英语口语剧本5人

五人英语话剧剧本-The Silber Swindle5人 Actors: Tavern Keepe:(男主角)Young ManKeeper's Wife(女主角)Young ManOld ManSummary: Once upon a time, there was a tavern. Travelers and hunters would exchange silver ingots for copper coins and eat some food there. The tavern keeper and his wife were very greedy. They always played tricks on the scales and cheated their customers. One day they played a trick on an old man as usuaL They were so happy. They thought they made a big fortune. Th their surprise, a young man in the tavern began snickering. "It looks like you've been cheated this time." He told them that the silver ingots had lead in them. The old man was a con artist in fake silver for years. How could it be this way? A smart money changer ilke the tavern keeper was outwitted by an old man! Narrator: Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. Today I will tell you a story. Once upon a time somewhere at the foot of the Changpai mountain, there was a tavern at which travelers and hunters exchanged money to be used inside and outside the small town. Most people knew that the keeper of the tavern and his wife were very greedy. They cheated people by playing tricks on the scales and even charged additional fees for no reasons. One day~ Scene I (Customers are talking, laughing and drinking in the tavern. A traveler just comes in, finds a seat and sits down.) Hunter 1: We hunted many animals today. (laughing) Let's have some more drink. Hunter 2: Yeahl That's a good idea. Hunter 1: Let's eat. Waiter: (sees the traveler come in) Welcome in, sir. What would you like to order? We have good food here and, of course, good wine, too. Traveler 1: Bring me your best dishes! Waiter: That's nice, sir. Your food will be here soon. Traveler 2: (walks to the checkout counter) Hey! How much should I pay? T.O.: It's ten for food, five for wine, and three for the service. It's all cost eighteen coins. Traveler 2: What! It's too expensive. You rip me off. T.K.: If you want to eat free, you will get a misfortune. Traveler 2: (throws some coins on the counter reluctantly and marching out angrily) Don't expect I will come back again. (Meanwhile, an old man comes downstairs and orders some food before checking out.) O.M.: Excuse me. May I order now? T.K.: (walks from behind the counter) Hello! Mydearfriend.Youdidn'tpay me yesterday. It's fifty coins for lodging, thirty-five for food, and five coins for cleaning. O.M.: (surprisingly) What! I just stayed for one single night. And I have to pay so much money. It's ridiculous! T.K.: Don't you dare to stay in my tavern for free! (One of the two young men comes up to the old man.) Y.M.1: Calm down, you two. (to the old man respecifully) Uncle Wang, how are you recently? O.M.: Fine. And you? Y.M.1: Fine. Thank you. T.K.: (interrupts their greeting) Pay me first and take your time chatting. Y.M.1: (to the keeper) Please wait a minute.(turns to the old man)Your son has been doing business with me in Changchou. He wanted me to give you this letter and some silver ingots before I left Chavgchou. I did not expect to meet you here. (hands the old man a letter and a bundle of silver ingots) Please take this. O.M.: Thank you. Do you want to have a drink with me? Y.M.1: Oh, no. I can't. I have to leave here for another business. (The young man leaves hastily after giving the old man a big bundle of silver ingots.) O.M.: (to the tavern keeper) My son again gives me money as my living expenses. But, please read this letter for me since my eyesight is not as good as it used to be. I have money more than enough now. Could I trouble you to read this letter from my son? I will pay you ten more coins as tips. T.K.: Why do I have to read this letter for you? K.W.: (moving from behind the counter) There's nothing to argue about. (pulls the tavern keeper aside and whispers to her husband) We don't have any lose. T.K.: (tears open the letter reluctantly and read the letter) Dear Father, How are you recently? I am now in Changchou doing business. My wife is pregnant again. kids are all filial to us. They can recite some poems. I'm sorry that I can't travel with you. Afler doing business for three years, I made a big fortune. So here are 50 taels of silver for you. And I think its enough for you to live in comfort. I'll be home in two months. ~Nish you well.Your son O.M: (giving the bundle to the tavern keeper's wife) What a good son! Now take what I owe you and exchange the rest for coins, please. K.W.: (opens the bundle shockingly) Wait a moment! That's really a big future. T.K.: (to the old man) All right. You have money now. You can pay us. K.W.: Well. The silver you gave me is more than you need to pay. Ah..., let me see. (pretends to be weighing the silver ingots on the scales) Mmm.... They're exactly 50 taels. The current exchange rate for 50 taels is 5000 copper coins. You have to pay us 100 coins. So, here are 4000 and 900 coins you keep yourself. O.M.: That's what my son told me in the letter. So, good-bye now. K.W.: Waiter.Waiter. Show the gentleman to the door. (The old man takes the coins and leaves the tavern.) K.W.: You can't believe it. That 50 taels of silver weights 60. His son must have been too busy to check the weight. The old man didn't know they could exchange for 6000 copper coins. So we eamlO taels. T.K.: It's so great . We made a big fortune today. Y.M.2: (snikering and walking to the keeper)Are yousure about the silver cotent? You'd better check them again. T.K.: What did you mean by saying that? K.W.: (cuts open