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1、 你爱国,敬业,有骨气。 2、 When twos company,threes the result! 3、 天上没有白馅饼,倒着白砖。 4、 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 5、 大哥,降低脸上的分辨率好吗? 6、 尽量和女朋友一起洗澡,省水。 7、 我有能力泡妞,可惜我是个妞。 8、 One should love animals. They are so tasty. 9、 理想就像内衣,但不能证明你有! 10、 Brother,you have to face the resolution is good? 11、 Did you find,those who hate you,looks very ugly. 12、 Money is not everything. Theres Mastercard Visa. 13、 Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours! 14、 两个人的状态不稳定,三个人才是! 15、 你有没有注意到讨厌你的人都很丑? 16、 工作很有趣!尤其是看别人的工作。 17、 毛爷爷说,不结婚的对象都是流氓。 18、 Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 19、 You look very Chinese,very dedicated,very backbone. 20、 Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. 21、 女人无才是德,我想我一定太缺德了。 22、 有些人靠实力,而我靠丰富的想象力。 23、 聪明人未婚,结婚的人很难再聪明了。 24、 钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡。 25、 Germany is the onlywoman,I think I must be too mean. 26、 One,two people,three person is to fight at outrance. 27、 Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk? 28、 God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 29、 I have a flirt with hot chicks ability,but he is a girl. 30、 Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 31、 我抽的不是烟,也不是孤独,而是二手烟! 32、 每个人都应该喜欢动物,因为它们很好吃。 33、 I do not smoke cigarettes,is not lonely,second-hand smoke! 34、 Life can not cook,all the materials are ready was the pot. 35、 再多的牛逼时光 也比不上一起**的岁月。 36、 Living half are bad luck,the other half is how to handle it. 37、 快乐的单身汉迟早会结婚,幸福不是永久的。 38、 男人情史丰富叫浪漫,女人情史丰富叫风骚。 39、 The wise never marry,And when they marry they become otherwise. 40、 现在的梦想决定了你的未来,所以再睡一会儿。 41、 In heaven there is no white out the pie,but white out the bricks. 42、 一个人快乐,两个人生活,三个人就是你死我活。 43、 努力工作不会导致死亡!但我不会用自己来证明。 44、 后座上的孩子会出事故,后座上的孩子会出事故。 45、 想多远,你就滚多远;光速有多快,你就滚多快。 46、 生活的一半是倒霉的,另一半是如何处理倒霉的。 47、 The man called the romantic love rich,rich in the coquettish woman. 48、 考试伤害了多少孩子,让多少诚实的孩子学会作弊。 49、 For beautiful eyes,on the line,and told myself,my wife than they were. 50、 More to their fucking great time also cannot compare with idiot years. 51、 Thinking of how far,how far you roll; light how fast,how fast you roll. 52、 国外:思想和才能是王道,国内:关系和马屁可以横行。 53、 自从会玩QQ之后发现拼音越来越好,读书也没有效果。 54、 There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 55、 我的原则是:人不犯我,我不犯人;人犯我,我就生死! 56、 Every man should marry. After all,happiness is not the only thing in life. 57、 Examination of people rely on strength,and I rely on the rich imagination. 58、 Grandpa Mao said,not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying. 59、 中国人有两个特点:一是不爱说实话;二是不爱听实话。 60、 对于美女来说,两眼就行了,转身告诉自己,我她们好。 61、 应该有更好的方法开始新的一天,而不是每天早上醒来。 62、 Examination and many children,so that the number of honest learned cheating. 63、 Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 64、 Abroad: Thought and ability is the key,the domestic: relationship and can run. 65、 Ideals are like the pants,have,but not everyone can go to prove that you have! 66、 生活不能像烹饪一样,所有的材料都准备好了才放进锅里。 67、 服饰就像铁丝网,它阻止你贸然行动,但不妨碍你尽情观看。 68、 上帝决定谁是你的亲戚。幸运的是,他给了你选择朋友的空间。 69、 上联:活着没有意义,下联:自杀没有勇气,横批:白走一次。 70、 A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 71、 每个成功男人背后都有一个女人。每个不成功男人背后都有两个。 72、 成功是一个相关的术语,它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。 73、 Chinese two big characteristics: one,dont love the truth; two,do not want to hear the truth. 74、 Behind every successful man,there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man,there are two. 75、 My principle is: the person does not make me,I do not prisoners; if the person make me,I will getangry! 76、 Since I will play QQ,I found my pinyin is getting better and better,the study did not have this effect. 77、 学的越多,知道的越多,知道的越多,忘记的越多,知道的越少,为什么要学? 78、 First scroll: Live meaningless,the second line of a couplet: Dutch actno courage,horizontal batch: white go back. 79、 爱情就像一张照片,需要大量的暗室时间来培养。(外国人也很保守,在黑暗中工作,哈哈) 80、 The more you learn,the more you know,The more you know,the more you forget.The more you forget,the less you know. So why bother to learn.

