秋风扫落叶
英语长篇笑话故事（通用7篇）
故事是一种文体，它是通过叙述的方式讲一个带有寓意的事件，那你知道关于讲述“笑话故事”有哪些吗？下面是我为大家整理的英语长篇笑话故事，仅供参考，欢迎大家阅读。
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?
A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?"
The oldest son replied: "Father, Ill eat it all!"
The father then said: "Tomorrow Im going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"
The same son answered: "Father,Ill eat it all!"
The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"
The oldest son answered again: "Its always me, always me. Now its someone elses turn to volunteer!"
总是我
一位父亲对他的儿子们说：“你们的妈妈明天要烙一张馅饼，谁要吃呢?”
大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
父亲接着说：“明天我要杀一口猪，谁要吃呢?”
又是大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”
父亲又说：“明天我们要耕地，谁想耕地呢?”
大儿子再次回答道：“总是我，总是我，这次还是让其他人来做吧。”
Good news: Two boys went out climbing trees.好消息：两名男童出去爬树。
Bad news: wone of them fell out.坏消息：其中有一人摔下来了。
Good news: There was a hammockbeneathhim.好消息：他下面有一个吊床。
Bad news: There was a rakebeside the hammock.坏消息：吊床旁边有一个耙子。
Good news: He missed the rake.好消息：他和耙子擦肩而过。
Bad news: He missed the hammock too !坏消息：他也和吊床擦肩而过！
The squad（班，小队） were having "visual training". One smart recruit（新兵，招募） was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so faraway（遥远的，恍惚的） that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly（迅速地） the recruit replied：
"Sixteen men and a sergeant（中士，军士） , sir."
"Right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"
"He's not doing any digging, sir."
班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪明伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。
“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。”
“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士？”
“他不干活，长官。”
不必再看眼科医生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.
我己经很多年没做眼睛检查了。我妻子总是催我去挂个号。她越是督我，我越是耽搁不去。最后，她替我挂了个号。
The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,
在我去见医生的前一天，我的.情绪特别好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱，还说她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“I'm canceling your appointment."
她说:“这回眼睛没问题了，那我现在就去把号退了。”
After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-west's dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.
我和丈夫约翰从内布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我们新认识的朋友们总为他们美丽的林荫大过引以为荣.他们嘲讽我们的中西部平原荒凉、贫瘩，连株枯树都没有。后来我父母从内布拉斯加的老家来看我们，我问他们对旅途的感受。
What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, there's nothing to see but trees."
我父亲抱怨着:“枯澡，乏味，一进入密西根，除了树什么都没有。”
The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she would take her eyes’ off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
小女孩坐在祖父的膝上读故事。她时不时的从书上转移视线抬起头来碰到他褶皱的脸。随后她摸摸自己的脸颊又回去摸摸祖父的。
Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"
最后她问：“爷爷，是上帝创造的你吗？”
"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
“是啊，甜心。”他回答道：“上帝很久前创造出了我。”
"Oh" she said, then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"
“喔。”她回答。接着又问道：“爷爷，上帝也创造了我吗？”
"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."
“是啊，当然了宝贝。”他向她保证：“上帝只是不久前创造的你。”
"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"
“喔。”她回答。又分别感受了两人的脸颊，边观察边说：“上帝的技术越来越好了，是不？”
我就是小J
很多高中生都会有需要用到英语励志故事的时候，那么高中英语励志故事都有哪些呢?一起来看看吧。
The plum tree sacrifices itself for the peach tree-Sacrifice oneself for another person
This idiom comes from a old folk song. the last two stanzas go like this:
One family has five brothers, all serving to a minister as attendants. Every five days, they go back home for a reunion, decorating their horses and garments with shining gold. They vie with each other for ostentation and extravagance, attracting crowds of onlookers along the road.
Now there is a peach tree by a well, and a plum tree next to it. When worms come to gnaw at the root of the peach tree, the plum tree invites them to gnaw at its own root. Finally, the plum dies, ossified.
Even trees know how to sacrifice for other trees, why can't brothers do the same?
