天使之夜
A man went to church to talk with God， He said， "my God， how much is one million dollars?" God said， "a penny"， and the man said， "God， what is one million years?" God said， "one second，" and the man said， "God， can I have a penny?" God said "one second，"
It is an act， an act， an action， South-FieldFiels: "AsdioTimeStudio"， In a word， "Asple Tobe，" SouthEndoStIdSuffiSudio: "Soad， IsAuthOffice? South-FieldFiel:
When two hunters were hunting in the forest， one of them fell accidentally， He showed his eyes and seemed to stop breathing， Another hunter quickly took out his cell phone and called the emergency center for help， The operator calmly said， "first of all， you should make sure he's dead，" and the operator heard the phone， At the other end of the shot， he heard the hunter ask， "what shall I do next?"
Articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， "One"?
Cat rat
Mrs， Brown went to visit a friend of her， She had a small box with a hole in it，
"What's in the box?" The friend asked，
"A cat，" answered Mrs， Brown， "You see， I dreamed of rats all the time， and I was scared! The cat wanted to catch them， "
"But mice are only imaginary，" said the friend，
"The cat is，" said Mrs， Brown in a low voice，
"One thing and one thing"， "one thing and one thing"， SudioStIdApple，
I think I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: what's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken，
Psychiatrist: how long has this been going on?
Patient: ever since I was an egg!
What is it?
One way，
SuthOffice?
South:
Enterprise merger and acquisition
I behaved like Ge Shunv
One day， when she was selling women's clothes in the Far East department store， a noble middle-aged man decided to buy one of his wife， but he soon found himself tortured by a crazy woman，
He stood up as much as he could， then lowered his head and waved his arms through the crowd，
"You are there!" An excited voice asked， "can't you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen，" he said， "I act like a gentleman， From now on， I act like a lady，"
Enterprise merger and acquisition
Articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， articles of association and articles of association，
One or two， 1， three， three， three， three， three， three， three， three， three， three， three， three， three， minorities， societies， societies， societies， societies， societies， societies， societies， minorities
"What is it?"
"One"， "one"， "one"，
Broom seller and Barber
A man who sold brooms went into the barber's shop to shave， and the barber bought a broom， When he shaved off， he asked for its price，
"Two pence，" the man said，
"No， no，" said the barber， "I'll give you a penny， If you think it is not enough， you can take the broom again，"
The man took it and asked him how much he would pay for shaving，
"A penny，" said the barber，
"I'll give you half penny， If it's not enough， you can put my beard on again，"
The development strategy of the enterprise
Articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， articles of association， articles of association and articles of association，
"Stand Stand"
"Yes， yes"， "yes"， "yes， companion， companion and companion"，
One or two， one or two， two， two， two or three， two， four， four， four， four， four， four， four， four， four， four， four， 1， 2， 2， 2， 2， 2， 2， 2， 2， 2， 2， 2， 2， 1， 2， 2， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， 1， and 1 respectively，
