一个M精彩
英语小品剧本 -- 孙悟空vs猪八戒An English play---- Pig Guy has been defeated by Monkey King悟空：师傅，是不是太累了？休息一下再走吧。 Master, are you tired? Let’s have a rest.唐僧：没关系，前面不远就有人家了，到了那里再休息吧。 I am fine. Let’s have a rest later. Look! There is a house over there.悟空仔细地搀扶唐僧继续行走，同时另一边老头、老妈、小媳妇出场。小媳妇（做哭状）：爹、妈，我……Daddy, mommy, I, I …老头：女儿，快走吧，不然那猪精来了，就走不了了。 Honey, hurry up. The spirit is coming soon.小媳妇走几步又回头跑回老妈的怀里，抱头痛哭。老头在一边叹息，擦泪。唐僧、悟空走到他们面前。悟空：师傅，到了。Master, here we are.唐僧（走到老头面前行礼，悟空看见了正在哭的母女俩，觉得奇怪，上下打量）：老施主，我是从东土大唐前往西天取经的和尚，想借贵地休息一晚，不知方便否？Excuse me, sir. I am the monk from the east. Can we stay over here tonight?老头（做哽咽状）：哦，是东土大唐来的高僧啊，可以可以。（别过脸去继续哭泣）Oh, you are the monk from the east. Sure. Sure, come in, please ……唐僧正在奇怪，老妈闻声抬起头，仔细打量唐僧，突然扑到唐僧面前。老妈：高僧啊，你可要救救我的女儿，救救我们一家啊。 Master, please save my daughter, save my family…唐僧：老施主休要伤心，有什么事慢慢说。Don’t be sad, madam. Take it easy. What happened?老头：高僧有所不知，我们这里有一只猪精，今天要来跟我女儿成亲，大家都斗不过它，现在正准备把女儿送出去逃避Master, there is a spirit here. He wants to marry my daughter, tonight. We are all afraid of him. 唐僧：施主莫怕，我这徒弟本领高强，也许他能帮上你们。Calm down, sir. My apprentice has great capability. Maybe, he can help you.老头：唉，高僧啊，以前也来过自称本领高强的师傅，结果都被这猪精打跑了。今天你们就躲着别出来了吧。Alas! , master, there have been many people who boast to be very capable. But every time, they were defeated by the spirit. You’d better keep away tonight.悟空：噢，有这么厉害的妖怪？我倒要会他一会。待会你们只管躲起来，外面发生什么事，都不用管。What? Is the spirit really so strong? I’d like to see how great he is. All of you just stay inside. Don’t come out no matter what happens.这时起了风声（音乐），老头一家吓得站起来混身发抖。小媳妇吓得直往老妈怀里钻。悟空镇定地举手示意，让师傅及老头一家人躲到房间里面去。自己也手搭凉篷看了看，便不慌不忙地也躲在了门后，露出一段红袖子。猪八戒大笑着耀武扬威地走上场来，嘴里大喊：小娘子，我来了。Darling, here I am.站在台上停一下，见没有动静，觉得奇怪，往房屋里看去，见露出一段红袖子，高兴地一拍手掌。八戒：小娘子还害羞呢，不敢出来见老猪吗？来，来，来，我们就要是夫妻了，还害什么羞呀！。Darling, don’t be so shy! Please come to me. Come on, we will be a couple. 猪八戒跑上去轻轻拉住红袖子，把小娘子拖了出来，小娘子作出害羞的样子，有时又做出猴子的模样。八戒：小娘子，不用怕，我虽然长得丑，但本领高强，一定会让你过上好日子的。Darling, don’t be afraid. Although I am ugly, I am so powerful. I am sure that I can make you happy. From:
小花肚子饿
六人的英语搞笑话剧：《 荆珂刺秦王》
旁白（Aside ）/介绍（Introduction）：
Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.
Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time?