one of the ingots) My gosh I T.K.: Oh, God! We were cheated. I have to get back my money. Do you know where I can find him? Y.M.2.: (smiling and putting out his hand over) I know but... T.K.: No problem. Only if you tell me where to find him and I'll give you a tael of silver ingo Y.M. 2: A taels?... He is in a town. T.K.: Tell me more and I'll give you three taels. Y.M. 2: Three taels? He is in a village. T.K. : O.K. Five taels and no more. Y.M. 2: Five taels?... In the east of a village, there is a temple... T.K. : O.K., O.K. Ten taels and you tell me the exact place. Y.M. 2: That's a deal. Hunter 1: Let's go with him. K.W.: Waiter. Take the scale and go with them (Most of the customers go along.) Scene II (The tavern Keeper leaves his wife and went to the place the young man described. It's a wine shop. The old man is drinking wine there with lots of people.) T.K.: So, here you are. You, swindler. You cheated me and you dare to have fun here. O.M.: Oh, come on my friend. Have a dink with me. (The tavern Keeper pushes away the old man's hand.) T.K.: Don't talk so much. Return my money. O.M.: Did I cheat you? It was a mistake, my friend. T.K.: (angrily) Hmm~! You can't deny it! Those pieces of silver ingots you gave me are fake. They're with lead inside. O.M.: How do you know the silver ingots are mine. T.K.: Let me show to you. (The tavern Keeper puts the silver ingots on the scales.) O.M.: (showing the letter from his son to the others) You see. They weigh 60 taels of silver. What my son writes in this letter is 50 taels. Don't fool me. These are not the silver ingots I gave you. T.K.: I I this this... Onlookers: (grabs the tavern keeper and beat him hard) You are not honest. And you are trying to buff this poor old man. Let's throw him out. (Light dims out) Scene III (The tavern Keeper leaves the village wearily.) K.W.: (expecting his husband) Oh! My goodness! What happened to you? T.K.: Stop talking to me. Close the door. K.W.: What happened, my dear? T.K.: Just close the door. It's my decision. (The tavern Keeper utters the sentence dismally.) K.W. : I'm asking you what happened to you! Why are you so upset! T.K.: l... Do you believe it? I was made a fool of by the old man. K.W. : Oh oh ! My goodness! How could it be? Oh -'. T.K.: Now you can understand why I am so upset, K.W.: I am as angry and sad as you are? Why are you mad with me? T.K.: (shouts at his wife) Those two guys outwitted us. Just be quiet. K.W.: (dismally) You! You! (To the surprise of the couple, the old man appears in a smoke suddenly.) O.M.: Look at me closely and see who I am. T.K.: (surprisingly) How How come you are here? O.M.: Don't be afraid! You are in a dream. Tell you the truth. I am a god and both of the two young men are my sons.! came here to teach you a lesson. Don't deceive people any more, my friend! Do your business honestly. You will suffer from what you do if you don't stop cheating people. (Finishing his advice, the old man disappears in a smoke.) T.K.: I don't dare to deceive people any more. K.W.: Yes! Me too! Scene IV Traveler 4: May I get my bill? T.K.: Won't you stay longer? Don't you satisfy with our service? Traveler 4: No. No. Everything is great. T.K.: All right. Please wait a minuet and have some tea. It's all cost thirty coins. Traveler 4: It's cheap. Thank you very much. You are really a good man. So goodbye now. T.K.: Goodbye. Narrator: Ever after, the tavern keeper and his wife treated people with kindness. What's more, they even helped poor people in need.The End

帮你找了两个，看能不能帮上忙。(一）喜欢或不喜欢工作 A: Hi,Lily. What are you doing there? B: I am making a kite. C: Are you going to fly the kite? B: Yes, I like flying kites when it is sunny but windy like today. What about you , Kate? C: I don't really like flying kites. I prefer taking a walk in the hill. A: So do I. Let's take a trip to the West Hill this Saturday. C: That's great! Shall we have a picnic on the top of the hill, Tom? D: Isn't that interesting! Peter,You like picnics very much,don't you? E: Yes, you know me very well. Jimmy, I think you can go with us, too. Then you can fly your kite in the park at the top of the hill. B: Mm, that sounds nice! A: But what should we take there? Should we take some fruit? B: Yes, of course. My favourite food is fruit and I will take my favourite fruit---strawberries! Don't you think it is very delicious, Tom? A: But I think hamburgers are more delicious. C: Yes, I like hamburgers, too. Let's take some drinks with us, too. What drinks do you like, Peter? E: I always drink water . My mother says it is the most healthy drink.But I am afraid we must take a camera there. You know, it is very beautiful on the hill at this time of year and Jimmy likes to take photoes very much. D: Yeah! That sounds exciting. I will be the best photogragher for you all! But when and where shall we meet? A: Let's meet at my home. I can ask my father to take us there in his car. B: And Let's meet at 9:00 then. D: That's too late for a hike! B: But can Peter get up so early? He always likes to stay in bed till late in the morning,haha! （二）《Friends》剧本（第二季） 201 The One With Ross' New Girlfriend [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.] PHOEBE: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been? OPENING CREDITS202 [Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.] RACHEL: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.) ROSS: Rache! RACHEL: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.) ROSS: It was, it was great. Oh, what happened? RACHEL: What? ROSS: You're bleeding. RACHEL: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. I wanna hear everything! (Looks at Julie) ROSS: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel. RACHEL: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country. JULIE: (Loudly, proving she can speak English.) Thank you. I'm from New York. RACHEL: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.] CHANDLER: No way! MONICA: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross! PHOEBE: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge? JOEY: Um, this? PHOEBE: Yes. MONICA: Guys, you got your hair cut. CHANDLER: Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay. PHOEBE: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice. RACHEL: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp. CHANDLER: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs. RACHEL: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes! ROSS: That's all right, Rache, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up? JOEY: What up?! ROSS: Everyone, this is Julie. RACHEL: (out of breath) Julie. ALL: Ohh. (Happily) Hi! JULIE: Hi, but I'm not here, you haven't met me. I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don't have 20 hours of cab and plane on me. ROSS: And bus. JULIE: Oh my god. ROSS: The screaming guy? JULIE: And the spitting? ROSS: You gotta hear this story. JULIE: We're on this bus, that's easily 200 years old... ROSS: At least. JULIE: ...and this guy-- RACHEL: And the chicken poops in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about. MONICA: This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen? JULIE: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together. ROSS: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig. RACHEL: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick- you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? MONICA: It's an expression. ROSS: Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then we're gonna go see the baby. JULIE: And then we've gotta get some sleep. ROSS: Yeah, it's really 6:00 tomorrow night our time. CHANDLER: Well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised. (Ross and Julie exit) RACHEL: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.) [Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler enter.] ROSS: Hey, Rache, can I get some coffee? RACHEL: Yeah, sure. ROSS: Thank you. CHANDLER: Hey, Rache, can I get-- RACHEL: Did you talk to him? CHANDLER: Not yet. RACHEL: Then, no. (He goes to sit down next to Ross.) CHANDLER: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know. ROSS: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was? CHANDLER: God? ROSS: It was you, pal. CHANDLER: Well, maybe it was God, doing me. ROSS: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you. CHANDLER: Well, you owe me one, big guy. RACHEL: Here's your lemonade. ROSS: I didn't order lemonade. RACHEL: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that. ROSS: But-- RACHEL: Go go go go, come on! (to Chandler) So then, well, what did you find out? CHANDLER: He said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself without any outside help whatsoever. RACHEL: How is that the silver lining? CHANDLER: You have to really wanna see it. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching TV.] ROSS: Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym. [cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.] MONICA: Phoebes, you know what I'm thinking? PHOEBE: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it? MONICA: No, although now that's what I'm thinking. PHOEBE: All right, so what were you thinking? MONICA: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine? PHOEBE: Ohh! No. MONICA: Why not? PHOEBE: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak. MONICA: No you're not. PHOEBE: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings. (The phone rings.) JOEY: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.) ROSS: (on phone) Hello? Hi. CHANDLER: (entering) Hi. Anybody know a good tailor? JOEY: Needs some clothes altered? CHANDLER: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk. JOEY: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990? CHANDLER: You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance! ROSS: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either. RACHEL: She didn't hang up either! ROSS: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y-- RACHEL: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me. ROSS: Rachel! I'll just call her back. RACHEL: Okay! ROSS: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have. MONICA: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too. RACHEL: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. CHANDLER: Ok, I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning.] JOEY: You know, I think I was sixteen. MONICA: Please, just a little bit off the back. PHOEBE: I'm still on "no". RACHEL: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec? JOEY: No no no no no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again. PHOEBE: What's goin' on? RACHEL: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night. CHANDLER: What stupid thing did you do? PAOLO: Bon giorno tutti! PHOEBE: Ewww! COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Monica and Rachel's continued from earlier.] RACHEL: Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. MONICA: Rachel, how did this