三人英文小短剧

顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！A : Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot! 一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.A:Are you crazy?( yelled the customer ),with your hand on my steak?(What answers the waiter) You want it to fall on the floor again? 服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。第一个顾客：我要茶第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？B:(Waiter:) Tea or coffee gentlemen?A:I'll have tea.C:(2nd customer:) Me too - and be sure the glass is clean!(Waiter exits returns)B:(Waiter:) Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？看起来象是在仰泳，A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?Um looks to me to be backstroke sir...服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Don't worry sir the spider on the breadroll will get 'em. 服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak. 服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be wanting one.服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!B:Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇！是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills them. 话剧前半部分是荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本 （Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）： Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming. 太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”! 阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ （作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world. 太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me? 荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right. 荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 羊肉串和纳税人（英文小品） Characters: Mr. Shi, Xiaofu, Dabao Mr. Shi: Tax is the major source of the fiscal revenue. There is an evident change about the relationship between the tax collector and taxpayer in the past 20 years. Now, the tax collector, Xiaofu, and the tax payer Dabao, a vendor selling Yangrouchuan will show you the very change. The first Act happened in 1980s. Act I (in Bazaar of Beijing, sanlihe, 1980s) Dabao: Yangrouchuan , yangrouchuan, eaten one ,want nine, eaten one, want nine. Hi, Take my yangrouchuan.(slipped, take it up, ) Xiaofu: Tax! Pay the tax! Dabao: (change faces) Taxi? Where is the taxi? Here’s no taxi. Xiaofu: Tax! T---A ---X! Dabao: What’s the tax? I just know taxi! Do you want me to call a taxi for you? Taxi----! Taxi----! Xiaofu: Enough! Are you the vendor? Dabao: No , No, No, no! I 'm just have a look. The vendor has gone to the toilet. Xiaofu: Not the vendor ? Impossible! you 've been here for 2 hours. Dabao: Really ? (Xiaofu: Yes, of course.) How do you know it? Xiaofu: The window of my office is open to here and I 've been looking at you for two hours. Dabao: It’s a big bug! Xiaofu: Oh. Don’t waste my time! Please pay the tax---- 10 Yuan! Dabao: 10 yuan?! My god. I had just earned 20 Yuan one day! 5 Yuan, ok? Xiaofu: Don't cheat me, you've sold more than 2 hundred ones. Dabao: 6yuan, my dear sisiter. 7Yuan, my lovely beauty. Dabao: Not for you ,not for me, let's split the difference. 8 yuan ,ok ? Xiaofu: (looking around) All right ,a deal. But no receipt. (Dabao payed 8 yuan and Xiaofu left) Dabao: What a smart woman! Bad luck! I’m bankrupt. I have to change my place. Hope I would not meet her any more! Let’s go! Act II Mr. Shi: The next scene happened in new century. China had been marching in the way of the market economy for twenty years more, in the new era of building the well-off society in an all-round way, how do the vendor regard tax as and how is the tax collected? The scene will tell you. Let’s enjoy it! (In the market; Dabao in white clothes ,a board with "NO SARS") Dabao:: Yangrouchuan, yangrouchuan. Eaten one, want nine. Eaten one, want nine. Xiaofu: Hi, Dabao: Hi. Two: What a familiar face. Two: It’s you! Dabao: 10 years past, you are a still a tax collector. Xiaofu: 10 years past, you still sell Yangrouchuan. How is your business? Dabao: Everything is OK! 10 years past, you are still beautiful lady in Sanlihe of Beijing. Xiaofu: 10 years past, you and your Yangrouchuan look more clean than 20 years before. Dabao: Thank you. No SARS, no dirtiness; Serve people, serve me. Xiaofu: Great! Have you…… Dabao: Married? I ‘m not married; I’m still single. Xiaofu: Have you claimed your tax this month? Dabao: What? Taxi? Oh, tax! Of course. I should pay the tax of 50 Yuan this month and I have claimed at the begin of this month. Xioafu: Your receipt, please. Dabao: (shows the receipt ) Here you are, I have paid my tax in the tax service center by computer. Xiaofu: Great! What a good taxpayer you are. Dabao: Thank you. It is my duty. I’m proud of myself to pay the tax for our country. Xiaofu: Yeah! The tax you paid is a share of our country’s economy, and you do a lot for Olympics of Beijing! Dabao: Let’s do it together! . It’s said that, Don't ask what your country can do for you but ask what you can do for your country. Just like me, sell Yangrouchuan, and pay the Tax for ten years more. Xiaofu: You 're the loveliest people in new century! Dabao: Thank you! And you 're the loveliest tax collector in new era! X: Excuse me, and I have to go now. Bye-bye. D: A moment, are you free tomorrow evening? Could I have a dinner with you? Xiaofu: Well, may I have the company of my husband? Dabao: No, no, no problem. 6 o’clock in the evening, Beichuanyuan, ok? Xiaofu: just a kidding. I have to go home now.(leaves) Dabao, See you tomorrow. Dabao: Hope to see you everyday. The End

A Brother Like That A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. "Is this your car, Mister?" he said. Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish . . ." He hesitated. Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels. "I wish," the boy went on, "That I could be a brother like that." Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?" "Oh yes, Id love that." After a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?" Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked. He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car. "There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a cent. And some day Im gonna give you one just like it . . . then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that Ive been trying to tell you about." Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride. That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he said: "It is more blessed to give . . . " 内容： 哥哥的心愿 圣诞节时，保罗的哥哥送他一辆新车。圣诞节当天，保罗离开办公室时，一个男孩绕着那辆闪闪发亮的新车，十分赞叹地问： "先生，这是你的车？" 保罗点点头："这是我哥哥送给我的圣诞节礼物。"男孩满脸惊讶，支支吾吾地说："你是说这是你哥送的礼物，没花你一分钱？天哪，我真希望也能……" 保罗当然知道男孩他真想希望什么。他希望能有一个象那样的哥哥。但是小男孩接下来说的话却完全出乎了保罗的意料。 "我希望自己能成为送车给弟弟的哥哥。"男孩继续说。 保罗惊愕地看着那男孩，冲口而出地说："你要不要坐我的车去兜风？" "哦，当然好了，我太想坐了！" 车开了一小段路后，那孩子转过头来，眼睛闪闪发亮，对我说："先生，你能不能把车子开到我家门前？" 保罗微笑，他知道孩子想干什么。那男孩必定是要向邻居炫耀，让大家知道他坐了一部大轿车回家。但是这次保罗又猜错了。"你能不能把车子停在那两个台阶前？"男孩要求道。 男孩跑上了阶梯，过了一会儿保罗听到他回来了，但动作似乎有些缓慢。原来把他跛脚的弟弟带出来了，将他安置在第一个台阶上，紧紧地抱着他，指着那辆新车。 只听那男孩告诉弟弟："你看，这就是我刚才在楼上对你说的那辆新车。这是保罗他哥哥送给他的哦！将来我也会送给你一辆像这样的车，到那时候你就能自己去看那些在圣诞节时，挂窗口上的漂亮饰品了，就象我告诉过你的那样。" 保罗走下车子，把跛脚男孩抱到车子的前座。兴奋得满眼放光的哥哥也爬上车子，坐在弟弟的身旁。就这样他们三人开始一次令人难忘的假日兜风。 那个圣诞夜，保罗才真正体会主耶稣所说的"施比受更有福"的道理。