奇奇怪怪的lemon
英语话剧剧本The Bus
A Story about Love and Stinky Feet
5-6人英语剧本，公交车上的故事，适合大学生活，关于爱和臭脚的故事。
Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-rui
Boy B,Old woman,
Scene One
(Three female students are chatting on a bus. Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof. Two boys are sleeping in their seats. Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on. She looks at the seats. Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.)
Old woman: There're no empty seats. I guess I'll have to stand.
(The female students find the old woman not having a seat. They want to help her find one to sit in.)
Female student A: We should find a seat for her.
Female student B: Right. Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her.
(The two boys continue to sleep.)
Female student C: We should find a seat for her.
Female students A & B: Yes.
(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)
Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady?
(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep. Female students A and B look at each other. Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.)
Female Student B: Hey! Can you give your seat to that old lady?
Boy A: (wakes up) I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album. I'm very tired. I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady. (continues to sleep)
Female student C: What should we do?
Female student B: Let's ask the other boy.
Boy B: (gets up suddenly) Ah!
All: (startled)Ah!
Female student B: What happened?
Female student C: Why did you scream?
Boy B: I had a nightmare. It was terrible.
Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady?
(Boy B falls asleep.)
Female student A: Hello! Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady?
Boy B: Let me sleep, please. I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep. Can you let me sleep for a while?
Female student A: Well, we've tried.
Female student B: The young man is really brash.
Old woman: Thank you, young ladies! I'm OK! Don't think I'm an old woman. I am healthy. (makes a few kicks like a young man)
Female student C: Maybe we worry too much. The old lady's very healthy.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over. It makes Boy A wake up.)
Boy A: Oh! Are you OK?
Old woman: Oh! Oh! My waist!
Boy A: You can take my seat. (helps the old woman to the seat)
Female student C: Hmm. He just got his conscience.
Female student A: Yeah! I was just about to say they got no manners.
Female student B: Yeah. I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.
Boy A: Hey! Watch your own manners. I've given her my seat. I'm really very tired.
(At this time Boy B is embarrassed. He dares not continue to sleep.)
Old woman: Thank you, young man. I'm old and useless.
Boy B: Don't say that. If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A falls down.)
Scene Two
(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats. Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing. The three girls continue to chat. Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student A's body.)
Female student A: Oh! Who touched me? (turns her head around and sees
Boy A standing behind her) It's you, right?
Boy A: What?
Female student B: Why? You did it intentionally, didn't you?
Boy A: Wait. I didn't do anything.
Female student C: You touched her intentionally, right?
Boy A: Hey, I'm not that kind of person. (looks at Boy B) Hey… Is it you?
Boy B: (confused and shakes his head) Not me. I was sleeping.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A bumps into Female student A again.)
Female student A: (angry) Still saying it wasn't you? You pig!
Boy A: I didn't mean it.
Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past. Boys in the past were all very polite. Now boys are reckless.
Female student C: Now what do you have to say? Apologize to her. Hurry!
Boy A: Alright! Alright! (to female student A) I'm sorry.
(Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.)
Boy A: It's not my day today.
Boy B: Gentlemen don't fight with women. And she's no nice woman.
Old woman: Nowadays girls don't have good temper. Time really changed.
Boy B: Older people know more than us.
Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day. For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day.
(Boys A and B don't know what to say. Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake. The old woman bumps into Female student C's hips.)
Female student C: (surprised) You.....
(The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.)
Old woman: You have nice hips.
Female student B: I can't believe the old woman is capable of sexual harassment.
Female student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past.
Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely.
Female student B: Ah! Here we are. Let's get off.
Female student C: We'd better stay away from those strange people.
(Female students get off the bus.)
Boy B: Who are those strange people? They're real strange. (helps the old woman
up) Are you O.K.? Those young girls have no sympathy.
Old woman: (feels Boy B's hand) You also have a pair of very fine hands.
Boy B: (startled) What?
Boy A: This old woman is also very strange.
Boy B: Let's go!
Old woman: Don't be shy, young man. I have held such kind of hand for a long time.
(Boy B frees himself from the old woman's hand and gets off.)