happen? RACHEL: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night. PHOEBE: Where? RACHEL: At his apartment. Is this juice? JOEY: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe? RACHEL: Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser. MONICA: Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad. CHANDLER: People do stupid things when they're upset. MONICA: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't--but this is about your horrible mistake. ROSS: Hi. Sorry we're late but we were--well, there was touching. PAOLO: Hey, hey Ross. ROSS: Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here? PAOLO: I do Raquel. ROSS: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back. RACHEL: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem? ROSS: No, not a problem. RACHEL: Good! I'm glad it's not a problem. PHOEBE: Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass. CHANDLER: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered. JOEY: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means. CHANDLER: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code? MONICA: You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter. PHOEBE: All right. Ok, but, but you have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it. MONICA: I promise. PHOEBE: All right. Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing. [Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut.] PHOEBE: All right, that's it, I quit. MONICA: What? I didn't say anything. PHOEBE: Yeah, but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person. MONICA: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed. PHOEBE: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it. MONICA: How who wears it? PHOEBE: Demi Moore. MONICA: Demi Moore is not a he. PHOEBE: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten. MONICA: That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore. PHOEBE: Oh, oh, oh my god! MONICA: Oh my god! PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore? MONICA: She's the actress who was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost. PHOEBE: Oh, she's got gorgeous hair. MONICA: I KNOW! [Scene: Frank's tailor shop, Chandler is getting his pants altered.] FRANKIE: How long do you want the cuffs? CHANDLER: At least as long as I have the pants. FRANKIE: I just got that. Ok, now we'll do your inseam. (He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.] RACHEL: How is she? PHOEBE: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign. ROSS: How's the hair? PHOEBE: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. JOEY: Can we see her? PHOEBE: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, you come on in. (They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.) JOEY: How're you doing? RACHEL: I'm ok. JOEY: Ooh, that bad, huh? Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts. RACHEL: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me. JOEY: You gotta tell Ross how you feel. RACHEL: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie? JOEY: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years. RACHEL: I don't know, I don't know. JOEY: Look, Rache, Rache, I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you. CHANDLER: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man! JOEY: Frankie? What're you talking about? ROSS: (entering from teh bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? CHANDLER: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me. ROSS: What? JOEY: No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years. CHANDLER: He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite-- ROSS: what? CHANDLER: Cupping. JOEY: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants? ROSS: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you? JOEY: What? That's not? Oh my god. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is now out and about.] MONICA: Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better. ROSS: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. MONICA: Thank you. My hair is very amused. CHANDLER: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true. PHOEBE: Thank you. ROSS: Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rache. RACHEL: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving? ROSS: Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by "bye!" RACHEL: Well, can I talk to you for a sec? ROSS: Okay. (goes out onto the balcony) JOEY: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test... CHANDLER: That's ok. [Out on the balcony] ROSS: What's goin' on? RACHEL: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all, what? (Ross laughs) ROSS: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot? RACHEL: No. No-no-no-no. ROSS: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. Was there a second of all? RACHEL: No, I think that was the whole all. [Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.] JOEY: I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants. CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.] JULIE: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andy McDowell's new haircut? PHOEBE: You wanna do it right now? JULIE: Great! (Julie leaves) PHOEBE: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andy McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right? RACHEL: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andy McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes. PHOEBE: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you. RACHEL: You're welcome. END