英语幽默语

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哇小妹夫

The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?

Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. <;强推>

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. <;强推这句>

Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk?

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

够暸吗?

1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.

钞票不是万能的,毕竟有时还需要信用卡。

2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.

每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.

要节约用水,所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。

4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.

要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。

5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.

每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个或更多。

6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。

7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..

聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

成功是一个相关名词,它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。

9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。

10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

爱情就像照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

老妈叫我翻译!!!(超强爆笑)

今天我正在看碟,老妈又捧了本书进来,说道:给我讲讲这几句话什么意思

老妈:这个“i don't know.“是什么意思?

我说:“我不知道”

老妈:送你上大学上了几年,你怎么什么都不知道!!

我说:不是!就是“我不知道”吗!

老妈:还嘴硬!!!!$@%!#$^&%#$%@$%@#$%!^%^!^%$^#&..(一顿爆揍)

老妈:你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧,给我说说。

我说:是“我知道“

老妈:知道就快说。

我说:就是“我知道“

老妈:找茬呀你?刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不?

我说:就是我知道呀!

老妈:知道你还不说!!不懂不要装懂!&*$%^@$#!%$@^%#*$^^^##$%(又一顿爆揍)

老妈:你给我小心点,花那么多钱送你上大学,搞的现在什么都不会,会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱,再问你最后一个,你给我好好解释一下,说不出来我在收拾你,你给我翻译一下“i know but i don't want to tell you.“是什么意思?

我晕倒,拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下,用头撞墙四十多下,双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下,用腿踢桌子角六十多下,血肉模糊之时,我问老妈:这下你满意吧

这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“

我:“我很烦,别烦我“

老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)

老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“

我说:“我没听清,再说一次“

老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“

“我没听清,再说一次“

结果被扁

老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“

我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁)

老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊'

我说:“查字典“

“查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)

老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“

我说:“你最好问别人“

“你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“

“啊!god save me !“

“上帝救救我吧!”

“耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)

我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“

我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“

“臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手

我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”

“嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”

what a bad day for me

what a pity

how terrible!!

I am in an ill humor.

我心情不好。

I'm in a bad mood

I'm in foul temper

I'm feeling rather blue

I"m in that low frame of mind.

I"m in a bad temper

lost,失落drowsy,心情低下

伤心

grief

grieve

hurt

smart from

teen

1) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

我爱你,不是因为你是一个怎样的人,而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。

2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

没有人值得你流泪,值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。

3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

失去某人,最糟糕的莫过于,他近在身旁,却犹如远在天边。

4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

纵然伤心,也不要愁眉不展,因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。

5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

对于世界而言,你是一个人;但是对于某个人,你是他的整个世界。

6) Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。

7) Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你,那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。

8) Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

不要着急,最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。

9) Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

在遇到梦中人之前,上天也许会安排我们先遇到别的人;在我们终于遇见心仪的人时,便应当心存感激。

10) Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

不要因为结束而哭泣,微笑吧,为你的曾经拥有。

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa. 钞票不是万能的,毕竟有时还需要信用卡。

One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水,所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。

Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。 Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more. 每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。

每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个或更多。 Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。

The wise never marry. 聪明人都是未婚的。 Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词,它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口,今天就要找好。 Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就像照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后座上的小孩会生出意外,后座上的意外会生出小孩。 "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep. 现在的梦想决定着你的将来,所以,还是再睡一会吧。

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新的一天,而不是千篇一律地在每个上午都醒来。 "Hard work never killed any body."But why take the risk? 努力工作不会导致死亡。

但为什么要冒险呢?。

1. Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you。

麻烦没来找你,就别去自找麻烦。 第一、四个trouble是动词,第二、三个trouble是名词。

2. I think that that that that that student wrote on the blackboard was wrong. 我认为那个学生写在黑板上的那个“that”是错误的。 第一个that是连词,引起宾语从句;第二、五个that是指示代词“那个”;第三个that在这儿相当于名词;第四个that是关系代词,引起定语从句。

