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这个搞笑《孔雀东南飞》(英文搞笑话剧)

英语剧本十人

272 评论(11)

大眼睛鱼儿

A: Oh, Kevin. Fancy meeting you here.B: Yes, we haven’t met for nearly ten years. How’s it going?A: Fine. How’re you doing? B: I am stressed.A: Why are you so stressed?B: You know, I am a business man. And now I even haven’t one costumer. And my company is nearly bust up. A: What a pity. And what kind of business do you run?B: I run vegetable’s business. I sell lettuce, mushrooms, cucumbers and so on. These vegetables are really popular, fresh and cheap. But I don’t know why people doesn’t come to my company.A: Has your company own WEB PAGE?B: No, I think it’s unnecessary.A: You are wrong. If your company has not own WEB PAGE, no one will know your company, so that nobody shops at your company.B: Oh, I got it. Thanks for your advice.And what have you been doing these years?A: After I graduated from university, I worked in an oversea international company for three years. I always went abroad to do business. But I thought though the salary is quiet good, I am too tired. So I resign the company.B: What did you do next?A: After resigned the company, I had nothing to do till one day---I found a want ad on China Daily. It said a man who has the ability of typing and writing fast was wanted to be a secretary in an office. I thought I could do this job. So I went to this company to have an interview.B: How about your result?A: Don’t ask. It was a fraudulent ad. There isn’t an office. And I am cheated.B: Oh, are you joking? Is that true?A: It’s absolutely true. After being cheated, I decided to work as a policeman. And we caught people who break the law.B: I admire you. Oh , I forget to ask you. What’s your hobby?A: I like to play ballgames. How about you?B: I prefer doing exercises at the health club. I think it is good for my health.A: I am a little bit hungry now. Shall we go for lunch?B: That is a good idea. I will pay the bill.A: No, no, no, I will pay for it.B: Don’t argue. Both of us should pay a half of it.A: Let’s go.

101 评论(9)

joyzhou512

The Musicians of Bremen(布莱梅的音乐家) 【我小学的剧本,望采纳 开幕: 幕边台词:Hey,everybody, This is our morning exercise time. Let’s dance! 【各动物出场(两只猪、两只牛、一匹马、一只驴),一起跳舞(Hokey Pokey)】 【农夫和妻子(拿着食物桶)出场,吹哨子召集动物吃早餐,动物拿着食物盘排成一排,做出可爱的样子】 Wife:【把食物倒在食物盘上,小猪把头放在wife的肩膀上撒娇】Look at the lovely pig, they grow bigger and bigger! Farmer:【点头】.Hmmm. Wife:【把食物倒在食物盘上】Oh, my dear cow. Farmer: 【牛扭一下屁股,身子和农夫摩擦一下】Our cow give us milk every day. I love them. Wife:【点点头】Oh,yes. 【倒食物给马】And our horse help us a lot with the farm work! Farmer: Yes, he is our family member. Donkey: 【一直伸着耳朵听,听到农夫和妻子对各个动物的称赞,也想获得称赞。驴看见旁边有一袋麦子,就去搬,想讨好农夫。但却搬不动】 Farmer:Look at the donkey. He is too old to work. Wife: I think we can sell him to the butcher. Farmer: That’s a good idea. Let’s call the butcher to come tomorrow.【说完后,农夫和妻子退场】 Donkey:【听了主人的对话,表情随着想得到表扬,到失落。听到要卖给屠夫,表情变得惊讶和伤心】Oh. No!【走到舞台中间,垂头丧气的摇头】 【动物围了过去】 Horse:Hey, my brother, the butcher will kill you. Donkey:I know,I know. Maybe I will become a plate of jerky(肉干), or a plate of roast meat(烤肉),or I will be cooked with pepper(辣椒). Oh, I hat pepper. It always makes my tears come out. 【尽管伤心,还是很有幽默精神的】 Pigs: Oh, Mr. Donkey, maybe you can run to the mountain. Donkey: 【摇头】In that case, I will not do good to people! Cow 1: Don’t be sad. Mr. Donkey. You are good at music. You can play the guitar. 【驴露出感激的笑容】 Cow 2: And you can play the drum and you have a nice voice! 【驴露笑的很开心】 All the animals: You can go to Bremen and become a musician. Donkey:【欢乐地跳起来】Yes, yes, I can go to the Musician Home—Bremen. I will use my show to make people happy! Pigs: 【走到旁边看了看】Now the chance comes. Our masters fall into sleep. Start your journey to Bremen, please. Donkey: OK. Bye-bye.【驴戴上了吉他和鼓】 Animals: Bye-bye. 【动物转一圈,将农场布景带下, 带上路途上的背景】 【驴在欢快的音乐中转了两圈,两只小鸡拖着小狗跑,但小狗不愿意,躺在路边上气不接下气】 Chickens:Hurry up, Mr. Dog. You should run away from here. Dog: Oh,my dear friend. Let me alone. Let me—these old bones, wait for death quietlyDonkey:Why are you out of breath, Mr. dog? Dog:Ah, I’m old and weak. I cannot hunt anymore. So my master tries to shoot me. I ran away. But now I do not have either a home or a job. I will starve.” Donkey:Oh. Don’t be so sad. You are still very valuable. Can you play the drum? Dog: 【接过驴手中的鼓】Oh,Yes. That’s my strong points. I always want to be a drum player. 【嘴巴哼出打鼓的节奏】 Donkey:I am going to Bremen to become a musician. Let’s go together. We can start a musical band. I will play the guitar. And you can play the drum.” Dog:That’s a great idea. Let’s go right now. Good bye, my dear friend. Chickens: Good bye. I believe you will be a good musician. 【驴和狗一起走了。(加音乐)驴弹吉他。狗敲鼓。小鸡退场,三只小鸭和小猫上台,小猫无比伤心地唱歌(country road),小鸭跳舞,donkey和cat也加入跳舞中】 Ducks: You sings well, Mr. Dog. Cat:【伤心地】No,that’s meaningless. I am useless now. Dog【走前】Mr. Cat, what’s the matter with you? Cat:I am too old to catch mice any more. And my mistress beat me. So I ran away. But I don’t know where to go. Donkey: You are still very useful, Mr. Cat. Come with us to Bremen. We can start a musical band. I will play the guitar, and Mr. Dog can beat the drum. And you can sing in our band. Ducks: Wow, Mr. Cat, you will be a super singer. Cat:That sounds great. I like singing. Let’s start for Bremen. Goodbye, my wonderful friends.

