帅气小王子…
1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”
“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogs
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Does
your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”
一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”
店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”
这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”
店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”
4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙
6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”
“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
爱吃牛蛙的鱼
1、Tell a lie Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?" Victor: "I want that one of the greatest." Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one." Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?" 妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多？” 维克多：“我要那只最大的。” 妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。” 维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗？” 2、I Don't Like an Argument 我不想争论 Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth? It's round, answered Gerald. How do you know it's round? continued the teacher. All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it! 杰拉尔德，老师问：地球是什么形状？ 是圆形的，杰拉尔德回答道。 你怎么知道是圆的？老师又问。 好吧，那它是方的，学生回答说：我可不想与你争论这件事情。 3、Two Birds 两只鸟 Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 4、Three Turtles 三只乌龟 Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the *** allest one, " Go home and get the umbrella." The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee." "We won't," the other two promised. Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't ing back, so we might as well drink his coffee." Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go." 三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。” 最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。” “我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。 两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。” 正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。” 5、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒 Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class? Tom: I don't know, father. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father. 父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？ 汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。 父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？ 汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。 6、Where is the egg?鸡蛋在哪里? 老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师：“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生：在蛋糕里，先生 Where is the egg? Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher:Then where is the “egg"? Student:In the cake,Sir. 7、Powerful Evidence Geography teacher: Xiao Qiang,give me three reasons to prove the earth is round. Xiao Qiang: Mother says the earth is round.Father says the earth is round.And you say the earth is round. 强有力的证据 地理老师：小强，给我三条理由证明地球是圆的。 小强：妈妈说是圆的。爸爸说是圆的。您也说是圆的。 有趣的儿童英语笑话三.I Will Not Take a Bath 我不能愿意洗澡 我不愿意洗澡，我不愿意进到浴缸里。上个星期我洗澡了，我不需要再洗澡。我想要我的橡皮鸭子，一个水桶和一只船，我的玩具鲸鱼，一艘潜水艇，一个橡皮球。现在我不能洗澡了。浴缸太小了，它被玩具塞满了，没有我的地方了。 I will not take a bath, I won’t get in tub, I has bath last week. I don’t need another scrub. I would need my rubber ducky, a bucket and a boat, my toy whale, a submarine, a rubber ball. No, I can not take a bath. The tub is too *** all. It’s all filled up with toy. There’s no room for me. zhl201612
