念念花语
A: oh, it's you, B, what's going on these days? B: well, not bad. It's a beautiful day, isn't it? A: Yes, it is. That's why I am here to enjoy the work by the famous artist. B: So am I. Do you find anything really worth for appreciation? A: Well, I just found a painting. it's really interesting but I can’t recognize who drew it. It is brushed simply but I think it expresses something. B: Really? Please show me, I think I can tell you whose work it is. A: This way please The two men stopped in front of a painting. A: Look, this is what I told you. B: Hmmm, it is a house; the light is on and no dark inside. there is a flower in the vase which is in different colors. The flower is on the desk near the window. Look, the sun is in the sky with some sunshine around it. It is an abstract work, even without frame. but I believe it is meaningful. A: yeah, I agree with you. I guess it is drawn by a famous artiest like Picasso, he likes to draw something simple but meaningful. B: It is a precious painting. I believe it. C came at that moment. C: excuse me, I am the manager here and I need to take the painting down now. A: Wait a minute, please tell us who drew it. We all believe it is from a famous artist but we just cant know the name. B: yes, please tell us. C: A famous artist?? Are you kidding me? This is drawn by my grandson; he is very naughty and hung his art class homework on this wall! A&B: What!?这是我根据以前的高中课本里的一篇文章改编的。我们学校的教师在教师基本功大比武时，自编自演的，当时很成功的。不过，原来的脚本已经找不到了，我通过自己的回忆大体把它呈现出来了，这个短剧场景可以自己按情况更改，人可多可少，最好幽默一点的同学表演。 Napolan and his soldiers（拿破仑这个单词我记不清楚了） 众士兵排列整齐的上。 M: Attention.（立正） Turn right/left. Quick time, march!（齐步走） (吹哨) Halt!(立定) Turn right/left. At ease!(稍息).Dismiss!(解散) （在宿舍里） Ss: Cheer!(干杯) （班长带着一新士兵推门进来） M: Hello!Everyone! This is Sam. He is Swede. Today he join us. Let's give him a warm welcome! Ss: Welcome! Welcome! (握手、拍肩 和他打招呼，但是他摇摇头) M: He doesn't know French at all. Ss: What a pity! 有一天，一个士兵慌慌张张的跑了过来。 A. Monitor! Monitor! M: What's the matter with you? A: I hear Napolan will be here in a month. M: What shall we do? B. I hear N often asks three quenstions. and often in an order. The first one is "How old are you?". The second one is "How long have you been in the Amry?". The third one is "Did you join any of my two compaigns?" M: All of us have no problem except Sam. He doesn't know French. What shall we do? B. I have an idea. From now on all of us teach him the three questions at any time. Ss: Good! 各种场合： 睡觉: A: Sam. How old are you? Sam:21.sir! A: How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 3 years sir! A: Did you join any of my two compaigns? Sam: Both.sir! 吃饭:B:Sam. How old are you? Sam:21.sir! B: How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 3 years sir! B: Did you join any of my two compaigns? Sam: Both.sir! 跑步：C:Sam. How old are you? Sam:21.sir! C: How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 3 years sir! C: Did you join any of my two compaigns? Sam: Both.sir! ..... Ss: We believe that's no problem at all. A:(慌慌张张的) N is coming. N is coming. (众士兵立正) N: Hello! Everyone. How are you? Ss: Fine. Thank you!sir! Sam 在哆嗦，引起了拿破仑的注意。 N: （走到他的面前）Well. How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 21 . sir. N: (非常吃惊的) How old are you? Sam: (非常自信的) 3 .sir. N: (生气的) Either you or I am mad!!!! Sam:(洋洋得意的)Both. sir!!! Ss: My god!!! 众士兵失望的下场了。 