冬射未至
熬夜对身体不好，所以我建议你通宵。Staying up late is not good for your health, so I suggest you stay up all night.整理了一些英语 说说大全 ，欢迎大家阅读！ 1、我胖了才显得你瘦，免得我瘦的时候显得你丑。I am fat to look thin, so that I don't look ugly when I am thin. 2、在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。Looking at beauties in the street, the higher one is appreciation, and the lower one is rogue. 3、如果你主动一点，我们不光会有故事，还会有孩子。If you take the initiative, we will not only have stories, but also children. 4、这个世间只有圆滑，没有圆满的。This world only smooth, not perfect. 5、我喜欢交朋友，但不喜欢供祖宗。I like to make friends, but I don't like to offer sacrifices to my ancestors. 6、黑夜给了我一双黑色的眼睛，可我却用它来翻白眼。The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used it to turn white eyes. 7、即使失败99次，我也要继续下去，最起码凑个整，免得强迫症又犯了Even if I fail 99 times, I will continue, at least to make a whole, so as not to make another obsessive-compulsive disorder! 8、我卖的了梦，装得了酷，我是超级无敌美少女。I sell the dream, pretend to be cool, I am a super invincible beauty girl. 9、幸好追你的时候你重，跑不动。Fortunately, you are heavy and can't run when chasing you. 10、谈一次恋爱，少一个朋友。A love, less friends. 11、早起的鸟儿有早饭吃，晚起的鸟儿有晚饭吃。The early bird has breakfast, the late bird has supper. 12、你那么甜，不适合风吹日晒，适合躺在我怀里。You are so sweet, not suitable for the wind and sun, suitable for lying in my arms. 13、我是水神，我为自己带盐！I am the water god, I bring salt for myself! 14、自从放了暑假，我就把早餐给戒了。Since the summer vacation, I've given up breakfast. 15、当初说好的不让我受一点委屈，果然不止一点点。I was not wronged by what I said at the beginning, and it was indeed more than a little. 16、减肥这种事从来不会船到桥头自然直，你这体重，没到桥头船就沉了。This kind of thing will never go straight from bridge to bridge. Your weight will sink before bridge. 17、我真是个花心的人，暑假刚走了我就想着寒假。I'm really a flowery person. I think of winter vacation just after the summer vacation. 18、听君一席话，省我十本书。Listen to your words, save me ten books. 19、衣柜衣服千千万，只有新的最好看。There are thousands of clothes in the wardrobe, only the new ones are the best to see. 20、你是最好的，如果真有人比你好，我就装作没看见。You are the best. If someone is better than you, I pretend I haven't seen it. 21、孔子不能解决的问题，老子帮你解决。I will help you solve the problems that Confucius can't solve. 22、车到山前必有路，有路我也刹不住。There must be a way to get to the front of the mountain. I can't stop if there is a way. 23、我们说好不分离，要一直一直在一起。We agreed not to separate, to always be together. 24、别和我谈恋爱，虚伪，有本事咱俩结婚。Don't fall in love with me. Hypocrisy. We can get married. 25、从来都不用化妆品，我保持年轻的秘诀就是，谎报年龄。I never use cosmetics. The secret to keep young is to lie about my age. 26、每当我找到成功的钥匙，就有人偷偷把锁给换了。Whenever I find the key to success, someone stealthily changes the lock. 27、愿你们都拥有人人羡慕的爱情，而我有钱就好。I wish you all have the love that everyone envies, and I have money. 28、大姨妈是吐血鬼，卫生巾是吸血鬼。Big aunt is a spitting blood ghost, sanitary napkin is a vampire. 29、怎么把脑子的钱转到银行卡里，在线等，急！How to transfer the money of brain to bank card, online, etc., urgent! 30、前面一只虫飞到我的数学题旁边，看了几眼题目死了。A bug in front of me flew to my math problem and saw the problem dead. 31、想和你喝酒是假，想醉你怀里是真。Want to drink with you is false, want to drunk your arms is true. 32、待我日后嫁得良人，定谢你当年不娶之恩。I will thank you for not marrying when I am married. 33、这世间，真心本就稀缺，更该俭省。In this world, sincerity is scarce, even more frugal. 34、青春就是疯狂的奔跑，然后华丽的跌倒。Youth is crazy running, then gorgeous fall. 35、没有人不会累，只是每个人宣泄的方式不同，比如我：懒得说。No one is not tired, but everyone has different ways of venting, such as me: lazy to say. 以上就是带给大家欣赏的英语 说说大全 ，喜欢记得收藏！
最真的poor
段子经典英语笑话
看一些英语笑话，既能让我们学到不少英语知识，也能让我们开心，一起来看看段子经典英语笑话吧!
If the boys stare at you, they have guts to suckyourteeth!
如果男生盯着你看， 他们就有胆亲你。
这是电视剧Full House里两个姐妹的对话， 这句话有三个地方很棒， 第一个是stare at you, 就是指盯着人家看的意思， have guts 就是说有胆子的.意思， (这是一个巧合， 中文英文说有胆子都是说有勇气的意思!) 而最后一个 suck your teeth 则是指接吻的意思， 很有趣， 但是像这种句子是小孩子说的， 难登大雅之堂。
接吻还有另外一个口语的用法： smooch 例如 I didn't smooch that girl last night。我昨晚没亲那个女孩。
Amidst the mists and coldest frosts, with stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, he thrusts his fist against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
A tall eastern girl named Short long loved a big Mr. Little. But Little, thinking little of Short, loved a little lass named Long. To belittle Long. Short announced She would marry Little before long. This caused Little shortly to marry Long. To make a long story short, did tall Short love big Little less because Little loved little Long more?
A Finnish fisher named Fisher failed to fish any fish one Friday afternoon and finally he found out a big fissure in his fishing-net.
A snow-white swan swiftly to catch a slowly-swimming snake in a lake.
A writer named Wright was instructing his little son how to write Wright right. He said: "It is not right to write Wright as 'rite'---try to write Wright aright!"
The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
老猫
一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。
于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