Old woman: (looks at Boy A) You're nice, too.
Boy A: Hmm, good-bye. (gets off)
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铭钔釺唫
《应聘》2个考官，3个应聘者（某公司招聘推销主管）应聘者：龙民：一个农业养殖户，泰有才：一个没有社会背景的高才生，贞有权：一个官家子弟。泰有才（背这手，度着步子，抬着头思索状）：岁月不留人，时间飞逝过，如今的市场，我也来竞争贞有权（西装革履，大步走上）：根据本人的调查，在这个竞争日益激烈的市场，要求一份好的工作的确很难，同志们呐，为了生存我也来此应聘了。第一个考官说：你们都是来应聘的，我们公司要的是推销方面的人才，要么有学历，要么有经验你们都是有学历的人。。（突然从门外闯近来一个破烂衣服的人，跑得太急差点摔倒）闯近来的农民边挠头边憨厚的说：大姐，对不起，俺迟到了（副考官怒火直冒）：谁是你大姐`？本姑娘才一支花的年龄！！诶？怎么会突然冒出这么个人出`！（龙民惊讶的看着考官说）：大姐？俺村没一支一支的花只有一大把一大把的`！（做夸张的，用抱的姿势来形容花多）（副考官捏紧拳头强忍怒火的样子说）：好了。现在开始自我介绍，把你们的姓名，住址，年龄，民族，生日，性别，婚姻状况，学历。。。。报上来（3个应聘者作惊讶状）（主考官笑笑说）：不用这么多，把你们的名字和学历经验报上来就行贞有权：这才差不多，否则我还以为到派出所了`！泰有才：我叫泰有才，泰国的泰，本人硕士毕业，经过学校文化的熏陶，经过社会的磨砺，经过人生的考验，我来到了贵公司应聘。我将把我的知识为公司推销，用我的文化来推销，把世界观，价值观，荣辱观带到公司的整体利益中来。。。。副考官：停停停，罗嗦，下一个！（泰有才扶了扶眼镜，把头一昂退了退）贞有权：我叫贞有权，贞德的贞。我毕业于那个什么h大，由于社会的竞争，恩，是吧，我来到了这个公司，然后呢，我想竟聘这个职位，我的话说完了，谢谢各位（中间考官动作自己加）龙民：俺叫龙民，一条龙的龙（全场暴笑）俺别的没有，就是经验丰富，具体有啥经验请听下回分解。贞有权：到底是龙民，名字都取得这么农民主考官:好了好了好了，开始提问副考官：请问如果有一个漂亮的姑娘出现在你面前你要怎么推销自己让她接受你？龙民：考官，能不能不要？俺已经有媳妇了，俺怕俺媳妇不让俺睡床。（愤怒）副考官：假设，假设懂吗`？！！龙民：假设，哦。泰有才：哎，真为没知识的人感到悲哀。泰有才：我会朗诵一首很有情调的词，让她臣服在我的文采之中贞有权：我回叫所有交警在那位姑娘出现的地方大声喊：美丽的姑娘：贞有权，真爱你龙民：俺虽然还是怕但是俺也要把握机会，俺会说：大妹子，俺会做饭，俺会洗衣，俺会种地，俺还会带娃，就是生不了娃，你帮俺生个胖娃，成不？副考官：泰有才，你认为一首诗可以打动那位姑娘`？如果真那样，那每天都会有很多老太太爱上你，因为你每天都说了很多话。你现在就去朗诵一首诗看能不能让对面（卖臭干子）{这一句可以用长沙话}的大妈接受你副考官：贞有权，你说你可以叫所有的交警帮你，那好，你先一个人去街上找个姑娘大声说你爱她，看她会不会说你神经病！副考官：龙民，哎，就你那熊样还开口就想别人姑娘给你生个娃啊？你以为别人是你家养的猪啊` 想生就生副考官：既然是推销自己就应该把对方当做堡垒攻下。龙民：考官，现在是和平年代，哪来什么堡垒啊，要是说现在要打鬼子的堡垒俺村的壮丁都早就操起锄头上了，还轮得上俺吗？副考官：哎，你这个人啊，这还是假设，假设！！诶，我就纳闷了，龙民你凭什么进的我们这应聘的？龙民：俺有经验啊（拍拍胸脯，昂起头，作骄傲状）副考官：你有经验？那你怎么说得驴头不对马嘴的？龙民（作委屈状）：哪有，俺真的有经验，你看啊，俺在家里卖过鸡，俺在村里卖过猪，俺在乡里卖过牛，又在城里卖过血，这不都是经验嘛,噢，对了当年我卖牛的时候还有个20出头的小伙子对我说大叔你怎么敢在大马路上卖牛啊，你真是牛a与牛c中间那个，我就纳闷那是什么意思，到后来被城管逮了城管对俺说了句你真牛b。俺到现在还纳闷，怎么俺买个牛咋就成牛abc了？（副考官低下头沉默了一会）然后抬起头说：俺觉得你可以回家再去卖血得了龙民：考官，你说的不对，俺是在城里卖的血不是在家，俺家没那设备呢副考官：哎`！（摇摇头）主考官：那现在你们认真说说觉得该怎么推销自己才能让那姑娘接受自己呢？龙民：俺觉得。。。副考官：停，你不准说话，跟我蹲一边去（龙民可怜巴巴的走到台边）贞有权：我觉得这问题有问题副考官：废话，没问题它能叫问题吗？泰有才：我觉得这个问题有很大的探讨价值，如果允许我给我的导师打个电话问问考官们：你们。。。。主考官：为什么你们就觉得这个问题就那么难呢？龙民，泰有才，贞有权，：这问题不好{龙民从台边站了起来}副考官恶狠狠的说：龙民谁叫你起来了，继续回去蹲好龙民灰溜溜的蹲了下去，双手抱头副考官：这问题怎么就不好了？（龙民又站了起来并走到台前）龙民说：那考官你愿意把自己卖了吗？副考官：谁叫你把自己卖了啊？龙民说：推销自己不就等于卖了自己吗？考官你愿意把自己卖了吗？（考官怒，另外2位应聘者大笑）主考官:你觉得你现在不像是商品吗？生活在这个竞争激烈的环境中，有学历的太多，有背景的也多。有经验的更多，如果你不能把自己很好的推销出去你觉得会有公司接受你吗？刚考官只是打个比方，其实那女孩就是你正在寻找的工作，你不能让那姑娘接受你就等于没办法让你们寻找中的公司接受你，最终你们还是一无所有。希望你能够明白。其实你们进来我们公司应聘之前我们就对你们做过详细的调查。我们对你们已经有所了解，我们公司也正需要像你们这样的人才，泰有才：学历深厚，能为公司在说服顾客方面做很大贡献。贞有权，遇事冷静，很会使用个人人际关系来达到推销目的。龙民，虽然你土了点知识少了点，我相信大部分老板还是喜欢和老实人做生意的，起码会很诚实。所以你们3个我们暂时录用，试用期2个月。（龙民，泰有才，贞有权惊讶）泰有才：对不起，考官，我觉得这样太不公平而且我相信我的学识，所以我希望4位考官能够再给我们一个机会，我们要让4位心服口服的录用我们 主考官：很好，贞有权呢？贞有权：我从来不知道服输是怎么写的，我同意泰有才说的（主考官笑笑）：恩（4位考官和前2位应聘这用怀疑的眼神看着龙民）（龙民害怕的拱了拱手）：俺媳妇在俺出门时告诉俺，出来后要多和城里人学，俺告诉你们俺很听俺媳妇的话的，所以俺跟随前面2位城里大学生脚步走。（所有人都笑了）主考官：那么明天同一时刻我们再次考察3位。（掌声）
白色犬犬