279 评论(10)

萌萌panda我最爱

新灰姑娘 New Cinderella 角色:灰姑娘(戴着深度近视眼镜,满脸雀斑),后母,两个姐姐,王子,小仙女,女孩甲,女孩乙,参加宴会者数人。 道具:深度近视眼镜两副,高跟鞋,拖把,鸡毛掸子,梳子,橡皮筋,西瓜车,SKI化妆品,音乐带,镜子,围巾,流星。 ACT 1 (灰姑娘背对着观众,拿着拖把拖地,身体夸张地跟着音乐律动,再拿起鸡毛掸子清理,后母走出来,刚好清理到她的身边。) Stepmother: Cinderella, what are you doing? (生气地) Cinderella: Mum, your dress is a little bit dirty. Let me clean it for you. (用鸡毛掸子清理后母的裙子。) Stepmother: Stop it! You naughty girl. Look at my face. (拿出镜子给Cinderella看)You had better clean your face first. (怒气冲冲离开) Cinderella: Oh! My face. What can I do? (望着镜子) 镜子:Oh ,the poor girl. But you are kindhearted. (Cinderella伤心地唱着Star light, star bright) Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. Have the wish I wish tonight.(闭眼祷告) (这时,天空滑过一颗流星,接着小仙女跑过来,追着这颗流星。) 小仙女:My candy. My candy.(跑着跑着,掉了一样东西) (Cinderella祈祷完毕,看到地上地东西,捡起来。) Cinderella: What is it? SKI ,for beauty. Oh, that is for me. Thank you very much.(双手合十做感谢状) ACT 2 (Cinderella背对观众清理房间) 大姐:Cinderella, comb my hair. Cinderella: Yes, sister. (将大姐的头发绑成冲天炮) 二姐:Cinderella, get me a scarf.(拿出一条围巾并绑二姐未在手臂上) (大姐和二姐站起来互看了一眼,并放声大笑。) 大姐:You look so funny. 二姐:You look so funny. 大姐,二姐:(觉得不对劲)Cinderella! Cinderella: (没戴眼镜,雀斑全消)Yes? 大姐:Cinderella, you look so different. 二姐:Cinderella, your face… Cinderella: I made a wish and it came true. 大姐,二姐:How did you do that? (Cinderella 配合滑稽的音效,比手画脚了一番。) 大姐,二姐:Oh! I see. Go to your room, Cinderella. (Cinderella退回房间) 大姐:It is easy, isn’t it? 二姐:Yes. Let’s try. 大姐,二姐:(唱歌) Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. Have the wish I wish tonight. (这时,天空掉下一颗巨大的陨石。) 小仙女:My ball. My ball. (跑着,跑着,将陨石捡起并向观众,这时身上掉下一样东西。) 大姐:(睁开眼睛)What is it? 二姐:(从地上捡起来)SK. 大姐:It works. 大姐,二姐:(抢着涂抹)Save some for me. ACT 3 Stepmother: Mary! Judy! Where are you? It is time to party. 大姐,二姐:(沮丧地)We are here. (大姐,二姐成为大近视眼,脸上并长满雀斑。) Stepmother: Oh, my goodness! What’s the matter with you ? 大姐,二姐: Mummy! Help us. ACT 4 Cinderella: (唱Star light, star bright并闭眼祷告) (这时,天空滑过一颗流星) 小仙女: My candy! My candy! Cinderella! Stop singing the song. Here are the car and the dress. Be sure to come back before twelve. Cinderella: Thank you, my angel! ACT 5 (宴会上,大家快乐地跳着舞) 王子:My fair lady .May I have this dance? Cinderella: Yes, please. (王子和Cinderella跳着DISCO) Stepmother: Who’s that? 大姐:She is so beautiful. 二姐:I wish I were the girl. 大姐:Don’t make any wish, stupid girl. (钟敲响12下) 时钟报时:Dang! Dang! Dang! It is 12 o’clock! Cinderella: Oh! I have to leave now.(冲忙跑走,掉了一双鞋子。) 王子: Hey! Don’t be so rush. What’s your name? ACT 6 (在街上,王子看到女孩子就请她试穿鞋子。) 王子:Please try it on. 女孩甲:(试穿后)It is not my size. 女孩乙:(试穿后)It is not mine. 大姐:Let me try it.(但穿不下) 二姐:It is my turn.(也穿不下) 王子:(看到Cinderella)Lady,would you please try it on. Cinderella:Oh! It’s my shoe. 王子:You are the girl in the party. Cinderella:Yes, I am。Thank you for bringing me the shoe. (跑走,并唱着Star light, star bright) 王子:Wait! Wait! I am the prince. Marry me! 小仙女:(穿着Cinderella参加舞会地衣服)I do. I do. 小仙女:(拉着王子地手不由自主一直大叫I do. ) Cinderella,!Stop singing the song and making any wish.

287 评论(15)

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