李小姐梦游记
英语长篇笑话故事（通用7篇）
故事是一种文体，它是通过叙述的方式讲一个带有寓意的事件，那你知道关于讲述“笑话故事”有哪些吗？下面是我为大家整理的英语长篇笑话故事，仅供参考，欢迎大家阅读。
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?
A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?"
The oldest son replied: "Father, Ill eat it all!"
The father then said: "Tomorrow Im going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"
The same son answered: "Father,Ill eat it all!"
The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"
The oldest son answered again: "Its always me, always me. Now its someone elses turn to volunteer!"
总是我
一位父亲对他的儿子们说：“你们的妈妈明天要烙一张馅饼，谁要吃呢?”
大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
父亲接着说：“明天我要杀一口猪，谁要吃呢?”
又是大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
父亲又说：“明天我们要耕地，谁想耕地呢?”
大儿子再次回答道：“总是我，总是我，这次还是让其他人来做吧。”
Good news: Two boys went out climbing trees.好消息：两名男童出去爬树。
Bad news: wone of them fell out.坏消息：其中有一人摔下来了。
Good news: There was a hammockbeneathhim.好消息：他下面有一个吊床。
Bad news: There was a rakebeside the hammock.坏消息：吊床旁边有一个耙子。
Good news: He missed the rake.好消息：他和耙子擦肩而过。
Bad news: He missed the hammock too !坏消息：他也和吊床擦肩而过！
The squad（班，小队） were having "visual training". One smart recruit（新兵，招募） was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so faraway（遥远的，恍惚的） that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly（迅速地） the recruit replied：
"Sixteen men and a sergeant（中士，军士） , sir."
"Right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"
"He's not doing any digging, sir."
班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。
“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。”
“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士？”
“他不干活，长官。”
不必再看眼科医生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.
我己经很多年没做眼睛检查了。我妻子总是催我去挂个号。她越是督我，我越是耽搁不去。最后，她替我挂了个号。
The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,
在我去见医生的前一天，我的.情绪特别好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱，还说她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“I'm canceling your appointment."
她说:“这回眼睛没问题了，那我现在就去把号退了。”
After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-west's dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.
我和丈夫约翰从内布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我们新认识的朋友们总为他们美丽的林荫大过引以为荣.他们嘲讽我们的中西部平原荒凉、贫瘩，连株枯树都没有。后来我父母从内布拉斯加的老家来看我们，我问他们对旅途的感受。
What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, there's nothing to see but trees."
我父亲抱怨着:“枯澡，乏味，一进入密西根，除了树什么都没有。”
The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she would take her eyes’ off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
小女孩坐在祖父的膝上读故事。她时不时的从书上转移视线抬起头来碰到他褶皱的脸。随后她摸摸自己的脸颊又回去摸摸祖父的。
Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"
最后她问：“爷爷，是上帝创造的你吗？”
"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
“是啊，甜心。”他回答道：“上帝很久前创造出了我。”
"Oh" she said, then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"
“喔。”她回答。接着又问道：“爷爷，上帝也创造了我吗？”
"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."
“是啊，当然了宝贝。”他向她保证：“上帝只是不久前创造的你。”
"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"
“喔。”她回答。又分别感受了两人的脸颊，边观察边说：“上帝的技术越来越好了，是不？”
紫晨郡主
编者按：《Alice in Wonderland》是一个英语长篇故事，讲述了主人公参加了一个疯狂的茶会的事情，最后主人公愉快地玩耍在花园中。
A mad tea-party
疯狂的茶会
讲述者
Hello! Alice is trying to find her way back to the beautiful garden she saw when she first arrived in Wonderland. On her way, she met the Cheshire-Cat in the woods, who told Alice about the March Hare and the Hatter. Alice found the March Hare and the Hatter, having a tea-party.
大家好!Alice正在寻找返回花园的路，一路上她遇到了森林里的柴郡猫，柴郡猫告诉她帽匠和疯兔的住址。Alice找到他俩的时候，他俩正在开茶会。
帽匠和疯兔
Would you like some tea? Tea? Yes please, and cake? One cake... two cakes? One lump or two?
你要不要喝点茶?茶?当然，蛋糕呢?一块…还是两块?
Alice
Curiouser and curiouser. They're having a tea-party. But where are all the guests?
越来越好奇!他们正在举办茶会，但是客人都在那儿呢?
讲述者
The Hatter and the March Hare were sitting at one end of a very long table,which had empty cups and plates all the way along it. But the only other guest was a mouse, who was sound asleep. Alice decided to join them.
