miss无敌
看了那么多中文段子，来看一点英文段子解解腻吧!下面是我为大家整理的经典幽默英语段子精选，希望大家能够喜欢。
经典幽默英语段子精选1：
1、Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.任何值得做的，就把它做好。
2、Happiness is a way station between too much and too little.幸福是太多和太少之间的一站。
3、In love folly is always sweet.恋爱中，干傻事总是让人感到十分美妙。
4、The hard part isn’t making the decision. It’s living with it.做出决定并不困难，困难的是接受决定。
5、Your happy passer-by all knows, my distressed there is no place hides.你的幸福路人皆知，我的狼狈无处遁形。
6、You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind.你也许已走出我的视线，但从未走出我的思念。
7、Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you love someone.爱不是什么可能、大概、也许，一旦爱上了，自己是十分清楚的。
8、In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.到头来，你活了多少岁不算什么，重要的是，你是如何度过这些岁月的。
9、When the whole world is about to rain, let’s make it clear in our heart together.当全世界约好一起下雨，让我们约好一起在心里放晴。
10、It’s better to be alone than to be with someone you’re not happy to be with.宁愿一个人呆着，也不要跟不合拍的人呆一块。
经典幽默英语段子精选2：
1、Life is a journey, not the destination, but the scenery along the should be and the mood at the view.人生就是一场旅行，不在乎目的地，在乎的应该是沿途的风景以及看风景的心情。
2、Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.时间在流逝，生命中人来人往。不要错失机会，告诉他们在你生命中的意义。
3、I lied when I said I didn’t like you. I lied when I said I didn’t care. I lie every time I try to tell myself I will never fall for you.我说不爱你，那是假话;我说不在乎，那是假话;我告诉自己对你再不会有感觉了，那也是假话。
4、One needs 3 things to be truly happy living in the world: some thing to do, some one to love, some thing to hope for.要得到真正的快乐，我们只需拥有三样东西：有想做的事，有值得爱的人，有美丽的梦。
5、No matter how bad your heart has been broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. The sun comes right back up the next day.不管你有多痛苦，这个世界都不会为你停止转动。太阳依旧照样升起。
6、Accept what was and what is, and you’ll have more positive energy to pursue what will be.接受过去和现在的模样，才会有能量去追寻自己的未来。
7、Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.除非你能和真实的自己和平相处，否则你永远不会对已拥有的东西感到满足。
8、If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it. Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.要想射中靶，必须瞄准比靶略为高些，因为脱弦之箭都受到地心引力的影响。
9、If you wish to succeed, you should use persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry.如果你希望成功，当以恒心为良友、以经验为参谋、以谨慎为兄弟、以希望为哨兵。
10、I’ll think of you every step of the way.我会想你，在漫漫长路的每一步。
经典幽默英语段子精选3：
1、all things are difficult before they are easy. 凡事先难后易。
2、within you i lose myself, without you i find myself wanting to be lost again.有了你，我迷失了自我。失去你，我多么希望自己再度迷失。
3、first impression of you is most lasting.对你最初的印象，久久难以忘怀。
4、the more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget.the more you forget, the less you know. so why bother to learn.学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多, 忘记的越多,知道的越少, 为什么学来着!
5、the soul cannot live without love. 灵魂不能没有爱而存在。
