liuyuecao110
比如说，现在很多年轻人去大学读书，与此同时呢，有很多人也投身到教育事业a mounting of young people go into universities to get a degree, as well as more and more people are devoted themselves to education.这样可以吗？as well as 可不可以换个高级点的短语？就是两个句子链接的紧密些，不要出现太多的逗号for example , a great number of young people go to college for obtaining a degree or a diploma , meanwhile , many people are devoted to education career for example, Some young people choose to go to college ,,however, others devote themselves to their education career A lot of people dedicate themselves to education career when many young people go to college on the other hand one the one hand, one the other hand