3. I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know。 我知道。

你知道。我知道你知道。

我知道你知道我知道。 4. We must hang together, or we'll be hanged separately。

我们必须团结在一起,否则我们将被一个个绞死。 这是一句双关语。

前面的hang together是“团结一致”的意思,后面的hanged是“绞死”的意思。 5. The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog。

那只敏捷的棕色狐狸跳过了一只懒惰的狗。 这个句子包含了英语中的26个字母。

6. Was it a bar or a bat I saw? 我看到的是酒吧还是蝙蝠? 这是一句回文句,顺着读和倒着读是一样的。类似于“上海自来水来自海上。”

7. 上联: To China for china, China with china, dinner on china。 去中国买瓷器,中国有瓷器,吃饭靠瓷器。

下联:到前门买前门,前门没前门,后门有前门。 这是一副对仗工整、妙趣横生的英汉对联。

下联中的第二、四、五个“前门”指“大前门”香烟。 8. 2B or not 2B, that is a ? 这是一种文字简化游戏。

它的意思是:To be or not to be, that is a question. (生存还是毁灭,那是一个问题。) 9. He never saw a saw saw a saw。

他从来没见过一把锯子锯另一把锯子。 第一个saw是动词see的过去时,第二和第四个saw带有不定冠词"a"在前,是名词"锯子",第三个saw是动词"锯"。

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 纵然伤心,也不要愁眉不展,因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 对于世界而言,你是一个人;但是对于某个人,你是他的整个世界。Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 不要因为结束而哭泣,微笑吧,为你的曾经拥有。

Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.在你尝试了解他人和盼望他人了解你之前,先把你变成一个更好的人和了解自己的人。Atrue friend is some one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.一个真正的朋友是向你伸出手,触动你心灵的人。

I suddenly feel myself like a doll,acting all kinds of joys and sorrows.There are lots of shining siliery thread on my back,controlling all my action.我突然就觉得自己像个华丽的木偶,演尽了所有的悲欢离合,可是背上总是有无数闪亮的银色丝线,操纵 我的哪怕一举手一投足.I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you. 我爱你,不是因为你是一个怎样的人,而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. 没有人值得你流泪,值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. 失去某人,最糟糕的莫过于,他近在身旁,却犹如远在天边。Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你,那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。

Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 不要着急,最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。I love you not for whom you are, but who I am when I 'm by your side.我爱你并不是因为你是谁,而是因为我在你身边的时候我是谁。

No person deserves your tears, and who deserves them won't make you cry. 没有人值得你流泪,值得你流泪的人是不会让你哭的。Just because someone doesn't love you as you wish, it doesn't mean you're not loved with all his/her being. 只因为某人不如你所愿爱你,并不意味着你不被别人所爱。

A true friend is the one who holds your hand and touches your heart. 一个真正的朋友会握着你的手,触动你的心。The worst way to miss someone is to be seated by his/her side and know you'll never have him/her. 错过一个人最可怕的方式就是坐在他/她的身旁,你却知道永远都不会拥有他/她。

Don't spend time with someone who doesn't care spending it with you. 不要把时间花在一个不在乎与你一起分享的人身上。Maybe God wants you to meet many wrong people before you meet the right one,so when this happens ,you'll be thankful. 也许上帝让你在遇见那个合适的人之前遇见很多错误的人,所以,当这一切发生的时候,你应该心存感激。

Don't cry because it came to an end. Smile because it heppened. 不要因为它的结束而哭,应当因为它的发生而笑。There will always be people who'll hurt you, so you need to continue trusting,just be careful. 生活中总会有伤害你的人,所以你仍然需要继续相信别人,只是小心些而已。

Don't struggle so much,best things happen when not expected. 不要做太多的抗争,最好的东西总是发生在出乎意料的时候。Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡.One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃.Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡.Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道.Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人. 每个不成功男人的背后, 都有两个女人。

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛.The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来.Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系).Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口, 今天就要找好.Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外, 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩.Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. 现在的梦想决定着你的将来,所以还是再睡一会吧.There should be a better way to start a d。

When I was 12, I was just graduate from primary school。

The summer holiday was very long, and without homework。I felt dull and boring。

Absolutely, I knew the problem, no one can call back yesterday, and I mustn't waste time。 So I decided read books in summer holiday。

The first I read was Oliver Trwist and Jane Eyue。 I've never seen such interesting books in my life。

although I did't like reading before I enjoy it。 Now, I can't live without books。

Because a good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever。

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