英语小笑话儿童

六一国际儿童节笑话英文 考试之前老师和学生的对白 Everybody！Examination is coming tomorrow！同学们，明天就要考试了！ Test paper is locked in my drawer！Review your lessons carefully after going back home！试卷就在我抽屉里锁着，回家要好好复习功课！ Any question？谁还有什么问题？ Yes！Where is the key of the drawer？有！您抽屉的钥匙在哪儿？============〃If I sold my house and my car，had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor，would I get into heaven？〃I asked the children in my Sunday school class.〃No！〃the children all answered.〃If I cleaned the church everyday，mowed the yard，and kept everything nea tand tidy，would I get into heaven？〃Again，the answer was，〃No！〃〃Well，〃I continued，〃then how can I get into heaven？〃A five-year-old boy shouted out，〃You gotta be dead！〃“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖，并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗？”我问主日学校(教堂在周日开设的儿童宗教班级)的孩子。孩子们齐声回答：“不能！”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗？”回答还是：“不能！”“好吧，”我继续问，“那我要怎样才能升天堂呢？”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行！”===============1：某次英文考试有两道题目：1）我穿上外套，却发现第一个扣子掉了。2）他听见电话铃响，就过去接了电话。正确答案应为：1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.但是某生的答案是：1）Shit!2）Hello?2：老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money. 并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?老师说：Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!3：某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我他妈还是方片七呢！江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道：“Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful.“翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文：“Where? Where?外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底：“Everywhere,everywhere.“翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文：“You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see.“4：话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」5：一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“SAY ‘I LOVE YOU!!’SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!” 男的答道：“IT!”6：一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转。他不放心的问道:turn left？监考官回答: right. 于是他立刻向右转……7：某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.8：某男，亦粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是：Sex，该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week”。签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.”该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female”，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?”男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.9：上初一的时候，英语老师让我们读课文，恰好是一段对话，于是叫了一男一女两个同学来读。男：What time is it now?女：It’s nine.男：Let’s go to bed.女：We go to bed at nine.全班绝倒。10：一次为一个初中小孩搞家教，在其英语课本上发现如下恐怖字眼：爸死（bus）爷死( yes )哥死（girls）妹死（Mis）……死光（school）转百度

英语笑话小对话

Where is the egg?

Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?

Student:In the cake,Sir.

鸡蛋在哪里?

老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗?

学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。

老师：“鸡蛋”在哪?

学生：在蛋糕里，先生

Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.

Man:He is really somebody.What does do?

Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery

他真是一个大人物

小孩：我叔叔下面有1000个人。

男人：他真是一个大人物。他是干什么的?

小孩：墓地守墓人。

Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.

史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇.

服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的.

A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate.

Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have

a crush on someone else in the class, when they’re eight

or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-old

kid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it

expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son,

it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it

cost?” And the father said, “I don’t know, son. I’m still paying.”

有个小孩爱上了另一个小孩，对方是学校的.同学。八岁或十岁左右的孩子有时会迷恋班上某个人，然后就以为自己恋爱了。因此这个八岁的小孩回家问他爸爸：「爸爸，结婚很花钱吗?」爸爸说：「是啊，儿子，非常花钱。」儿子又问：「要花多少钱呢?」爸爸说：「我不知道，儿子，我到现在还一直在付钱啊!」

英语小笑话小学

笑话会给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点，那大家知道有哪些笑话呢？本文是我为大家收集整理的英语小笑话小学，欢迎参考借鉴。

英语小笑话小学一

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go Slow" .

老师：汤姆，你为什么每天上学迟到？

汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：“学校——慢行”。

英语小笑话小学二

A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" .

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。他问："主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又问："那一百万年呢?"上帝说："一秒钟"，最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答："过一秒钟"。

英语小笑话小学三

Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.

When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”

“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”

妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的'火柴。

汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”

“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”

英语小笑话小学四

Father: Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

Susie: That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!

父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。

苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。