五人英语话剧剧本-The Silber Swindle5人 Actors: Tavern Keepe:(男主角)Young ManKeeper's Wife(女主角)Young ManOld ManSummary: Once upon a time, there was a tavern. Travelers and hunters would exchange silver ingots for copper coins and eat some food there. The tavern keeper and his wife were very greedy. They always played tricks on the scales and cheated their customers. One day they played a trick on an old man as usuaL They were so happy. They thought they made a big fortune. Th their surprise, a young man in the tavern began snickering. "It looks like you've been cheated this time." He told them that the silver ingots had lead in them. The old man was a con artist in fake silver for years. How could it be this way? A smart money changer ilke the tavern keeper was outwitted by an old man! Narrator: Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. Today I will tell you a story. Once upon a time somewhere at the foot of the Changpai mountain, there was a tavern at which travelers and hunters exchanged money to be used inside and outside the small town. Most people knew that the keeper of the tavern and his wife were very greedy. They cheated people by playing tricks on the scales and even charged additional fees for no reasons. One day~ Scene I (Customers are talking, laughing and drinking in the tavern. A traveler just comes in, finds a seat and sits down.) Hunter 1: We hunted many animals today. (laughing) Let's have some more drink. Hunter 2: Yeahl That's a good idea. Hunter 1: Let's eat. Waiter: (sees the traveler come in) Welcome in, sir. What would you like to order? We have good food here and, of course, good wine, too. Traveler 1: Bring me your best dishes! Waiter: That's nice, sir. Your food will be here soon. Traveler 2: (walks to the checkout counter) Hey! How much should I pay? T.O.: It's ten for food, five for wine, and three for the service. It's all cost eighteen coins. Traveler 2: What! It's too expensive. You rip me off. T.K.: If you want to eat free, you will get a misfortune. Traveler 2: (throws some coins on the counter reluctantly and marching out angrily) Don't expect I will come back again. (Meanwhile, an old man comes downstairs and orders some food before checking out.) O.M.: Excuse me. May I order now? T.K.: (walks from behind the counter) Hello! Mydearfriend.Youdidn'tpay me yesterday. It's fifty coins for lodging, thirty-five for food, and five coins for cleaning. O.M.: (surprisingly) What! I just stayed for one single night. And I have to pay so much money. It's ridiculous! T.K.: Don't you dare to stay in my tavern for free! (One of the two young men comes up to the old man.) Y.M.1: Calm down, you two. (to the old man respecifully) Uncle Wang, how are you recently? O.M.: Fine. And you? Y.M.1: Fine. Thank you. T.K.: (interrupts their greeting) Pay me first and take your time chatting. Y.M.1: (to the keeper) Please wait a minute.