英语口小幽默

下面是我整理的英语幽默小对话，欢迎大家阅读!

英语幽默小对话1：

One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.

Girl: Father, I have sinned.

Preacher: What did you do, little girl?

Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.

Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?

Girl: He touched my breast.

Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)

Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.

Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.

Girl: But he also took off my cloth.

Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)

Girl: Yes, that's what he did.

Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.

Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...

Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)

Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...

Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...

Girl: But he had AIDS!!

Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!

英语幽默小对话2：

A: You really like my stupid jokes?

B: Yes, they just tear me up! You have such a dry sense of humor and you keep such a straight face that it takes minutes for the joke to dawn on me.

A: Yes, well such jokes aren’t funny if the wisecracker laughs. My father was a great jokester. It sometimes took hours for me and my brother to get the joke.

A: 你真的喜欢我讲的这些愚蠢的笑话吗?

B: 是的，它们都快让我肚皮笑破了!你还真能装，板着个脸，我是过了一会儿才领悟你的笑话的。

A: 讲俏皮话的人自己先笑了，就没意思了。我爸可会讲笑话了，有的时候我和我哥得花上半天功夫才能明白过来。

英语幽默小对话3：

男: This seat empty?(这个座位是空的吧?)

女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。)【我立马走人】

男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)

女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)【我不想和你有任何交集】

男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)

女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】

男：Can I have your name?(我能知道你的名字吗?)

女：Why? Don''t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)

男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)【长的真丑】

男：I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)

女：Why? Are you leaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】

我这有几个英语小笑话： 校园幽默四则1.Two BirdsTeacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.Teacher: Please tell us.广告小孩英语差怎么办VIPKID专注4-15岁青少儿英语在线教学查看详情mobile.vipkid.com.cn Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.两只鸟老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。2.The Fish Net"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?""A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.鱼网"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。3.The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she saidthat two and four were six too....."广告视频学英语口语_纯外教一对一_25分钟轻松学英语查看详情本地金牌商家 新老师9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"4.A physics ExaminationOnce in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmateswere thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, thenhear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.一次物理考试在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。