未暖rabbit
搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .Birds are dancing in the cold .A man is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !Y:, Never mind baby.X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?X:Iamximenchuixue.Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks,Y:Do you still want to kill me ?X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit （一人路过，x起身跑过去）X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!X:Thanks,byebye.Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)Y:Who are you?H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !Y:You are right !H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.Y:Yes,It’s very good.H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!第二幕：无间道H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.K:sit down plese, yegucheng.Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?King:yes,I will.Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……Y:of course.美女出场M:hello，帅锅..K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?Y: Yes,I do.K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!X:Forgive you? Why ?Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”!Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)X:milk?I love you.K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)K:Fuck you. I must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha……Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边）Y :do you want to go to wc?X:Yes,I……I…… do.Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away ! K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Xwill die.M扑倒在X的身边：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，K吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .X:go home ! ?M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !—来自于网络
壹只头俩只脑
绝对是搞笑英语剧本:Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company. This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo! I finally finish this case. It is really tough! I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too .I always get so busy in this season. I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much. What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case?Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right. Let’s pig out on junk food!Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown. I miss German food!Ca: so do I .how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before. Do you have any recommendation?Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checseCi: They all sound yummy. But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families?Wing&Ca: NoCi: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted .Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me .what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together. I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great! That is fantastic. Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplingsWing: Very good idea! We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”Ca: sure, here you are .what s next?Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together .be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softerWing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it .shall I blend them?CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well. A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared .lets start!CiCi: Wait! I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these?Ca: Wow! Cheese! Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God. Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life. Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!
无忧快乐起
英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money Scene1（At Salesman’s home） N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces! 另一个 白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on. 白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.) 皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you. 皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly. AprilFool'sDay N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies! F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family. Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye! N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man. U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please? F: Ok, here. U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck! N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly. D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great! （上前抓木棒,却被粘在上面） Oh! Dear! I can't leave it! （吃惊地） D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you! （走向木棒） D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous! D2: You can come, so I can come, too! （也被粘在木棒上） Oh, my god! What's wrong with me? D1: What a pity! N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girl followed him. In the field they met an old scientist. S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. （抓stick ,也被粘住） Oh! Bad luck! Terrible! N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed. King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife. F: Let me try , Perhaps I can. N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed. k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your 生辰八字. Which day is your birthday? F: April 1.转自： K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?! N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool". 《臭脚的故事》英语话剧剧本 A Story about Love and Stinky Feet by Dr. Sofia Chen陈南妤 超级搞笑,哈哈哈 从前,一个巫婆有一双臭脚,人们都很讨厌.所以,她想找一个人换掉她的双脚. 有一天她来到"香国" .她发现,人人都有双香脚.一天王子午睡,巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚. 有一位公主,她总是失眠.虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法,她还不能睡觉.国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿. 最后,他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡,她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚,然后她将睡得很好. 最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起. 人物 Ada: Little girl Candy: Queen Evander: King Evelyn Joel: Prince Rita: Singer /Woman Yilina: Witch -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet. There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”. Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep. The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter. And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together. SCENE I (One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book) Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story! Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They smelt worse than stinky tofu. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. Witch: （screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence. More and more people fall for my…my … feet! Oh no, my feet! I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet. The smell of my feet can kill mice. Oh, I don’t want to live. I want to fly away! （Flying to the Fragrance country） Witch: (Crying) I hate my feet! I hate my feet! (in a low voice) Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet. (Searching) Oh. What a handsome boy. (Come closer and take a deep breath) Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair! (Angrily) Not fair! Look, he’s sleeping and snoring. Let me exchange my feet with his! (Doing magic and laughing loudly) Oh, my feet. You smell so sweet! Now I’m really the most charming witch. (Fly away) Prince: (Asleep and dreaming) Oh! What a beautiful girl you are! You are my only one – my dear princess. Prince: (Wake up!) Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell! The room smells of stinky tofu. Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no! It’s my feet. I have a pair of stinky feet. How did it happen? (Hold on to his head.)(Run away) I can’t believe it! SCENE II (The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.) Prince: Oh~ there are many crows. Crow A: Please go away… Crow B: Quickly! It’s full of bad smell here. Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Oh! I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~! (Prince continues to walk. He sees some flowers.) Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers. Flower A: Oh! I can’t live without fresh air. Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please. Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad. (Prince continues to walk.) Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back. (Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.) Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes. Stranger B: Oh! Don’t talk nonsense. Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from. It’s him. /span> Prince: I can’t believe it! My disgusting feet have magic power! Queen: Oh! Don’t say that! They are not disgusting at all. Congratulations! You are going to marry my dear daughter. King: Yes! This is a happy ending. Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet. And then, she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.
樱花卫厨ks
甲:Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie
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