很久以前有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家里有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲先生是最有名的剑客，他被派去杀清王“嬴政”。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么吗？
Action I（第一幕）
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? （镜子，镜子，告诉我，谁是世界上最漂亮的男人）
（画外音：It's you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状）Thank you mirror! （面对观众）
I'm Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.
But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. So what can I do? Where is my minister?
（我是丹王子，魔镜说我是世界上最有魅力的男人。但是嬴政是个嫉妒心很强的人，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相，他会杀了我的。那我该怎么办？我的部长在哪里？）
阿三（毕恭毕敬） : Honey, I am coming.（殿下，我来了）
太子丹：I've told you again and again that you should call me: "my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan."
（我一再告诉你，你应该叫我：“我最美丽、最优雅、最英俊、最迷人、最可爱、最聪明、最亲爱的丹王子。）
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng.（作杀状）
（好的，殿下。我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个人去杀了嬴政）
太子：Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
（经过筛选，我手头上有两个有前途的人。一个是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将为世界头号杀手PK。）
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
（好吧，尽快给我看看赢家，好吗？）
阿三：Yes.（好的。）
Action II（第二幕）（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲：Are you Li mochou?（你是李莫愁？）
李莫愁：Yes.（是的。）
荆轲：OK. I'm Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers' world.
（好啊。我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是杀手世界之王。）
李莫愁：Are you challenging me?（你在挑战我吗？）
荆轲：Off course!（ 耸耸肩表示同意）
李莫愁：Come on!
音乐起，两人冲上前来，“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。”
李莫愁倒地，荆轲大笑。
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren't you hurt?
（发生了什么？为什么你不会受伤？）
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么，需要么?）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
（妈妈总是说：“人生就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我知道了，妈妈是对的。）
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you？”
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.
（生存还是毁灭，这是个问题。）
阿三：Hero,we need your help.（好汉，我们需要你的帮助。）
荆柯：I am busy now!（我忙着呢！）
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.（你可以得到很多钱。）
荆柯：I am very busy now!（我现在非常的忙。）
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!（我真的真的非常忙。）
阿三（手指上场的美女,激动状）: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.（你看，那是世界上最美丽的女子，如果你答应了，她就是你的了。）
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
（我不得不说她是个性感又美丽的女人，但TCM才是我唯一的爱人。）
阿三：What? What's the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn't know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.（小子，看你挺聪明却不知道TCM。让我来告诉你吧。）
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
（我必须给你看王牌。女士们先生们，这是利普顿减肥茶。是联合利华中国的一个全新产品。）
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn't reduce my weight.
（减肥茶！我已经梦想了几千次了。我妻子总是威胁说如果我不能减肥就离开我。）
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I'm very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?
（你想要什么？如果你愿意，就大声说！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你的眼睛充满了诚意，但我很高兴，你还是得大声说。拿着它！你真的喜欢吗？真的？）
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
（告诉我该怎么办？我愿意为你做任何事。）
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）：Yeah!
全剧终
拍英语话剧的注意事项
1、首先，组员要熟悉理解剧本，能够充分理解剧本的内容，然后进行表情和细节性的标注，这样会有助于现场的拍摄，同样进行一幕一幕的划分，这样不会使组员太过紧张忘词。
2、其次就是准备道具，一定要全，老师会很在意我们在细节方面的用心程度，倘若我们精心地准备了道具的话，会给老师留下一个不错的印象，很容易得高分。
3、然后就是角色的分配，一定要合理，要根据人们在现实生活中的性格进行分配，这样有助于增加话剧的真实性，从而更生动，同时也要考虑到不同组员的英语水，要考虑周全。
4、然后最最最重要的便是背台词，一定要理解，切记，当我们感觉一句话念不通的时候，可以用简单句进行改写，便于背诵也便于理解，不一定一字不差的照着剧本背，这样也违背了我们学英语的初衷。
5、然后便是拍摄，注意的是情感的投入尤其是表情，还有就是拍摄的角度一定要合理，符合当时情景。进行一幕一幕地拍摄，中途有适当的休息。然后就是尽量多个角度进行切镜头，这样效果会好很多。
6、然后就是后期制作，这一点尤为重要，主要分为四部分，一、片头和片尾的制作，二、视频的剪辑，三、片头和片尾音乐的挑选，四、字幕的制作。
虎呆呆漫步
经典英语话剧剧本 （一）
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
king
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .
