2分钟幽默英语短文

1、I came home from work one day to find my wife,Jolynn,cradling our six-month-old daughter and repeating,"Da-da" How sweet,I though to myself,for her to choose Daddy as our baby's first word.Several weeks later,Jhlynn and I were wakened by a small voice crying,"Da-da".Turning over to go back to sleep,my wife said,"She's calling you,dear"译：一天，我下班回家，发觉我的妻子将我们六个月的女儿轻轻放到摇篮里，而且重复地说着："爸-爸"，呵，多么甜美，我自忖道，她选择教会我们的宝贝的第一个词是："爸-爸"。几个星期后，妻子和我睡得正香，忽然被小小的哭声给唤醒了，"爸-爸"。。。。我翻个身继续睡。。妻子说了："亲爱的，她正在叫你呢"。2Mom and Dad love our life to the selfless devotion of their love, however, we often encounter the cold because we may have misunderstood them or they will continue to love to do an indifferent Yet all I want to say :We cherish the love of the immediate well-being of Mom and Dad!!!!!Mom and Dad here all the good wishes for a happy and healthy life!!!National happy Mid-Autumn Festival!!爸爸妈妈 一生爱我们的人 无私地奉献着自己的爱 然而常常会遭遇到我们的冷漠 因为我们可能会误解了他们 把他们爱看做无所谓 可是一切还是会继续着 我想说： 珍惜眼前的幸福 努力去爱我们的爸爸妈妈吧！！！！！ 在这里祝愿所有的爸爸妈妈身体健康 幸福一生！！！ 国庆中秋佳节快乐！！3Children!When you are very young, I spent a lot of time teaching your time with spoons and chopsticks to eat.Teach you apologize, son shirt, slide down slides, and tell you the clothes, comb the hair hair, pinch the nose.These and the neighborhood you together is how I missed.So, when I recall, not receive, then, please, give me some time, so I am a bit so I think again : :most likely will not even say what I have to be forgotten.Children!You forget the hundreds of practitioners back of the first children to learn songs?I still remember the day when their brains to reply that he does not know from where you come out of nowhere?So, when I repeated again and again talking about the age-old story of my childhood humming the tune of the song, I understand.Let me continue to revel in those memories!Desirous of you, I can also accompany a nice chat!Children, I often forget to factor son expelled.Meals, dirty clothes, comb the hair will be made when the incessant shaking hands, not to press me,for me a little more patience and tenderness, as long as you are together, there will be a lot of warmth well up in my mind. 孩子！当你还很小的时候，我花了很多时间，教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西。教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕。这些和你在一起的点点滴滴，是多么的令我怀念不已。所以，当我想不起来，接不上话时，请给我一点时间，等我一下，让我再想一想……极可能最后连要说什么，我也一并忘记。孩子！你忘记我们练习了好几百回，才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗？是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁，去回答不知道你从哪里冒出来的吗？所以，当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事，哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时，体谅我。让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧！切望你，也能陪着我闲话家常吧！孩子，现在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带。吃饭时，会弄脏衣服，梳头发时手还会不停的抖，不要催促我，要对我多一点耐心和温柔，只要有你在一起，就会有很多的温暖涌上心头。

1、I came home from work one day to find my wife,Jolynn,cradling our six-month-old daughter and repeating,"Da-da" How sweet,I though to myself,for her to choose Daddy as our baby's first word.Several weeks later,Jhlynn and I were wakened by a small voice crying,"Da-da".Turning over to go back to sleep,my wife said,"She's calling you,dear"译：一天，我下班回家，发觉我的妻子将我们六个月的女儿轻轻放到摇篮里，而且重复地说着："爸-爸"，呵，多么甜美，我自忖道，她选择教会我们的宝贝的第一个词是："爸-爸"。几个星期后，妻子和我睡得正香，忽然被小小的哭声给唤醒了，"爸-爸"。。。。我翻个身继续睡。。妻子说了："亲爱的，她正在叫你呢"。2Mom and Dad love our life to the selfless devotion of their love, however, we often encounter the cold because we may have misunderstood them or they will continue to love to do an indifferent Yet all I want to say :We cherish the love of the immediate well-being of Mom and Dad!!!!!Mom and Dad here all the good wishes for a happy and healthy life!!!National happy Mid-Autumn Festival!!爸爸妈妈 一生爱我们的人 无私地奉献着自己的爱 然而常常会遭遇到我们的冷漠 因为我们可能会误解了他们 把他们爱看做无所谓 可是一切还是会继续着 我想说： 珍惜眼前的幸福 努力去爱我们的爸爸妈妈吧！！！！！ 在这里祝愿所有的爸爸妈妈身体健康 幸福一生！！！ 国庆中秋佳节快乐！！3Children!When you are very young, I spent a lot of time teaching your time with spoons and chopsticks to eat.Teach you apologize, son shirt, slide down slides, and tell you the clothes, comb the hair hair, pinch the nose.These and the neighborhood you together is how I missed.So, when I recall, not receive, then, please, give me some time, so I am a bit so I think again : :most likely will not even say what I have to be forgotten.Children!You forget the hundreds of practitioners back of the first children to learn songs?I still remember the day when their brains to reply that he does not know from where you come out of nowhere?So, when I repeated again and again talking about the age-old story of my childhood humming the tune of the song, I understand.Let me continue to revel in those memories!Desirous of you, I can also accompany a nice chat!Children, I often forget to factor son expelled.Meals, dirty clothes, comb the hair will be made when the incessant shaking hands, not to press me,for me a little more patience and tenderness, as long as you are together, there will be a lot of warmth well up in my mind. 孩子！当你还很小的时候，我花了很多时间，教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西。教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕。这些和你在一起的点点滴滴，是多么的令我怀念不已。所以，当我想不起来，接不上话时，请给我一点时间，等我一下，让我再想一想……极可能最后连要说什么，我也一并忘记。孩子！你忘记我们练习了好几百回，才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗？是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁，去回答不知道你从哪里冒出来的吗？所以，当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事，哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时，体谅我。让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧！切望你，也能陪着我闲话家常吧！孩子，现在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带。吃饭时，会弄脏衣服，梳头发时手还会不停的抖，不要催促我，要对我多一点耐心和温柔，只要有你在一起，就会有很多的温暖涌上心头。 Life after death 死后重生 "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you. “你相信人能死后重生吗？”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信，先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦，那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。” Talking clock 会说话的钟 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" 一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴！现在是凌晨两点钟了！” 希望对你有帮助

推荐:1.Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow". 老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行". 2. Do You Know My Work？ One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes． Two men stood outside and looked at the fire． “Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．” “You don't know my work，” said the other． “What is your work？” “I'm a policeman． “Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman． “I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．” 译文： 你知道我是干什么的吗？ 一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。 两个人站在外面，看着大火。 “在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。 “你是干什么的？” “我是警察。” “噢！”第一个人喊了一声,灵机一动,说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。 “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”希望帮到你.