1， "One or two， one or two， three， two or three， five， five， five， five"，
Take a day off
Smith went to the front hall to see his boss， "boss，" he said， "We do some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow， and my wife needs me to help the attic and the garage， carry and carry things，" "We are understaffed， Smith，" the boss replied， "I can't give you， Take a day off， "Thank you， boss，" said Smith，
拓展资料
Give you three， you choose one，The Old CatAn old woman had a cat， The cat was very old， Bite it，Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not， Good work the old did when they were young， "[translation]Old catAn old woman has a cat， The cat is very old， It can't run fast and it can't bite because it's too old， One day， the old cat found a mouse， It jumped to catch the mouse， but it could not bite the mouse， So the mouse slipped away from its mouth， for the old cat could not bite it，So the old woman was very angry because the old cat had not killed the mouse， She began to hit the cat， and the cat said， "don't hit your old servant， I've been working for you for many years and I'm willing to work for you， but I'm too old to be so old enough to remember the good things that the old are doing when they are young，"A man was going to the house of some rich person， Them away into the dust，He went on and came to a river， The river had become，He began to go home， He had eaten no food that day，Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to， be;[translation]A man was walking toward a rich man's house， As he walked along the road， he found a box of good apples on the side of the road， He said， "I'm not going to eat those apples， because the rich will give me more food， and he will give me good food，" Then he picked up the apple and threw it into the soil，He went on and came to the river， The river was rising， so he couldn't get to the other side of the river， He waited for a moment， Then he said， "I can't go to the rich house today， because I can't cross the river，"He began to go home， and he did not eat that day， He began to look for food， He found apples and was glad to turn them out of the dust and eat them，Don't throw good things away， You will find them useful at other times，The City Mouse and the Country MouseOnce there were two mice， They were friends， One mouse lived in， Ot good， and your house is not good， Why do you live，The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse，After some time they came out， When they came out， the Country，[translation]the City Mouse and the Country MouseOnce upon a time， there were two mice， and they were good friends， A mouse lives in the country， and the other in the city， Many years later， the country mouse met the city mouse， It said， "you must come to my home in the country，" So the city mouse went， The country mouse led it to a field on its own home， It finds all the best food for the city mouse， The city mouse said， "this thing is not good， Your house is not good， Why do you live in a hole in the field?" You should move to the city to live in， You can live in a beautiful house made of stone and eat delicious food， You should visit my home in the city， "The country mouse went to the house of the city mouse， The house was beautiful， and good food was set for them， But when they were about to start eating， they heard a lot of noise， and the rats in the city cried out， "run! Run fast! The cat is coming! " They ran away to hide，After a while， they came out， When they came out， the country mouse said， "I don't like living in the city， I like living in my hole in the field， Because it's poor but it's poor