Birdsaredancinginthecold .
Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .
Windiscominginsilence.
Another mysteriousmanapproaches .
Y与X相遇。
X:oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !
Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.
X:Excuseme, whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?
Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶：Ar, ximenchui xue?
X:Yes,whatiswrong?
Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?
X:Great, youknowme !
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo!
X:No, Imustkillyou !
Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!
X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
X:Pardon!
（Y拿出一袋牛奶）
X抢过牛奶：milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?
Y:pleasedrinkit!
X喝完牛奶：Thanks, ha,ha
Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:Sure, must! milkismilk.
Y（恼怒+冷酷）：Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
X:I’msureIwon’t!
Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……
X可怜状： help! help! Whereisthewashroom?
Y:What ?
X:Toliet?
Y:What ?
X:The "WC"?
Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y掏出纸屑吹：Thisisgenuirnesnow!
H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!
Y:Whoareyou?
H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin"WC" now,ha……
H惊讶：Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Youareright!
H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
Y:Yes,It’sverygood.
H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!
Y:Ok,Let’s go!
第二幕：无间道
H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng.
K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状：Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?
Y: Yes,Ido.
K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）
X唱着上：Onlyyou……（看到戒子） thisringshouldbemine!
K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?
Y急切： king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi（维语再见）
K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?
Y:How clever……
X冷酷：yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!
Y抱X的腿：oldbrother ! Forgiveme!
X:Forgiveme? Why?
Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou"I love you",Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!
X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s"WC"!
Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.（Y又拿出一袋牛奶）
X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!（我爱你的意思）
K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?
X:Youarestupid! Itmeans"I love you".
K:Don’t saythat"you love me". I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
X:What? （侧耳装着听不到） You---kill----me?come, come…（X上去抓住K）
K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……
Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0（X捂着肚子，蹲下）
K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou
haveavacation.
Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.
K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……小品剧本大全
Y:Hahaha-----
H:Where’ssomewhere?
K:What?
Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s"WC"?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
H顶着摇头：X,no, no, youcan’tgotoLady’s "WC". Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!
X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !
K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !
H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !
K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?
H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.
K惊讶： !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?
Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! （轻声说）Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .
H扑倒在X的身边：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !
K:what amoving story !I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !
（H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，K吓跑。音乐《再见，警察》起）
Y痛苦状：don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !（Y死，音乐停）
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:gohome ! ?
H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !
X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor… promise meyou will survive… that youwillnevergiveup… nomatter what happens… no matter howhopeless… promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.
H: I promise .
X:Never let go .
H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go ,
X.I''''''''ll never letgo.（X死）
H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance !lifecanbechanceliketimecangotoback . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! （H自刎，艰难的爬到X身边死。音乐停。）
经典英语话剧剧本 （二）
旁白：It’s a cold evening. The Titanic has sunken. Rose, Jack and Oscar are on the life boat floating in the ocean. This is Jack. This is Rose and this is Oscar, her husband-to-be.（边说边介绍，三人坐在课桌上）
Oscar: Oh, honey~ Are you OK? （边说边将手搭上Rose肩）
Jack: She is my girl.（打开Oscar的.手）
Oscar: You are so cold.（脱下报纸披在R身上面向观众）what you wear, what you are.
Jack: What are you doing! （扔掉校服，脱下自己的羽绒服抖了抖，面向观众）BoSideng（波斯登）， warm and comfortable, it’s my choice.（将羽绒服披在Rose身上）
Rose:（向Jack）I love you.（向观众）But I love BoSideng more.