The hare and the tortoise One morning, a hare and a tortois meet in a forest,so they begin to talk. H: Good morning. Mr Tortoise. T: Oh, it's you. Mr Hare. Good morning! H: What are you doing? T: I'm running. H:Running? Ha ha ha! Can you run? Your legs are too short! T: Of course I can. H:My legs are long. I can run faster than you. T: Don't be so sure. H:Well then. Let's run to the tall tree over there. Let's see who can get there first. T: All right. Ready? Go! A. Mr Tortoise goes very slowly. But Mr Hare runs very fast. Soon he comes to a small tree. H: Where is Mr Tortoise? Aha! There he is!He is far behind me. How slow he is! Mmm. it's so hot! Here is a tree. I'll have a short sleep first. T: Oh, he is sleeping under the tree there. But I can't stop. I must go on. H: Ah! What a nice sleep! Let me go on. Oh, where 's Mr Tortoise? Where is he now? I must hurry. A: Soon he runs to the tall tree. Mr Tortoise is sitting under the tree and waiting for him. T:Hi, Mr Hare! How are you? I'm here first. Who is faster, Mr Hare ,you or me? H: Oh!..... A: After a long time. Mr Hare and Mr Tortoise meet again. What will they do? Please look carefully. H: Hello!Mr Tortoise. Let's have a match again, OK? T: Oh. all right. H: Let's see who is faster this time. T: OK! One, two . Go! H: This time I can't sleep ,I must be the first. T: This time I must be the winner. Mr Hare isn't faster than me. No matter! A: This time Mr Hare runs very fast. But Mr Tortoise is very slow. H: Hooray! I am the winner! T: I can't believe that! (crying) A few months later. In the forest animals are all together. They are talking about the match of Mr Hare and Mr Tortoise. M:The first time ,Mr Tortoise is the winner. D: The second time , Mr Hare is the winner. M: But We don't know who is really the winner. So they must have another match. P: I agree with you. A: All the animals want them to have another match.So a new match begins between them. H: I try my best to be the winner. T: I must be careful. I can't be far behind him. M: Ready ? Go!!! H: I am faster than him. (worried) How can I cross the river? Mr Tortoise is near me. How can I do? How can I do? T: What's the matter? Mr Hare? Oh ! You can't cross the river. No matter , you can cross the river on my back. Come here! Let's go across the river together. H: (exciting) Thank you very much! Thank you!!! T: (smiling) Not at all! We must help each other. A: They go across the river safely. They go on running. T: Oh ! my leg. Something is wrong with my leg. What can I do? H: Where is Mr Tortoise? There must be something wrong with him. Let me have a look. What's wrong with you? T: Something is wrong with my leg. I can't run any longer. H: Don't worry. You can get the forest on my back. T: No. You just go on running. Don't worry about me. H: Let's help each other. (They go on running together slowly) M: Look! everyone! How strange they are! A: When they know the matter.they all say: The winners are Mr Tortoise and Mr Hare!! They sing a happy song! So much for the play!
老李重庆
三人英语搞笑话剧剧本
话剧指以对话为主的戏剧形式。下面是我为你带来的三人英语搞笑话剧剧本 ，欢迎阅读。
3人短剧，简单有趣，每人不超过10句话，并且都是很简单的话，经理只有一句词，但是还比较有水平。由一个笑话改编。
最后结果出人意料，其实是服务生误解了顾客。
C,the customer.
W,the waiter.
M,the manager.
In the restaurant.
W:What can I do for you,sir?
C:Beijing Roast Duck,Tomato and Egg Soup.That's all.
W:A moment.
W:Yours,sir.
C:Thank you.
C:Waiter.
W:Yes?Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:I'm sorry.Sir.I'll change it for you.
W:Here your soup.Sir.
C:Thank you.
C:waiter!
W:Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:Er.I'm terribly sorry.I change it in a second.
C:Sir.I'm sorry for the soup.Now is the soup.
W:OK.
C:Waiter!!
W:Sir?
C:Call your manager,please.
M:I'm sorry,sir,but what's wrong with the soup?
C:How can I have the soup without a SPOON?
人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒
J：沙僧
B：白骨精（何平） B1：B变成的`村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
J: boss, brother Monkey is.......