(turns to the old man)Your son has been doing business with me in Changchou. He wanted me to give you this letter and some silver ingots before I left Chavgchou. I did not expect to meet you here. (hands the old man a letter and a bundle of silver ingots) Please take this. O.M.: Thank you. Do you want to have a drink with me? Y.M.1: Oh, no. I can't. I have to leave here for another business. (The young man leaves hastily after giving the old man a big bundle of silver ingots.) O.M.: (to the tavern keeper) My son again gives me money as my living expenses. But, please read this letter for me since my eyesight is not as good as it used to be. I have money more than enough now. Could I trouble you to read this letter from my son? I will pay you ten more coins as tips. T.K.: Why do I have to read this letter for you? K.W.: (moving from behind the counter) There's nothing to argue about. (pulls the tavern keeper aside and whispers to her husband) We don't have any lose. T.K.: (tears open the letter reluctantly and read the letter) Dear Father, How are you recently? I am now in Changchou doing business. My wife is pregnant again. kids are all filial to us. They can recite some poems. I'm sorry that I can't travel with you. Afler doing business for three years, I made a big fortune. So here are 50 taels of silver for you. And I think its enough for you to live in comfort. I'll be home in two months. ~Nish you well.Your son O.M: (giving the bundle to the tavern keeper's wife) What a good son! Now take what I owe you and exchange the rest for coins, please. K.W.: (opens the bundle shockingly) Wait a moment! That's really a big future. T.K.: (to the old man) All right. You have money now. You can pay us. K.W.: Well. The silver you gave me is more than you need to pay. Ah..., let me see. (pretends to be weighing the silver ingots on the scales) Mmm.... They're exactly 50 taels. The current exchange rate for 50 taels is 5000 copper coins. You have to pay us 100 coins. So, here are 4000 and 900 coins you keep yourself. O.M.: That's what my son told me in the letter. So, good-bye now. K.W.: Waiter.Waiter. Show the gentleman to the door. (The old man takes the coins and leaves the tavern.) K.W.: You can't believe it. That 50 taels of silver weights 60. His son must have been too busy to check the weight. The old man didn't know they could exchange for 6000 copper coins. So we eamlO taels. T.K.: It's so great . We made a big fortune today. Y.M.2: (snikering and walking to the keeper)Are yousure about the silver cotent? You'd better check them again. T.K.: What did you mean by saying that? K.W.: (cuts open one of the ingots) My gosh I T.K.: Oh, God! We were cheated. I have to get back my money. Do you know where I can find him? Y.M.2.: (smiling and putting out his hand over) I know but... T.K.: No problem. Only if you tell me where to find him and I'll give you a tael of silver ingo Y.M. 2: A taels?... He is in a town. T.K.: Tell me more and I'll give you three taels. Y.M. 2: Three taels? He is in a village. T.K. : O.K. Five taels and no more. Y.M. 2: Five taels?... In the east of a village, there is a temple... T.K. : O.K., O.K. Ten taels and you tell me the exact place. Y.M. 2: That's a deal. Hunter 1: Let's go with