6、you don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.你不会因为美丽去爱一个女人，但她却会因为你的爱而变得美丽。
7、atrue friend is some one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.一个真正的朋友是向你伸出手，触动你心灵的人。
8、 to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.对于世界而言，你是一个人;但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
9、Love understands love; it needs no talk.相爱的心息息相通，无需用言语倾诉。
10、may your love soar on the wings of a dove in flight. 愿你的爱乘着飞翔的白鸽，展翅高飞。
叶子青了
姚：How do you do, ladies and gentlemen. You are turning to the People Broadcast Station of Youngtime. Now we have a special progrem today. 周：哪能啥地方来外国代表团拉啊 姚：勿是，因为伲 搿档节目拉，有常时经常有得外国听众来听，有得外国观众看。 周：哦！现在迭额外国人也要看独脚戏啊 姚：哦哟，搭侬讲侬勿懂额，侬英文推板来兮。我英文有基础额呀。大约四十年之前，我勒英国迭额牛津大学毕业额。牛津大学么勒勒英国。About forty years ago, I would graduate from English College of The Oxford. 周：哦！牛筋大学啊？ 姚：牛津。 周：牛筋味道倒蛮好额哦，牛筋。 姚：哎。 周：别过就是侬牙齿吃得消伐？ 姚：诺，有常时吃起牛筋...关牛筋啥体拉？牛津大学。哎呦！侬勿懂额，侬勿懂额。我有得基础额呀。诺，侬随便啥侪好问问我额呀 周：哦，侬牛筋大学读书，读得成绩哪能拉啊？ 姚：我迭额辰光，牛津大学留学读书辰光，有得四额同学。搿是顶要好了，一额我，还有三额同学呢，一额宁波人，一额浦东人，一额山东人。 周：哦。 姚：搿么迭额，大家迭额学习下来呢，我成绩顶好。伊拉迭额发音勿准。 周：哦，搿么好额，侬准额，迭额准足点讲眼来听听看。 姚：诺，准足点呢，因为我是上海人，准足点。Good morning Mr Wang. Good morning Mr Tang. How do you do? Fine thanks. How you make now? Well, well, not so bad. Where are you going? Well, I'm going to our factory. Oh it is eight o'clock now and I wanna be in a hurry. So long, bye bye. 准足伐？ 周：准足，准足。读音倒是比较准足额。 姚：哎，到底是牛津大学，吃惯牛筋...勿关牛筋啥事体。 周：勿容易额。哎，搿么迭额浦东人倒讲讲看呢？ 姚：搿么我伊额同学浦东人讲英文，比较差一眼。Good morning Mr Wang GeLi, Good morning Mr Tang Ge Li. 好末么大又大。I am very well. I saw your wife last night. Your wife 迭只番司无啥话头哉。哦哟，very beautiful. 周：哪能人会得下来额拉啊？ 姚：失去重心了呀。迭额是浦东人讲。 周：搿么宁波人呢？ 姚：宁波人讲英文蛮好听额。Good morning Mr Wang, Good morning Mr Tang。蟹大又大。I am very good. Where are you going. I am going to 小毛头。搿是宁波English：（唱）来叫康姆(come)去叫狗(go)！ 周：隆冬隆得隆得隆得隆地冬 姚：一块洋钿么温道罗(one dollar)！廿四额铜钿么小店佛(twenty-four)。大大轮船史汀婆(steam boat)，阴三谢堂(inside sit down)么里向...坐。 周：仓仓其仓其仓其仓...璞！ 姚：璞，啥体拉？ 周：诺，一只铜鼓敲穿了。 姚：哦哟。 周：哪能唱宁波台簧（甬剧）勒拉阿？ 姚：诺，迭额宁波人讲英语。 周：搿么山东人呢？ 姚：山东人讲英语,蛮好听额。Good morning Mr Wang, Good morning Mr Tang。好多又多。I am very well.嘿，Where are you going? I am going to...（姚慕双撩起袖子状，周柏春吞宝剑状） 姚：啥体啊？侬？ 周：哪能变卖拳头勒拉，啊？ 姚：哎，我也弄勿懂呀，侬勒旁边啥体啊，侬？ 周：搿我想侬搿样子一来么，我吞宝剑了呀。 姚：啊！ 周：搿力道倒是结棍额。 姚：嘿嘿，所以我英文有基础额，侬勿懂侬侪好问我额。真额呀，到底是牛津大学毕业。 周：呵呵，哦搿么我要请教一下，迭额，英文迭额字母是廿六额。 姚：哎 周：迭额廿六额字母侬背得出伐？ 姚：迭额么，我从小背得出额，迭额有啥希奇呢 周：好，搿么听听看。 姚：ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ 周：搿么，颠倒转来背背看。哎，倒过来！ 姚：没额！侬迭额，勿要开玩笑好伐。全世界没一个人啥额倒背额，外国人也背勿出。好了，好了，勿要打甏 周：搿么，阿要我来试试看，好伐？ 姚：请侬勿要出洋相。没额，背勿出额。 周：我来来看哦！迭额正背是ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ。 姚：迭额大家侪会额呀。 周：ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA。 姚：啊！哦哟！勿得了！ABCD变DCBA。哦哟！周老师啊.. 周：勿，勿。 姚：想勿到侬本事还要大。 周：勿....，一道研究研究。 姚：我是牛津大学毕业，侬大概是“牛开”大学毕业额啊？ 