帽匠和疯兔正坐在一张长桌子的尽头，沿着桌面摆着空杯空盘。唯一的客人是一只老鼠，他睡得正酣。Alice决定加入这场茶会。
帽匠和疯兔
No room here! I'm sorry, no room!
这儿没位置了!不好意思，没位置了!
Alice
There's plenty of room!
这明明还有很多空位!
讲述者
Alice sat down. The Hatter opened his eyes very wide.
Alice坐下之后，帽匠缓缓地睁开了眼睛。
帽匠
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
为什么一只乌鸦会看起来像一张写字台?
Alice
Ooh, good. Riddles! I love riddles!
哇!好棒!我喜欢猜谜语!
讲述者
The March Hare looked at Alice.
疯兔看着Alice。
疯兔
You mean you know the answer, don't you?
你是说你知道答案，对吗?
Alice
Yes, I do.
是的，我知道。
疯兔
Then you should say what you mean!
那你应该说出你的答案!
Alice
I do. At least, I mean what I say. That's the same thing, isn't it?
我会的，至少，我的意思是我会猜，会猜和猜对都可以，对吗?
帽匠
But why is a raven like a writing-desk? Have you guessed the answer yet?
为什么一只乌鸦会看起来像一张写字台?你猜出答案了吗?
Alice
No. I give up. What's the answer?
好吧!我放弃!谜底是什么?
帽匠
I don't know! Do you know?
我不知道!你知道吗?
疯兔
I don't know either!
我也不知道!
Alice
I think you should only ask riddles if you know the answer.
我觉得你们最好出那种知道谜底的谜语。
疯兔
Have some more tea.
再来点茶。
Alice
I haven't had any tea, have I? So I can't take more.
我还没有喝茶呢，对吗?所以我不能多吃。
帽匠
You mean you can't take less. It's very easy to take more than nothing.
你的意思是你不能吃太少，多吃总比不吃要简单。
讲述者
Alice got up and walked off without saying goodbye.
Alice站起身来，连再见都没说就直接离开了。
疯兔
More tea, Hatter?
再来点茶，帽匠?
帽匠
Don't mind if I do!
好的!
讲述者
The Hatter and the March Hare didn't seem to notice her leaving. Alice wentback into the woods. She looked back as she walked away. The Hatter and theMarch Hare were trying to put the mouse into the teapot.
帽匠和疯兔好像并没有注意到Alice离去，她又返回了森林，走远以后Alice还回头看了看，帽匠和疯兔正试图将老鼠塞进茶壶里。
帽匠和疯兔
Mousey mousey! In you go! Plop! Oh, he does wriggle so. More tea?
小老鼠呀小老鼠!扑通一声进茶壶!哇!他还在扭呢，要再来点茶吗?
Alice
I'll never go there again! That was the stupidest tea-party I've ever been toin all my life!
我再也不会到哪儿去了!从未见过如此愚蠢的茶会!
讲述者
Back in the woods, Alice saw a tree with a door in it.
回到森林里，Alice看到了一棵奇怪的树，上面有一扇门。
Alice
That's very curious! I wonder what could be behind a door in a tree...
真的太奇怪了!树上竟然有一扇门，门后面是什么呢?
讲述者
In Wonderland anything can be behind any door. Alice opened the door and there she was at the beginning of her adventures again – in the hall with the locked doors and the table with the little key on it.
在奇幻仙境中，门后面可能有任何东西。Alice小心翼翼地打开了门，她发现这正是她刚一开始掉落的地方——一间周围全是门的大厅，里面有张桌子，桌子上面放着一把小钥匙。
Alice
I remember that little door and the key! This time I know what to do! I'm finally going to get into the garden!
我记得这扇小门和这把钥匙!这一次我知道该怎么做了!我终于要进入花园里!
讲述者
Alice had learned a lot about growing and shrinking in Wonderland. She took the key off the table first… and then ate some of the mushroom she had taken from the caterpillar and put in her pocket. Soon she was small enough to unlock the door and go through it.
Alice已经对在奇幻仙境里经历的身体变化有所了解，这次她先拿到了桌上的钥匙…然后从口袋里掏出一点蘑菇，吃了下去，这是她从毛毛虫那里拿的，不一会儿她就变小了，然后顺利地打开门，进入了花园里。
Alice
Oh, it's so pretty here!
哇!这儿好漂亮啊!
讲述者
We'll leave Alice here for now, happy in the garden at last. Soon, she's going to meet the Queen and play croquet. Will she still be happy then? I'll tell you next time.
Alice终于可以在美丽的花园里玩耍了，我们先不要打扰她。不久之后，她还会遇到女王，并和她一起玩槌球。她还会这么开心吗?我们下集再讲。
公众号：英语故事课堂
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