英语笑话80个

经典英文笑话大全

经典英文笑话大全一：

A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

“你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。”

经典英文笑话大全二：

The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.

一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。

"What's in here?" he asked.

“里面装的是什么?”他问道。

"Dirt," the driver replied.

“土。”司机回答。

"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

“把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。”

Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。

A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。

"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

“这次袋子里装的'是什么?”他问道。

"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

“土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。

Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。

The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender.

同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。

Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."

有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西?”

Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."

那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。”

经典英文笑话大全三：

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。

"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。