比尼爱汤姆
英语笑话20字带翻译
英语笑话20字带翻译一：
A boy goes to the cinema. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out. He buys a second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys a third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out a third time and asks for another ticket. The ticket seller says to him, "Why are you buying all these? Are you meeting friends in the cinema all the time?" "No, I;m not doing that." The small man says, "But a big woman always stops me at the door and tears my tickets up."
英语笑话20字带翻译二：
It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it.'Hello, who's that?' she asked.'It's me--Peter.'Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny.'Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?' said Mary.'Can I speak to Johnny?''No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I've got to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming.'
英语笑话20字带翻译三：
The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集合，聚会) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of hisvoiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛), "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的`人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”
晶莹剔透0702
英语笑话带翻译3篇
笑话往往是指能引人发笑的`谈话或故事。作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。以下是我整理的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
How Did You Ever Get Here
你是怎样来的?
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”
One Side of the Case
一面之辞
A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。
"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。
"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.
“你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。
"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."
“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。
Early Shopper
采购过早
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。
