狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了.”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生,你能理解么?人们认为你叼走了公鸡.告诉他们这是你的,不是他们的.” 狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的,不是你们的.”就在那时,公鸡逃离了狐狸的嘴巴,跑到了树底下.二Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city." The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid. After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid." 从前,有两只老鼠,它们是好朋友.一只老鼠居住在乡村,另一只住在城里.很多年以后,乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠,它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看.”于是,城里老鼠就去了.乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里.它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠.城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃,你的家也不好,你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢?你应该搬到城里去住,你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子,还会吃上美味佳肴,你应该到我城里的家看看.” 乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去.房子十分漂亮,好吃的东西也为他们摆好了.可是正当他们要开始吃的时候,听见很大的一阵响声,城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑!快跑!猫来了!”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来. 过了一会儿,他们出来了.当他们出来时,乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里,我喜欢住在田野我的洞里.因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在,比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说,要好些.”三Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. "What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief. "Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?" 伟大的猎手Jonesie 有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼.于是,村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽. 猎手躺着等了几个晚上,但狮子一直没有出现.最后,他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他.把羊皮披在身上后,猎人到草原上去等狮子. 半夜,村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒.他们小心地靠近后,看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟.没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹. “Jonesie,怎么了?狮子在哪?”村长问. “哪有狮子!”猎人怒吼道,“哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?” 四Weather Predict A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm. "This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?" The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken." 天气预报 一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了. 一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴. "印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气. 几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了. 最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?" 印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了." 六A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river." He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【译文】 一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去,当他沿着路走时,在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果,他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果,因为富人会给我更多的食物,他会给我很好吃的东西.”然后他拿起苹果,一把扔到土里去. 他继续走,来到河边,河涨水了,因此,他到不了河对岸,他等了一会儿,然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了,因为我不能渡过河.” 他开始回家,那天他没有吃东西.他就开始去找吃的,他找到苹果,很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了. 不要把好东西扔掉,换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处.

有趣的三分钟英语演讲带翻译如下：

The East and the West, Let’s enjoy the combination of the two cultures? Kipling said:“East is east, and west is west, and never the twain shall meet!” But now, a century later, they have met.

They have met in business. They have met in education. They have met in the arts. Some people will argue that these meetings will leave us with a choice between east and west, but I believe that the best future lies in the creative combination of both worlds.

We can make western ideas, customs and technology our own, and adapt them to our own use. We can enjoy the best of both worlds, because our tradition is, above all, one of selecting the best and making it our own.

I love Beijing and Hennan opera because it always reminds me of who I am. But I am also a fan of pop music, especially English songs. So I have combined eastern melody with western language. It is called western henna opera.

When two cultures meet, there may be things in one culture, which do not fit into the tradition of the other. When this happens, we need to learn to understand and respect the customs of another culture. Then there are certain things some people may not like. To this, I will say, if you do not like it, please try to tolerate it.

To learn to tolerate what you personally don’t like is a great virtue at a time when different cultures mix and merge. Before us, there are two rivers, eastern and western cultures. At present, they may run in different courses. But eventually, they will converge into the vast sea of human culture.

Right now, I can see peoples of eastern and western cultures, standing side by side, singing the Olympic theme song: we are hand in hand, heart to heart, together we will shape a beautiful tomorrow! Thank you!

让我们共同感受东西方的融合

吉卜林说过:东方是东方，西方是西方，二者永不相聚。但是一个世纪后的今天，东西方相汇了! 它们相聚在经济领域，它们相聚在教育领域，它们相聚在艺术的殿堂。有人争论说:这种融合需要我们在东方和西方之间做出选择，但我却坚信最美好的未来在于东方和

西方创造性的融合。我们可以将西方的思想，观念和技术变为我们自己所用的东西。 我喜爱京剧和河南豫剧，因为它们经常使我想起自己是谁。但我也热衷于流行音乐，特别是英文歌曲。于是我将东方的旋律和西方的语言结合到了一起，它叫做西方版的河南豫剧。

当两种文化相结合的时候，也许一方的文化中的某些东西不适应另一方的传统文化。当此种情况出现时，我们需要试着理解并接受另一种文化中的风俗习惯。然而，也许有些东西你并不喜欢，对于此，我可以说，如果你不喜欢它，请试着去容忍它。当两种文化融合的时候，试着去容忍你个人不喜欢的东西是一种美德。

在我们面前有两条河流，东方文化和西方文化。现在，它们也许正朝着不同的方向流去。但是最终它们将汇合到人类文化的海洋里。就在此时此刻，我看见东方和西方的人肩并肩的站在一起，高唱奥林匹克主题曲:我们手拉手，心靠着心，共同创造美好的明天!

您好！There is a poor man. He has an orange tree. On the tree there are many fine oranges. One of them is very, very big. It is as big as a football. Nobody sees so big an orange. The poor man is very pleased. He takes it to the king. The king is so pleased that he gives the man a lot o money for it.When a rich man hears of it, he says to himself, “It’s only an orange. Why does the king give so much money for it? I’ll take my gold cup to the king. He’ll give me more money.”The next day when the king receives the gold cup, he says to the rich man, “What a beautiful cup! I’ll show you something wonderful. Please take this great orange.”有一个可怜的人。他有一棵橘子树。树上有许多精致的橙子。其中一个非常非常大。它和足球一样大。没人看见这么大的桔子。这个可怜的人非常高兴。他把它带给国王。国王非常高兴，为此他给了那个人很多钱。当一个有钱人听到这件事时，他对自己说：“这只是一个桔子。”。为什么国王给了这么多钱？我要拿我的金杯给国王。他会给我更多的钱。”第二天国王收到金杯时，他对富人说：“多漂亮的杯子啊！”！我给你看一些精彩的东西。请拿这个大橘子。”希望帮到您！

There is a poor man. He has an orange tree. On the tree there are many fine oranges. One of them is very, very big. It is as big as a football. Nobody sees so big an orange. The poor man is very pleased. He takes it to the king. The king is so pleased that he gives the man a lot o money for it.When a rich man hears of it, he says to himself, “It’s only an orange. Why does the king give so much money for it? I’ll take my gold cup to the king. He’ll give me more money.”The next day when the king receives the gold cup, he says to the rich man, “What a beautiful cup! I’ll show you something wonderful. Please take this great orange.”

(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……帮你在网上找的，希望你好运！still remember the Tatinic,though it's a big ship but it still sunk,so ,in my opinion ,the best ship is the friendship. Everyone needs friends baceuse there are a lot of things that you can't deal with ypourself,and the friends judt make up for it. friendship just likes the sun ,it can make you fell warm though in the cold winter,friendship just likes the water in the desert ,it can make you fell that in the world ,there still has hope .in a word ,the friendship is the same meaning as the greatness ,selfness and devotion. To make friends ,adding a friend equals addng a way ,open your heart ,devote yoursef,let friendship make your world colourful,