周：一道研究，一道研究。 姚：勿是，我今朝碰着顶头货了。哪能碰着额DCBA？ 周：搿么我来试试看，我想问问侬看，好伐？讨教讨教，请侬翻译翻译。 姚：乃我要当心点了。 周：侬听好噢。 姚：嗯，我洗耳恭听。 周：迭额，我们要为实现四化而努力奋斗。请侬翻翻看。 姚：We must work hard for the Four Modernization. 周：我们的朋友遍天下。 姚：We have friends all over the world. 周：我侪要问哦。 姚：哦。 周：迭额，今朝就是今天。 姚：哦。今朝叫today. t,o,d,a,y, today. 周：哦。今朝叫吐痰。 姚：yeah, today. 周：搿么今朝是礼拜六 姚：Today is Saturday. 周：哦。吐痰要杀脱头额。 姚：啊！ 周：搿没介结棍，吐痰么罚五角洋钿。 姚：喂！谢谢侬勿要搭我开玩笑。啥额今朝么吐痰要杀脱头额。今朝礼拜六么叫Today's Saturday. 周：哦。搿么今朝天气交关冷。 姚：Today is very cold. 周：今朝天气交关热。 姚：Today is very hot. 周：今朝天气勿冷勿热。 姚：就...哦，勿冷勿热。Today is very 温吞。 周：今朝天气，迭额天气啦，迭额...侬讲伊天好伐，太阳没额；侬讲伊落雨伐，落两三点勿落来。迭额天气，侬多坐一歇，倒有眼冷飕飕，侬动一动么，倒有眼热厚厚额。迭额天气啥天气，侬讲讲看。请侬翻译哦。 姚：恩呵...Today...Today is very 厚似... 厚似！ 周：侬迭额English very… 蹩脚。 姚：侬迭额人 very 促狭。 周：迭额，三轮车叫啥？ 姚：三轮车叫pedicab， 周：搿么电车 姚：电车叫tramcar 周：汽车 姚：汽车叫motorcar 周：迭额哪能侪有car字额拉？ 姚：car么是车子，c,a,r, car. motorcar就是汽车。 周：哦，车子叫car, 搿么装...装小菜额迭额车子呢？ 姚：小菜car。 周：搿么装香烟额呢？ 姚：香烟car。 周：搿么，搿车子勒跌下来呢？ 姚：叫“跌car”。 周：跌下来，一只面孔受伤了。 姚：迭额叫伤面car（双面咔）。 周：倒蛮大额，做中山装倒蛮牢额。 周：头浪向戴额帽子叫啥？ 姚：叫hat, h,a,t, hat 周：鸭舌头帽子？就是鸭舌（普通话） 姚：鸭舌头帽，叫“冲出来hat”。 周：小滴头帽子 姚：叫西瓜皮hat。 周：帽子戴勒眼睛浪? 姚：hat侬眼睛.(瞎脱侬眼睛)。帽子戴勒眼睛浪，有啊？ 周：身浪向着额衣裳，衣裳叫啥？ 姚：衣裳叫clothes 周：上装？ 姚：叫coat 周：大衣？ 姚：大衣叫overcoat 周：雨衣？ 姚：叫raincoat 周：牛仔裤？ 姚：牛仔裤，叫cowboy裤. 周：迭“裤”也叫“裤”啊？ 姚：迭额一眼眼么，带带过拉倒了。 周：搿么，游泳裤 姚：叫swimming裤 周：喇叭裤。 姚：叫“咪哩嘛啦”裤。 周：哎，喇叭裤叫“咪哩嘛啦”裤啊？哎，我碰着侬有得苦额！（苦笑状） 周：脚浪向着额鞋子。 姚：鞋子叫shoe 周：皮鞋？ 姚：leather shoe 周：黄皮鞋 姚：黄皮鞋么叫brown shoe 周：黑皮鞋 姚：叫black shoe 周：黑额镂空皮鞋 姚：叫black 洞洞眼shoe 周：哎，迭额风凉鞋子侪有洞洞眼额。 姚：风凉也蛮风凉。 周：搿么老虎？动物园里额老虎 姚：老虎叫tiger 周：狮子 姚：叫lion 周：狼 姚：叫wolf 周：狐狸 姚：叫fox 周：鸡，是雄鸡 姚：雄鸡叫cock 周：雌鸡 姚：叫han 周：小鸡．．．小鸡 姚：小鸡叫chicken，c,h,i,c,k,e,n,chicken。chicken，侬当我翻勿出，是伐？chicken。 周：黄鳝 姚： ．．．外国人勿吃黄鳝额。 周：搿啥闲话呢？外国代表团到上海来，人家请伊吃黄鳝，也有额。叫鳝鱼（普通话）。 姚：黄鳝．．．黄鳝叫near vo what. 周：啥．．啥物事？哎，哎，侬讲了清爽点。 姚：我勒讲外国闲话。 周：黄鳝 姚：near vo what. 周：哎，请侬讲慢一眼，好伐？ 姚：捏勿牢滑脱！！ 周：哦，黄鳝叫迭额near vo what（捏勿牢滑脱）。 姚：near vo what 周：搿是乌龟头叫“摸上去缩脱”。 姚：yes 周：搿么橘子叫啥？ 姚：橘子叫orange 周：香蕉 姚：叫banana 周：苹果 姚：叫apple 周：樱桃 姚：cherry 周：杨梅 姚：strawberry 周：糖炒栗子 姚：…糖炒栗子叫brokochi（拨了壳吃） 周：叫brokochi（拨了壳吃）? 姚：brokochi（拨了壳吃） 周：搿是烘山芋？ 姚：叫brobeach（拨了皮吃） 周：搿么橘子哪能吃法额？ 姚：搭侬讲过来，橘子叫orange 周：橘子哪能吃法额？ 姚：哪能吃法？叫“拨了皮，吐了核，一馕一馕吃”。 周：搿糖炒栗子、烘山芋、橘子一道吃 姚、周：叫brokochi（拨了壳吃）、brobeach（拨了皮吃）、“拨了皮，吐了核，一馕一馕吃”。
单曲5678
1.Neighbor: You say your son is only four, and he can spell his name backwards as well as forwards? What is his name?Proud Father: Otto.邻居问:你说你的儿子只有四岁,他就可以顺着或是倒着拼写自己的名字? 他叫什么名字?骄傲的父亲说:Otto.2.Father: Look at all these bills! Taxes, rent, telephone, clothes, food. The cost of everything is going up everywhere. I’d be happy if just one thing went down. Son: Dad, here’s my report card.看看这些帐单! 税啊,房租啊,电话单,吃的穿的.什么都往上涨.能有一样是往下掉的我就笑了.儿子: 老爸, 给,我的成绩单.3. Son: I got a hundred in school today. Father: That’s wonderful, Billy. What did you get a hundred in? Son: Two things: I got 50 in spelling and 50 in arithmetic.儿子: 我今天在学校得了一百分了.父亲:太好了,贝利.你是考什么得了一百分?儿子: 单词拼写和算数各得五十.