T: Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: （惊）You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
(谢幕)
吃吃吃吃吃Chen
英语短剧剧本The Pocket Money Characters: Narrator(N),Salesman(S),Dad(D),Maggi(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P) Preparation:学校布景,做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景 Scene1（At Salesman’s home） N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty sale sman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello,do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate.My candies arevery popular,I don’t know why.The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,he hehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces! One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀） Wow, everything is ready! 糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu… S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha…… C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场) Scene2（At the school gate） N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩） (小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! …… M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies! A: Yeah! I think they are yummy! M: Let’s ask him. A: OK! C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急） M&A: Why? C: I’m dirty！ M: No, you look nice! C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面) S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩） M&A: How much are they? S: Do you have money?（轻蔑） M&A: Money?(对视) M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极） A: Me too. S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场) M: What can we do now? A: Let’s ask dad for money. M: But how to ask? A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信） M: Good idea!(全部下场) Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home） N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报) M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸) A: And play the guitar for us! M: We know you play so well! (爸爸诧异地看着孩子) D: Oh? What a bright day today! M&A: Please, dad!(哀求) D:OKOK! Let’s. (取吉他，开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss? M&A: Of course! (开始弹，第一段孩子随节奏起舞，第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话，爸爸停止弹琴。) D: What’s the matter? M: Dad, we have no money! A: Can we have some please? D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more. M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate. A: They look so sweet and nice! M: Other students always buy them! D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理，转头看报，孩子回到房间) M: What shall we do now? A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说) M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边) M: Dad, I want a new eraser! A: I want a longer ruler! M&A: Dad, please！ D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money! M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看) A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出断尺） D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know? M&A: Yes, sir! D: Here you are !( 给钱) M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴，下场) N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache. (孩子高兴地买了糖，边吃边回家，小贩下场，孩子到家后肚子痛) M: Aiyo!……（两人躬着背进场） A: ……. D: What’s wrong? M: I’ve a stomachache! A: Me too! D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate? M: Yes. We had some candies just now. A: I had some too! D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!（生气） M: But they look nice! A: And tastes good! M&A: Aiyo…… D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look! M&A: OK. Scene 4: (At the school gate) N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away. (正走到校门口，发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩) P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now! C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩) S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And… C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy! M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…（指着小贩） D: He? (警察走过来问爸爸，朝小孩) P: What’s the matter with them? D: They got a stomachache after having his candies. S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And…… P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.（非常严厉） S: OK. I know. (羞愧) C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home. Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health. D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you? M&A: OK, dad! P: Let’s take them to the hospital now. D: OK, Let’s go. N（出场）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon.
Nightwish阳光
剧本主要是由台词和舞台指示组成的，是戏剧艺术创作的文本基础，编导与演员演出的依据。与剧本类似的词汇还包括脚本、剧作等等。它是以代言体方式为主，表现故事情节的文学样式。剧本主要分为文学剧本与摄影剧本。
Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧S:孙悟空 E:猪八戒
J:沙僧
B:白骨精（何平） B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆B3:B变化成的老头
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: （摸出，递给S）
S: Look,boss （凑近T）……（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss!Forgive me（伸手拿回）
T: （缩手）I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: （递）Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!（坐）My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……
S: You will what（凶相）？
E: （软禁）I will help you catch fleas（跳蚤）。
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away……
T: Em……It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!（安装）（B已躲在一旁偷看）
J: This is……？
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!（走）
T: Let’s play cards!（三人开始打牌）音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.（变成B1）
B1: （接近三人，望着）Can I join you?
J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
B1: （在一旁观看）Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?（打出）
B1: Double King!
T: Oh…I win! Em……，Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!（准备开电网门）
S: （回来，看见B1）Oh,monster!（上前就打）
B1: （倒）Ah……
T: （气愤）Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!（深呼吸）
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!（唱）Once more……you open the door…（泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱）
S: Please,Please,oh,no……（痛苦抱头）
T: （呛住，咳）Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: （真身出现）Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!（变成太婆）
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?…（连忙挡住地尸体）No,sorry!（陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡）
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!（S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2）
E&J: Are you Ok, boss?（扶T）
J: Look,（伸食指）how many?