cocoabread
当看到书商发过来的安东尼.布朗的英文绘本集，立马想起了他的两本脍炙人口的绘本《我爸爸》《我妈妈》。当年可是翻烂了的两本。安东尼 布朗（Anthony Browne）艺术学校毕业后，他在偶然的机会下对医学 插画 产生兴趣，并在 曼彻斯特 的医院工作了两年。不知是否受医学插画经验影响，读者不难发现，安东尼布朗喜欢精细描绘，例如常被他拿来当主角的大猩猩，身上毛发几乎每一根都清晰可辨。 阅读安东尼的作品，时常会惊讶作家心思的缜密、幽默风趣的表现，而其书中所带给孩子们的希望与愉悦，是儿童文学作品最难能可贵的珍宝。「安东尼布朗不仅有天份、有才能、有无可比拟的想象力，还将绘本带往前所未有的新领域，他以超现实的笔触创作出只有他才能呈现的绘本世界，吸引大小读者一读再读。 其作品屡见于各项童书大奖，而且本本脍炙人口。安东尼布朗特有的超现实风格，穿梭于现实与想象之间，每个小地方都藏着意涵丰富的幽默趣味，每次阅读都有新发现。《 我妈妈 》和《 我爸爸 》作者通过幼儿的视角，运用细腻的画风和夸张的想象力，将爸爸和妈妈无所不能的形象刻画地栩栩如生。 安东尼布朗以他一贯的幽默风趣，对最最平凡的英雄人物--父亲--致敬。借着想象力十足的童言童语，让穿着格子睡袍的老爸，化身为十项全能的超人. 这本绘本是以孩子的眼光为出发点，因此绘本里的父亲是巨大的，用仰式的角度表现孩子崇拜的眼光......安东尼布朗继《我爸爸》之后现给全天下妈妈的礼物。 「我妈妈，她很棒。我妈妈是个了不起的厨师，也是个技艺精湛的杂耍员。她是个杰出的画家，她还是全世界最强壮的女人！这就是我妈妈，她真的很棒。」 这本书非常适合儿子、女儿……还有特别是妈妈们阅读。 安东尼布朗特有的幽默与创意，不仅呈现在他的图像，也在看似简单的文字中。 除了《我爸爸》《我妈妈》这一系列，最受欢迎的就是WILLY系列了 Willy系列是以小猴子Willy——胆小羞怯的幼年Gorilla为主角的绘本。怀抱梦想、魔幻的Willy时而懦弱，时而勇敢，让看着他的小孩们也跟着担心、快乐。当然而在《Willy the Dreamer》中，“突发奇想”的Willy更是让大家惊讶！ 安东尼 的绘本故事，最引人入胜的地方，就是擅用简单的语言表达儿童内在心声，他创作了许多以 小黑猩猩 威利为主角，描绘孤单弱势儿童的故事。《Willy the Champ》（《威利成了冠军》） 在这本书中，Willy仍然是那个不管走到哪儿都成为大家笑柄的胆小的家伙。Willy想参加足球队、赛车队和其它运动比赛，却被年长的 猩猩 取笑，还因为自己的笨拙受到斥责。当大猩猩们看到Willy和女朋友为了一部悲伤的电影而大哭时，又狠狠嘲笑了他一番。但是当大猩猩们看到一个和King Kong差不多个头的庞然大物走进小镇时，都吓得逃跑了。可是这个庞然大物走近时，Willy没有跑，害怕让他的脚生了根。然而碰巧的是，Willy这个小家伙击败了大强盗，最后受到了英雄般的欢迎。《Willy the Dreamer》 Willy在躺椅中瞌睡时做起了梦。他幻想自己成了电影明星，穿着玛丽·波平丝、吸血鬼 德库拉 、 查理·卓别林 的戏服；一会儿Willy又变成了酷似埃尔维斯的一个歌手，再一会儿又成了穿着香蕉式样的花边短裙和 芭蕾舞鞋 的一位芭蕾舞演员。接着，Willy又梦见自己成了个著名作家，身边堆满了自己作品的猩猩语译本，书里面包括了柴郡猫、疯狂的帽子先生和仙境的其它居民。《Willy the Wimp》 Wimp是一只黑猩猩，一次他看到一场混乱的景象：样子傻傻的Willy正和一群大猩猩激战，于是赶去解救Willy。Willy发现自己的救星是查尔斯·阿特拉斯（希腊神话中的擎天神）型、肌肉健壮的大猩猩，于是邮购了一本教人锻炼的书。不久后，当他的心上人米莉被大猩猩们攻击时，Willy已经足够强大，能够保护米莉了。本书使布朗再次获得 凯特·格林威奖 。《Willy's Pictures》 在这本书中，Willy展现了自己重新诠释的16位艺术大师的代表作。 Willy把 温斯洛·霍默 风格忧郁的《渔网》改造成了“一次丰收的捕鱼旅行”，例如，Willy把渔夫的捕鱼钩画成了香蕉，在船旁游着一只猪，脖子上挂着一串香蕉。勃鲁盖尔·彼得（佛兰德斯画家，擅画风景画）的巴别塔被Willy改造成了一座沙丘城堡，城堡上画着由Willy饰演的、来自 威廉姆·布莱克 （1757-1827，英国漫画家，诗人）《快乐的日子》中的人物。细心的读者会发现一些重复的画面，以及来自其它作品的元素：霍珀·爱德华《周日清晨》（1882-1967，美国画家，以其质朴和现实主义的风格而闻名，《周日清晨》为其代表作）的荒凉街景被一扇窗旁的花照亮了（恰好是文森特·凡高的《花瓶中的十二朵向日葵》的小型仿作），Willy的朋友米莉出现在另一个窗口，Willy牵着狗，穿着印着他的猩猩签名的背心路过理发店的一头。而这套英文版的绘本，包括了安东尼几个系列的代表作，语言简洁明快，几个词轻松易理解，非常适合小朋友做启蒙绘本之用。喜欢可以私信啊。
恋慕耐受不良
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”Cat and MiceMrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist: What's your problem?Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。我要表现得象位女士I Am Acting Like a LadyOne day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed."You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?""Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."我要表现得象位女士一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”The Broom Seller and the BarberA man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it."Two pence," said the man."No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave."A penny." said the barber."I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."卖扫帚的人和理发师一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面.理发师向他买了一把扫帚.当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱.卖扫帚的人说:"两便士""不,不"理发师说,"我只出一便士.如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去."卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱.