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英语笑话及中文翻译
英语笑话及中文翻译一：
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
【注释】
1. fume - to be angry about something 发怒，生气
常用介词搭配：fume at/over/about
例如：fume about what he said 对他所说的话感到生气
2. tell somebody off 斥责，责骂
tell somebody off for doing something 因为某人做某事而责骂他/她
例如：The boss is always telling me off for being late, even though he is late every day! 我的老板总拿迟到的事斥责我，即便他自己天天迟到!
英语笑话及中文翻译二：
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
【注释】
1. cure of 是一个在各种英语阅读文章中经常出现的习语，它的意思有两大分支，一是医疗范畴上的对疾病的救治;二是生活习惯范畴上的对坏习惯的`矫正。
The medicine should cure you of your cold. 这药应该能治好你的感冒。
Parents try to cure their children of bad habits. 父母们想办法纠正孩子们的坏习惯。
2. 西方文化中的魔鬼形象：
在西方国家的文献、小说、影视作品中，魔鬼常被描述为一个有角有尾巴、手拿长柄叉、在烈火熊熊的地狱里折磨人的怪物。
TTTTTTTT醬
笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。我精心收集了 英语笑话 带中文翻译，供大家欣赏学习! 英语笑话带中文翻译：The Great Lion Hunter 伟大的猎手 A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief. Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose? 有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。 猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只牛然后把头皮给他。把牛皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。 半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。 Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?村长问。 哪有狮子!猎人怒吼道，哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了? 英语笑话带中文翻译：As If Awakening From A Dream 如梦初醒 A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… " A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy." 以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……” 这时一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地!” 英语笑话带中文翻译：At Auction Fair 拍卖会上 At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document. The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her." On hearing the news, another chap(小伙子，家伙) shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars." 拍卖会上，有人的包丢了，里面装有重要文件。物主说：“有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。” 话刚出口，就听有人喊：“我出300美元。” 英语笑话带中文翻译：Calming your son 让你儿子静下来 In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫)baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert." A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(称赞，表扬) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert." The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert." 一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。" 站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。” 男人看着那位女士说：“太太，我是阿尔伯特。
小小小小野
英语笑话带中文
最有魅力的人是“康师傅”每天都有成千上万的人泡他。以下为您带来英语笑话带中文，欢迎浏览!
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"
中文翻译：
维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗?那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
一个生意人走进一家酒馆，在吧台坐下，点了一杯加冰的双料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又让服务员把杯子满上。
After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
喝完，生意人又往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又让服务生帮他把杯子满上。
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
这时酒馆的服务生说话了，“呃，老兄，我整个晚上给你倒martini都没有问题，但你得告诉我，你为什么在点下一杯酒前都要往自己衬衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的`一张照片。如果照片上的人开始变得好看起来，那就说明我喝得差不多了，该回家了。”
Little boy: Daddy, I want to get married.
Father jokingly said: Oh! Who did you have in mind?
Little boy: Grandma.
Father: Wait a minute, you did not think I'd let you marry my mother, did you?
Little boy: Why not? You married mine.
中文翻译：
小男孩：爸爸，我想结婚。
爸爸打趣地问道：噢!谁是你心中合适的人选?
小男孩：奶奶。
爸爸：等一下，你认为我会让你娶我的妈妈?
小男孩：为什么不?你娶了我的妈妈。
Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.
"We've been married fifteen years," one woman said, "and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food."
"How terrible!" exclaimed the other. "Does it bother you?"
"Why should it bother me?" her friend replied. "if he can't only stand his own cooking?"
现代生活
两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。
“我们结婚十五年了，”一个妇女说道，“每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。”
“真可恶!”另一个惊呼道。“难道你不烦吗?”
“我烦什么?”她的朋友答道。“他不过是忍受不了自己的烹调技术。”
优质英语培训问答知识库