T:Two……（晕乎乎地）Sun Wukong, game over!（变成B3）
B3: （看到B1,B2尸体）Oh…，my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!（哭喊）
S: I’ll kill you, monster!（打）
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you……（险些晕，E,J扶住 ）You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: （悲，离去）（音乐，营造 "假"悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
J: boss, brother Monkey is……
T: Dont mention that guy any more!
B: （出现） Ha,ha,ha!（三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后"飘"走）
T: （惊）You are……
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!（E,J去阻斗，被击退）
B: （抓住T）Ill enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha……
S: （悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕）A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I cant understand……What happened?
S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: （沉默）……Monkeys intuition（直觉）
T: Wukong（S不理T）I admit my mistake this time（S仍不理）Im sorry（小声）
S: What?
T: Im sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I……am……sorry……（S 捂耳）（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
（谢幕）
A Play:
Buying Medicine
By Liu Qinglin
Characters: X ------ Xiao Fei
S ------- Shopkeeper
D- ---- Doctor Li
O- -----Others （ O1, O2 O3 -----）
Ws ------ Wounded soldiers （ W1, W2,W3 -----）
H -----He zhenwu, a Japanese spy
W- ---- Woman
J ------ Japanese
Scene1
（ At an old temple lie some wounded soldiers. D is examining their wounds.）
D: Good evening, everyone.
Ws: （ Together） Good evening, Dr Li.
D: Hello, let me examine you.
W1: I’m all right. There’s no need to do so. （ W1 is about to fall down.）
D: （Helps him up） Your leg discloses you! Let me have a look. Ah, it’s going worse. Let me put some
medicine on you.
W1: No, it isn’t necessary. There is little medicine left. Go to look after that young man. He has a high
fever. He seems fainted.
D: （ Takes W2’s temperature. ） So he has! He needs an injection but we have none. Feed him these last three pills with warm water. What else can I do? There’s no medicine left.
W3: Don’t worry, Doctor. I am young and strong. I am all tight now. I’ll go and buy some medicine.
D: No, you are not all right. Your leg will bleed when you move. Lie down and have a good rest.
W4: So you can let me go . I can run very fast. The enemy cannot catch me.
（ Just then, Xiao Fei comes in.）
X: Be quiet everybody. You must have a good rest. This is order, you know.
W1: But there’s no medicine left.
X: That’s why I’m here. I’ve come to fetch the list . I’ll go to town to buy medicine.
D: Have you got any money?
X: No.
D: （ Takes off her gold ring.） Take this with you. Perhaps you can change it for medicine.
X: No, I can’t take it , because it is given to you by your future husband who gave up his life to the revolution a few days ago. It mustn’t go to other people’s hands.
D: But how can you get the medicine without money?
X: Don’t worry. I’ll manage. Goodbye.
D and Ws: Be careful!
Scene2
（ Music） （ Xiao is walking on the way like a businessman. He sings as he goes.
When he Passes a corn field, he sees He Zhenwu the Japanese spy robbing a woman）
W: Help! Help!
H: You needn’t cry. There’s nobody else here. Let me marry you and make yourself noble.
W: You Japanese spy! No one will marry you.
H: Otherwise I’ll kill you! （ He raises his gun and the woman catches hold of his wrist . They start a fight. Finally, H knocks W down. Just then X arrives）
X: Stop! Don’t bully Chinese woman!
H: It’s none of your business! Go away.
X: I would rather stop you. （ H raises his gun towards X. X kicks it away. They begin a fight. W puts on his clothes W and begins to pull H’s leg. X knocks H down）
X: （To W） Quick! Help me tie him up.
W: You are bleeding. Let me do first aid.
X: It doesn’t matter. Pull him into the corn fields.