Oscar: Hey! She is my wife-to-be, who are you?
Jack: I am I. Wo de di pan wo zuo zhu（我的地盘我做主）。
Oscar: People on the Earth all know, She, and I, will go to New York to have our wedding. Rose: But now……
Jack: Don’t say any more! Take your knife out! （从口袋里掏出铅笔，紧握手中）
Oscar: Ok. Let’s go fighting! （同样掏出铅笔紧握手中）
Jack & Oscar: Fighting! （用铅笔互戳）----小蜜蜂~
Rose: No, no, no! Please stop! （拉二人）（ J & O不小心将Rose推下桌子——落水）
Rose: Help, help!（Jack & Oscar将拉上Rose桌子）
Oscar: Honey, how are you?
Rose:（向观众）PiaoRou（飘柔）， just so confident~（甩头发）
（Rose不小心推Oscar,Oscar落水） Oscar: Help, help!
Rose: Oh, no! （向Oscar伸手）（Jack抓过Rose的手，对视）
Jack:（唱）你是我的玫瑰，你是我的花…You are my life, you are my honey~
Rose: But……what about Oscar?
Jack: Don’t pay attention to him.
Rose: OK. Darling~ I love you, loving you, like mouse love rice~
旁白：At this time, Oscar has been far away……Jack and Rose are still floating in the ocean. It’s colder and colder.
Jack: Do you feel cold?
Rose: Yes. You see we are so lonely.
Jack: Don’t worry. I have this! （从口袋里掏出打火机，并向观众展示）This is a magic DaHuoji（打火机）。（Jack按下打火机）（Superwoman上，胸前贴一张纸，上书S）
Superwoman:（向观众）Do you know who am I? I am Superwoman! The famous Superman is my brother. I’m willing to help others.
Rose: Would you please help us get away from here?（Superwoman无视，面向Jack）
Superwoman: Oh, pretty boy~ Come here, I will save you.
Jack: Take my girl together.
Superwoman: No way!（Superwoman下）（Jack第二次按下打火机）
（Indian Princess上，向观众合掌问候）
Princess: I am a princess from India.
Rose: Would you please help us get away from here?
Princess: OK. I have a magic blanket, maybe it can take you away. Come on.（从口袋里掏出围巾）（Jack & Rose 尝试伸出脚，Princess上下晃动围巾）
Princess: Oh, no, it’s broken! My blanket! （边说边后退，渐远）
（Indian Princess下）（Jack第三次还没按，Harry Potter上，提着扫帚）
Harry: Yi? Where am I? （向观众）My name is Harry Potter. I’m from Hogwarts（霍格沃茨）。 I lose my way.
Rose: Would you please help us get away from here?
Harry: I really want to help you, but my ability is limited.（耸肩）
Jack:（愤怒地）Oh, my god! Go away at once! （指向前方）（Harry Potter下）
旁白：Suddenly, the life boat is shaking because Jack and Rose are too heavy.
Jack: Rose, listen to me. I love you, but I will leave you.The boat can’t support us for
a long time. You must live, so I will jump into the sea.
Rose: No, no, no. Jump or not jump, this is a question.
Jack: Then let the God decide it（二人低头虔诚祈祷状）
Rose: God will bless us.（Jack和Rose同时从身后伸出手来，包剪锤）
Jack & Rose: One two three!（Jack出锤子，Rose出包子）
Jack: I lose. You see, it’s God’s choice.（Rose连连摇头）
Rose: Oh, no. Jack, Jack, why your name is Jack!
Jack: I wish you a happy life. Good-bye!（Jack跳下桌子，Rose伸手拉，未果）
Rose: You jump, I jump.（Rose跳下桌子，O未死， 继续叫救命……）
（旁白唱my heart will go on,音乐起，全剧终。Jack & Rose跳舞，张开手臂经典动作作结。）。
