唐伯兔吃小白兔
初中英语长笑话带翻译
笑话是幽默的一种表现形式,通过阐述语用因素对英语笑话言语的作用机制,可以探索英语幽默话语的语用特征和动态运行模式,帮助人们从认知角度和心理推理机制上更好地了解笑话幽默的产生方式。我精心收集了初中英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
The Los Angeles Police Department,the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are thebest at apprehending criminals.
洛杉矶警察局、联邦调查局和中央情报局，都想要证明他们最会逮捕罪犯。
The President decides to give them a test.
于是总统决定要考考他们。
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
他把一只兔子放进森林，而他们每一个人都必须去抓它。
The CIA goes in.
中央情报局的人进去了。
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
他们在整个森林里放置了动物通报器。
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
他们质问所有的 植物和矿物证人。
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
就在三个月的密集调查之后，他们得到的结论就是兔子不存在。
The FBI goes in.After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest ,
联邦调查局韵人进去了。就在两个星期都没有线索之后，
killing everything in it,including the rabbit,and they make no apologies.
他们放火把森林烧了，杀光了里面的一切，包括这只，兔子在内 ，而且他们并没有表现出歉意。
The LAPD goes in.They come out two hours later with a baddly beaten bear.
洛杉矾警察局的人进去了。两个小时之后，他们带着一只惨遭严重殴打的'熊出来。
The bear is yelling;"Ok!I am a rabbit!I'm a rabbit!"
这只熊大声地喊着说：“好啦!好啦!我是兔子啦!我是兔子啦!”
A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.
有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的柜台旁选了一个位置。
"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.
他点餐时说：“给我来个腌牛肉三明治。”
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it,like our midnight Special."
"菜单上没有腌牛肉三 明治，但是我可以给你一个里面有腌牛肉的三明治，像是我们的午夜特餐。”
"What's a Midnight Special?"
“午夜特餐是什么?”
"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle andmayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."
“有三层，里面是腌牛肉、牛舌、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、 洋葱、腌泡菜，还有美乃滋的三层烤葡萄干面包。…
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it tome on a plate?"
"你可不可以在两片白面包中间只放一片腌牛肉，装在一个盘子上端给我吃?”
"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,
“哦，当然可以。啦!”接着他就转向制作三明治的人，
he sang out:"One Midnighet Special.Make it one deck,hold thetongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisin breadwhite,untoasted!"
大声喊出：“一个午夜特餐。把它做一层就好，里面不要加牛着、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、洋葱、腌泡菜和美乃滋，把葡萄干面包做成白面包，不要烤!”
多收了三五斗啊
初中英语笑话故事大全
笑一笑，十年少，我为大家整理了初中英语笑话故事大全,希望大家能展颜一笑,记得每天都要开心一刻哦!嘻嘻!
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.
She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”
But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”
Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，
then green again，but her car did not start.
“What am I going to do now?” She said.
But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”
格林太太八十岁了。她有一辆小型轿车，每逢星期六她总是开着这辆车去购买食品。
因为年纪大了，格林太太车子开得不快，不过她开车技术很高，从来没有出过事。有时她的孙子孙女们对她说：“奶奶，您别开车了，我们可以送您去商店。”
但她总是说：“不，我喜欢开车。我已经开了五十年了，现在还不想撒手。”
上星期六，她看见交通灯是红色就刹住了车。后来车子熄火了。交通灯由绿色转为黄色，然后转为红色，又转变为绿色，可她的车子还是发动不起来。
“现在我该怎么办呢?”她说。
这时一位警察走过来，和气地对她说：“早上好，今天交通灯的颜色没有一样您喜欢吗?”
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hourago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
一个男人在热气球上，发现自己迷失了方向。他下降高度，下方有一个妇女。他又下降了一点，大声呼喊,"打扰下，你能帮个忙吗，一个小时以前我答应了一个朋友要和他见面，但现在我不知道我身处何地。”
妇女在下面回答，“你在一个热气球里，大约离地面三十英尺。你在北纬40-41度之间，西经59-60度之间。”
“你必定是个工程设计师，”气球上的男人说。
“我是，”女人回答。“你是怎么知道的?”
“是这样，”气球上的男人说“你告诉我的事在技术上都是正确的，但是我无法理解你的看法，事实是我依旧迷失。坦白说，到目前为止你没帮上我多少。”
下面的妇女回应道，“你一定是在管理部门工作。”
“我是，”气球上的`男人回答，“这你是怎么知道的?”
“是啊，”妇女说，“你总是不知道你在哪里，也不知道你要去哪里。你的上升，是由于大量的热气。你对别人许下的承诺，你不知道如何履行，而且你还期望在你下面的人会解决你的问题。事实就是在我们见面之前，我们都在完全相同的立场上，可现在，不知怎么地，却成了我的错了。”
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
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