南瓜冰妈
1、Hey, pull my finger!唉，我要放屁咯！（美国人暗示别人自己要放屁时用pull my finger，非常地道的美语哦！）2、 I don't care if it's on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.我才不管现在是不是打折呢！300美元买一件名牌裙子也太贵了！3、Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.哦！不要停下来问路吧，我相信你肯定能找到去那儿的路。4、Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?亲爱的，你会不会觉得这件衣服显得我屁股太小？5、Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends'我们的关系能不能有点实质性的进展？我受够了“我们只是朋友”。6、Ohh, this diamond is way to big!哦！这颗钻石实在是太大了！7、Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.我们今天晚上能不能不要聊天、只看电视啊？8、What do you mean today's our anniversary?啊？今天是我们结婚纪念日？ 1、We never talk anymore.人家再也不跟你说话了啦！2、Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.嘿，你试穿的时候我来帮你拿包包。3、 Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch Melrose Place.哦！星期一晚上看什么足球赛啊，我们来看《飞跃情海》吧！（女生超爱的电视连续剧。）4、While I'm up, can I get you anything?我起身的时候，要帮你（顺手）拿点儿什么吗？5、 Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!哦！安东尼·巴德拉斯和布拉德·皮特？我一定要看那部电影！6、 Here honey, you use the remote. 给，亲爱的，你来用遥控器吧。 1、Betty:"I fell last night, unconscious for eight hours."贝蒂：“我昨晚摔了一跤，昏迷了8个小时。”Hetty:"How dreadful! Where did you fall?"赫蒂：“真可怕！你在哪里摔的？”Betty:"I fell asleep."贝蒂：“我是在睡梦中。”2、Tommy:"Are flies good to eat?"汤米：“苍蝇好吃吗？”Dad:"I don't think so. Why do you ask?"爸爸：“我想不好吃。你为什么这样问？”Tommy:"There was one in your pie."汤米：“刚才你的馅饼里面有一只。”3、Mother:"Why were you kept after school today, Johnny?"妈妈：“今天放学后，你为什么要被留下来，约翰尼？”Johnny:"Teacher told us to write an essay on 'The Result of Laziness', and I turned in an blank sheet of paper."约翰尼：“老师让我们写一篇作文《懒惰的后果》，我交了一张白纸。”4、I was putting cream on my face when my little girl asked what I was doing. I explained that it was good for wrinkles.我向脸上抹面霜时，小女儿问我在干什么。我解释说这种面霜对皱纹有好处。"It's sure doing a great job, mommy," she replied."You are getting more of them."她回答说：“妈妈，它肯定很管用。你的皱纹越来越多了。” 小笑话出自：
koko乔纳
鲁迅先生的杂文用笑话作比,飞跃联想,把抽象的事物说得浅显明白,饶有兴味,使人们在笑谈中潜移默化领会作者的主旨。下面是我带来的高中英语三分钟笑话，欢迎阅读!高中英语三分钟笑话篇一 Gotta Have Faith要有信心 The is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on cliff several hundred feet in th air. 有个关于在 欧洲座落于高空好几百英尺悬涯高处的修道院 故事 。 The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength . 到达修道院。唯一的 方法 ，就是被悬吊在由数名修道士用尽他们全力拖拉到山顶的篮子里。 Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. 很明显的，乘坐篮子爬上陡峭的悬崖是相当令人害怕的。 One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. 有位旅客约在半途中，注意到悬挂他的绳子很老旧而且被磨损时，心中感到极度紧张不安。 With trembing voice,he asked the monked who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. 他用颤抖的声音询问与他一同乘坐在篮子里的修道士，他们多久换绳子一次。 The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely,"Whenever it breaks." 修道士想了一会，然后粗率地回答：“绳子断掉时。” 高中英语三分钟笑话篇二 Gone Shopping购物 Our supermarket had a sald on boneless chicken breasts,and a woman I know ontended to stock up . 我们的超级市，场在廉价拍卖无骨鸡胸，我认识的某位女士打算去多买一些。 At the store,However,she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portopns of the poultry, 然而，到了这家肉店的时候她感到很失望，因为只找到一点点事先就包装好的鸡肉， so she complained to the butcher. 所以她就向这位肉店老板抱怨。 "don't worry,lady," he said. 他说：“小姐，别担心， "I will pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." 我会替你多包几盘，在你买完东西的时候把它们准备好。” Several aisles later ,my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over th public-address system: 逛完几个走道之后，我的朋友听到肉店老板的声音透过公共广播系统隆隆地说 "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store?" “那位想要大胸部的小姐请到本店后方来见我好吗?” 高中英语三分钟笑话篇三 Why为什么 A cemetery grounds keeper was going about his rounds when he saw a man lying on a grave, “位墓园管理员在巡视的时候，看见一名男子躺在坟墓上， sobbing loudly and pounding his fits on the ground, 大声哭泣，并且用他的拳头重重地敲打地面.他悲痛地说： "Why did you have to die?Oh,why?Why?Why?"he lamented. "你为什么一定要死?哦，为什么?为什么?为什么?” "A loved one's passing is a terrible lose."the grounds keeper offered in consolation, 墓园管理员安慰他说“心爱的人死去是个很难受的损失， "but someday,the pain will pass." 但是终有一天，伤痛会过去的。” "Love one?" the weeping man said ,looking up. 这位哭泣的男子抬起头看着他说：“心爱的人? " I didn't even know the guy." 我根本不认识这个人。… "Then why all the tears? " "那为什么要痛哭流涕呢?…" "He was my wife's first husband!" "他是我老婆的笫一任老公呀!” 高中英语三分钟笑话篇四 The job interview工作中的 面试 Reaching the end of a job interview , 到了工作面试的最后部分， the personnel recruitment officer asken a young engineer fresh out of Cambridge, 人事招聘主管问一位刚从剑桥 桥 毕业 的年轻工程师： " And what starting salary were you looking for?" “你想要起薪多少呢 ?” The engineer said,"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year,depending on the benefits package ." 工程师说 ：“太约一年十四万左右吧，要视整体福利而定。” The interviewer said,"Well ,what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 面试主管说：“嗯，五个礼拜的假期， 14 paid holidays,full medical and dental, 十四天带薪假，全额补助医疗和看牙科， company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary , 百分之五十薪资的公司相对退休基金， and a company car leased every 2 years ,say,a red sports Mercedes? " 每两年公司租用配车，比如说，红色的奔驰跑车，你觉得怎幺样呀?” The engineer sat up straight and said , 工程师挺直坐着说： "Wow!Are you kidding?" “哇!你在开玩笑吧?” And the interviewer replied,"Yeah,but you started it." 面试主管回答说 ：“对呀。不过是你起头的呀。”