H: Please spare my life. I won’t do that again
（ W takes up the gun and is about to shoot.）
X: Don’t do that. If the Japanese hear the shot, they’ll come.
H: Thank you, sir. But please let me go.
X: Let you go? You’ll continue to kill and bully Chinese! （ X puts his socks into H’s mouth.） Wait here . And lend me your pass and bike. Don’t try to run away. （They go down.）
Scene 3
（Music） （X is riding a bike toward town. He sings as he goes along）
J1 and J2: Stop! Show me your pass.
X: Here you are!
J1 & J2: （ After reading it.） Hi! Salute. （ They Salute.） （ X goes through the town gate and after some time stops at a drug shop and knocks at the door.）
S: Who’s it?
X: It’s me, a customer.
S: （To O1） Go to answer the door.
O1: come in, please. You are the only customer for these days.
S: What can I do far you?
X: （ Hands him the pass.） We Japanese assistant soldier need some medicine. Here is the list.
S: Oh, so much medicine! Do you have enough money?
X: We’ll send you the money in a few days’ time. Quick, this is order. （ Shows him his gun.）
S: All right! All right!
S: （ To O1） Quick! Give him the medicine
O1: All right . （ Hands it to X.） Here you are.
X: I have to go now. Bye-bye.
S: （ To O1） Quick! Close the door.
O1: All right. （ He closes it.）
S: （ Makes a telephone call.） Hi! This is No1 Medicine Shop. Just now, a man came in and took a lot of medicine away. Perhaps he belongs to the Eighth Route Army . Stop him, quick!
（ X rides his bike fast. Soon he arrives at the gate, J1 is receiving a phone call. J2 signs him to stop. X rides towards him and knocks him out. J1 begins to short at him. Soon he arrives at a bridge, where two soldiers stand . X kills them with two shots. A crowd of soldiers rush towards him. He run into the corn field. H has just frees himself and is about to leave.）
J3: Oh, here he is!
js: （Together） Don’t move! Hands up!
H: I’m sorry. I’m not Eighth -----
J4: Tie him up. （ They tie him up and beat him.）
H: Ouch! I belong to Japanese army.
J5: Don’t listen to him. He’s lying. Put him in our car. Let’s go. （They go down.）
X: （X goes through the corn field and comes up to a street. He meets some Japanese and fights them. He kills some of them and enters a lane. Finally he arrives at the temple. D and Ws come to welcome him）
D: Here comes our hero.
Ws: Congratulations.
X: Thank you, everybody.
（ The end ）
L:梁山伯 Z:祝英台 M:马文才 旁：旁白
旁：话说梁山伯和祝英台三年前一同来到刚刚成立的武汉新东方书院学习英语。梁山伯酷爱口语师从口语老师邓大付学习美国口语，尤其擅长模仿马丁？路德？金的演讲。（旁白暂停，邓英文"I have a dream "）。祝英台一心梦想出国，梦想有朝一日成为BBC主持人（旁白暂停，祝英文"this is BBC…）最终祝英台以托福和GRE高分的成绩被哥伦比亚大学录取。在祝英台临走的那一天，梁山伯十八里相送在天河机场与祝英台缠绵告别。
L: Yingtai ,I love you so much and I’ll miss you so much.!
Z: I love you, too! Don’t worry. Shanbo I only love you in this wild world. I’ll marry you as soon as I’m back. Wait for me just for two years.
L: I’ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.
Z: I’ll kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo
旁：一周以后，祝英台从美国打来越洋电话。
L: Oh, Sweetie, Yintai I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?
Z: Listen, Liang Shanbo. I’m calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think you’d better find a better girl.
L: What? Pardon?
Z: Because I’ll get married.
L: Married ? to who?
Z: To 英俊潇洒风流倜傥玉树临风的.Ma Wencai He is so handsome. So rich, even richer than Yu Minhong. And he is good at 葵花宝典。I love his money and I love his body.