卖扫帚的人说:"我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上."Want a Day Off 想请一天假Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, " We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. " I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"一天，史密斯去见他的客户部领导，“老板”，斯密斯说，“我们家明天要大搞清洁，我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库，搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说，“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板，” Smith说，“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。I Lost 我输了It was at a five o’clock tea． A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．“So good of you to come， Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？”“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．”“How nice！And so original， too！ And you won？”“No，” said the young man absently，“I lost．”五点钟，下午茶的时间，一个年轻人因为迟到向女主人致歉。“您能来可真好，琼斯先生，您的兄弟在哪儿呢？”“您知道我们在办公室里有非常忙，我们俩只能来一个，所以就掷币来决定由谁来。”“太有意思了！还那么有独创性！那您赢了？”“不，”年轻人心不在焉地说，“我输了。”
密云汉子
1 A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
2 Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
3 I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
我要表现得象位女士
4 I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表现得象位女士
一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。
他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。
“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”
“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”
5 Want a Day Off 想请一天假
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, " We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. " I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
一天，史密斯去见他的客户部领导，“老板”，斯密斯说，“我们家明天要大搞清洁，我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库，搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说，“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板，” Smith说，“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。
6 I Lost 我输了
It was at a five o’clock tea． A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．
“So good of you to come， Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？”
“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．”
“How nice！And so original， too！ And you won？”
“No，” said the young man absently，“I lost．”
五点钟，下午茶的时间，一个年轻人因为迟到向女主人致歉。
“您能来可真好，琼斯先生，您的兄弟在哪儿呢？”
“您知道我们在办公室里有非常忙，我们俩只能来一个，所以就掷币来决定由谁来。”
“太有意思了！还那么有独创性！那您赢了？”
“不，”年轻人心不在焉地说，“我输了。”
7 Imitate Birds
A man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the producer.
"Imitate birds," the man said.
"Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."
"Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.
模仿鸟儿
一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。“你能干什么呢？”负责人问。
“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。
“你在开玩笑吧？”负责人答道，“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”
“噢，那就算了。”那名演员说着，展开翅膀，飞出了窗口。
8 How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
你是怎样来的？
一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”
老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”
“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”
英语（English）是印欧语系-日耳曼语族下的语言，由26个字母组合而成，英文字母渊源于拉丁字母，拉丁字母渊源于希腊字母，而希腊字母则是由腓尼基字母演变而来的。英语是国际指定的官方语言（作为母语），也是世界上最广泛的第一语言，英语包含约49万词，外加技术名词约30万个，是词汇最多的语言，也是欧盟以及许多国际组织以及英联邦国家的官方语言，拥有世界第三位的母语使用者人数，仅次于汉语和西班牙语母语使用者人数。
英语由古代从丹麦等斯堪的纳维亚半岛以及德国、荷兰及周边移民至不列颠群岛的盎格鲁、撒克逊以及朱特部落的白人所说的语言演变而来，并通过英国的殖民活动传播到了世界各地。由于在历史上曾和多种民族语言接触，它的词汇从一元变为多元，语法从“多屈折”变为“少屈折”，语音也发生了规律性的变化。在19至20世纪，英国以及美国在文化、经济、军事、政治和科学在世界上的领先地位使得英语成为一种国际语言。如今，许多国际场合都使用英语做为沟通媒介。
英语也是与电脑联系最密切的语言，大多数编程语言都与英语有联系，而且随着网络的使用，英文的使用更普及。英语是联合国的工作语言之一。 苏格兰语、低地撒克逊语、丹麦语、德语、荷兰语、南非荷兰语和英语也很接近。拥有法国血统的诺曼人于11世纪征服英格兰王国，带来数万法语词汇和拉丁语词汇，很大程度地丰富了英语词汇外，相对也驱使不少原生的语汇作废。