李代桃僵
这个成语来自于一首古老的民歌。 歌曲的最后两段说的是：
一户人家有兄弟五人，都在一个大官的家中做仆人。每隔五天，他们会回家团聚一次。他们用金子装饰马匹和衣服，吸引了许多路人来看。五人互不相让，相互比较谁的排场大。
如今一口井边有一棵桃树，桃树旁是一棵李树。有虫子来咬桃树的根，李树便让虫子来咬自己的根。最终，李树变得僵硬，枯死了。
连树都知道为了别的树牺牲自己，为什么兄弟之间反而做不到呢?
Give up halfway
During the Warring States Period (475-221BC), there was a man called Yue Yangzi in State Yue. One day he saw a piece of gold on the road and picked it up. He took it home and gave it to his wife. But his wife was not happy. The virtuous woman said, "I hear that a man of morality doesn't drink a thief's water and a man of probity refuses to accept alms. What do you think of the action of picking up another's lost valuable and possessing it for one's own?"
Yue Yangzi, feeling ashamed, sent the gold back to where he found it.
the next year, Yue Yangzi felt that he should go out and visit scholars to enrich his knowledge. So he set off.
A year later, he came back home suddenly.
"Why have you returned?" asked his wife in surprise, "You've only spent one year studying with scholars."
"I come back because I missed you very much."
Without saying anything, his wife took a pair of scissors and went to the loom at which she had worked. Pointing at the half done brocade, she proclaimed : "This brocade is woven from the finest silk. I wove one strand after another to produce the brocade. Now if I cut it, all my previous work will be wasted. It's the same with your studies. You can acquire knowledge only through diligence. Now, you've stopped halfway. Isn't it the same as cutting the brocade on the loom?"
Yue Yangzi was moved by what she said. He again left home to visit scholars. Several years later he became a learned man.
半途而废
战国时期，魏国有个叫乐羊子的人。有一天，乐羊子在路上看到一块金子，他就捡起金子，带回了家并把它拿给妻子看。可他妻子一点儿也不高兴。这个贤惠的女人对他说："我听人说'壮士不饮盗泉之水;廉洁的人不食嗟来之食'。把别人遗失的贵重之物捡起来据为己有，你怎么看待这种行为呢?"
乐羊子听了妻子的话，觉得很惭愧，就把那块金子又扔到原来的地方。
第二年，乐羊子离开家到了一个很远的地方，去拜师求学。
一年后，乐羊子突然回到家中，他的妻子很惊讶地问："你怎么回来了?你才和那些学者学了一年呀。"乐羊子说："我太想你了，所以回来看看。"
他的妻子听了以后，二话不说，拿起把剪刀走到她的织布机前。她指着那块已经完成了一半的锦缎说："这块锦缎用的是最好的丝。我一丝丝的累积来织成这锦缎。如果我现在把它剪断，就等于前功尽弃。你求学也是这样。如果现在停止，和剪断织布机上的锦缎有什么区别?"
乐羊子被妻子的话所感动，于是立刻离开家，继续拜师求学。
几年后，乐羊子终于完成学业，成为一个博学的人。
Be there just to make up the number
During the Warring States Period (475-221BC), the King of the State of Qi was very fond of listening to yu ensembles. He often got together 300 yu players to form a grand music. The king treated his musician very well. A man named Nanguo heard about that and he managed to become a member of the band, even though he wan not good at playing the instrument at all. Whenever the band played for the king, Nanguo just stood in the line and pretended to play. Nobody realized he was making no sound at all. As a result, he enjoyed his treatment just as the other musician did. When the king died, his son became the new ruler who also liked the music played on the yu. However, he preferred solos so that he ordered the musicians to play the yu one by one. Therefore, Nanguo had to run out of the palace.
the idiom "Be there just to make up the number" is used to mock someone who passes for a specialist. You can also hear people saying it about themselves to show their modesty.
滥竽充数
战国时，齐宣王喜欢听竽，通常是三百人的大合奏。因为他给予乐师非常优厚的待遇，所以一个叫南郭的人尽管并不擅长吹竽，也设法混进乐队。当乐队演奏时，他就站在队伍里假装也在吹。没有人注意到其实他连一点声音也没吹出来，所以南郭也享受到和其他乐师一样的待遇。宣王死后，他的儿子继承了王位。他也喜欢听竽，可是他喜欢听独奏，让乐师一个个吹给他听，于是南郭不得不逃跑了。
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