L: What are you talking about? You wait and see. I’ll give you some color to see see. I’ll kill you! I will kill you in America!
Z: America? You can come to America? Hahahaha
旁：祝英台的无端背叛深深伤害了梁山伯脆弱的心灵，他发下毒誓：不杀祝英台誓不为人。于是重新来到新东方书院学习托福和GRE.当然他没有忘记用老生证可以优惠20块钱。为了能飞越重洋去杀掉祝英台，他每天提醒自己有一个梦想。I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and lives out the true meaning of its creed:We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal. I have a dream that one day I will kill Zhu Yingtai right in America. It is a dream that deeply rooted in my heart. In my heart.
旁：一年之后，梁山伯也来到了美国，四处寻找祝英台的下落。终于在纽约街头找到他当年的爱人祝英台，而她正和马文才卿卿我我。
L: Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, huh? Who am I ? I’m Liang Shanbo. I’m here to kill you.
Z: Liang…shanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.
M: You! Get out of here.
L: You! Get out of here!
M: 电话来了。Hello, I’m in wuhan. Ok ok I’ll come right now
Z: Please don’t go. Just stay, please. He’ll kill me.
M: I know! But if I stay, he’ll kill me by the way
Z: You told me you were good at 葵花宝典？
M: Sorry, I’m not good at 葵花宝典。 I’m just good at 新华字典。
Z: Oh, you liar. Just get out of here!! （to Liang Shanbo） Oh, darling, you must kill me?
L: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.
Z: （sing）When we were young, we listened to the MP3, you said you’d love me forever. Don’t kill me, ok? Shanbo. I qiu qiu ni
L: No door! （sing） Where you go, whatever you say, I’ll be right here killing you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I can’t love you, the only choice is to kill you.
Z: 曾经Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it. If I was to meet him again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love him, I should say ten thousand years. That man is you The only man I love in this wild world is you. Only you.（sing）
L: The only woman I want to kill is on-ly you!!
Z: Please, you know I love you. I love you just like laoshu ai dami. I want to marry you.
L: hehehe Really?
Z: Oh, of course. Please don’t kill me!!!!
L: To kill or not to kill is a question. I don’t know. Who can tell me? I put her life in your hands. Everybody here, please tell me kill or not kill?
（to kill）
L: You hear this. I ‘m sorry. But don’t worry , I’ll go to heaven together with you.
Z: All right kill me, then we’ll become two butterflies in the beautiful garden（sing）
（sing）
Z: 亲爱的你别杀我，杀了我你也没有好结果
L:亲爱的我也不想杀 可是大家非得要我杀
JoJo爱次肉
人物：A， B， CA和B为朋友C 为小偷A and B waits for the bus with hands full of shopping bags. A carrying expensive LV handbag. C stands next to A.The bus comes and all three board the bus.A: I'm tired out from all that shopping!B: Yeah but we managed to get quite a few good bargains!C looks around, a little nervous. Stands closer to AThe road is a little bumpy and the stuffy air is somewhat uncomfortable. A turns to CA(to C): Excuse me, sir. Can you stop leaning towards me?C: sorry (move away)B: Are you alright?A: Yes, but he makes me feel uncomfortable.B: Relax, we only have 2 more stops to go. 公车继续向前C turn to A C：May I know which stop to alight to get to XX mall?A is not sure and asks B, turning her head away from C. C took the chance to put his hand into A's handbag, A is oblivious as she/he is busy talking to B.A: *give directions to C* take 4 more stops from here and alight, walk north until you see a McDonalds, and then turn right, you should see the shopping mallC puts something into his bagC: thank you.C accidentally drops something from his bagA: Wait a minute! What is my keychain doing in your bag?C looks at A nervouslyA: are you a pickpocket?C: no...I...(door opens, C runs to the door)B grabs C as C run past BC: I'm sorry. I'm urgently in need of cash so...A: Please return my purse and promise you would not do it again.C: yes I promise.B：alright, we'll let you off this time but don't let us catch you doing it again.