天龙过江
你看看这个行吗？Alexander the Great (One) Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation, and the doctor, somewhat nettled, said:"Landon, you don’t seem getting on very fast in this subject.You seem to lack ambition. Why, at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world." "Yes," said Landon,"he couldnot help it, for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher .译文: 亚历山大大帝 兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。老师有点不悦，对他说道：“兰登，你在这门课上好像进步不大，你好像缺乏志向。亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界。” “是啊，”兰登说，“他没法不那样。博士先生，您回想一下史实，亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师。”Seven Dogs (Two) Teacher: Now Thomas, what do five and one make? (No answer) Suppose I gave you five dogs and then anoher dog, how many dogs would you have. Thomas: Seven. Teacher: Seven? Why would you have seven? Thomas: Because I ve got a dog of my own at home.译文： 七只狗 老师：现在，汤玛斯，五加一等于多少？（没有回答）假设我给你五只狗，再给你另一只，你就有几只狗了？ 汤玛斯：七只。 老师：七只？怎么会有七只？ 汤玛斯：因为我家里自己也有一只狗。 My Children s Father (Three) A young teacher tried hard to meet and know the fathers and mothers of all her pupils. One day a man sat opposite her on a bus. She was sure that he was one of the fathers she had met.She smiled at him. She was surprised when he said, without a smile, "I don’t think I know you,young lady." She had made a mistake, and she quickly tried to explain. "Oh, I am very sorry. I was sure you were the father of one of my children."译文： 孩子的父亲 一位年轻的女老师很努力地试着去接触和认识她所有学生的父母。有一天在公共汽车上，她的正对面坐着位男士。她确信他是她认识的学生家长之一。她对他微笑，他却很惊讶于他毫无笑容的回答：“我想我不认识你，年轻女士。” 她知道她弄错了，然后马上想要解释。 “哦，真对不起。我以为你是我其中一个孩子的父亲。” I Am The Ninth Letter (Four) Teacher: Ann, give me a sentence starting with "I". Ann: "I is …" Teacher: No, Ann. You must always say "I am" Ann: Oh, right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."译文： 我是第九个字母(Five) 老师：安娜，给我个以I开头的句子。 安娜： “I is …” 老师： 不对，安，你应该说“I am”。 安娜：哦，对。“I am the ninth letter of the phabet.”（我是英文字母的第九个字母。） What Time Is It(Six) The two boys were camping in the backyard. When they couldn t figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud." "How will that help?" said the second boy. "Just do it," insisted the first. Both boys broke into song, singing at the top of their lungs. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted, "Keep it down! Don t you know it s three o clock in the morning?"译文： 现在几点了？ 两个男孩子在后院露营，他们不知道到了晚上几点钟。于是，一个男孩对另外一个说：“我们开始大声唱歌就行了。” “那就会知道时间吗？”第二个男孩问。 “只管唱吧。”第一个坚持道。 两个孩子开始大声唱歌，过了一会儿，一个邻居打开窗户喊道：“小声点！你们不知道现在是凌晨三点吗？”这种东西百度很多的，其实很多时候自己轻松的就能找到 要用好百度这个工具再给你推荐一个好的网站！
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