him. K.W.: Waiter. Take the scale and go with them (Most of the customers go along.) Scene II (The tavern Keeper leaves his wife and went to the place the young man described. It's a wine shop. The old man is drinking wine there with lots of people.) T.K.: So, here you are. You, swindler. You cheated me and you dare to have fun here. O.M.: Oh, come on my friend. Have a dink with me. (The tavern Keeper pushes away the old man's hand.) T.K.: Don't talk so much. Return my money. O.M.: Did I cheat you? It was a mistake, my friend. T.K.: (angrily) Hmm~! You can't deny it! Those pieces of silver ingots you gave me are fake. They're with lead inside. O.M.: How do you know the silver ingots are mine. T.K.: Let me show to you. (The tavern Keeper puts the silver ingots on the scales.) O.M.: (showing the letter from his son to the others) You see. They weigh 60 taels of silver. What my son writes in this letter is 50 taels. Don't fool me. These are not the silver ingots I gave you. T.K.: I I this this... Onlookers: (grabs the tavern keeper and beat him hard) You are not honest. And you are trying to buff this poor old man. Let's throw him out. (Light dims out) Scene III (The tavern Keeper leaves the village wearily.) K.W.: (expecting his husband) Oh! My goodness! What happened to you? T.K.: Stop talking to me. Close the door. K.W.: What happened, my dear? T.K.: Just close the door. It's my decision. (The tavern Keeper utters the sentence dismally.) K.W. : I'm asking you what happened to you! Why are you so upset! T.K.: l... Do you believe it? I was made a fool of by the old man. K.W. : Oh oh ! My goodness! How could it be? Oh -'. T.K.: Now you can understand why I am so upset, K.W.: I am as angry and sad as you are? Why are you mad with me? T.K.: (shouts at his wife) Those two guys outwitted us. Just be quiet. K.W.: (dismally) You! You! (To the surprise of the couple, the old man appears in a smoke suddenly.) O.M.: Look at me closely and see who I am. T.K.: (surprisingly) How How come you are here? O.M.: Don't be afraid! You are in a dream. Tell you the truth. I am a god and both of the two young men are my sons.! came here to teach you a lesson. Don't deceive people any more, my friend! Do your business honestly. You will suffer from what you do if you don't stop cheating people. (Finishing his advice, the old man disappears in a smoke.) T.K.: I don't dare to deceive people any more. K.W.: Yes! Me too! Scene IV Traveler 4: May I get my bill? T.K.: Won't you stay longer? Don't you satisfy with our service? Traveler 4: No. No. Everything is great. T.K.: All right. Please wait a minuet and have some tea. It's all cost thirty coins. Traveler 4: It's cheap. Thank you very much. You are really a good man. So goodbye now. T.K.: Goodbye. Narrator: Ever after, the tavern keeper and his wife treated people with kindness. What's more, they even helped poor people in need.The End
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