一脚踢飞你
The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫,这只猫很老,它跑不快了,也咬不了东西,因为它年纪太大了。一天,老猫发现一只老鼠,它跳过去抓这只老鼠,然而,它咬不住这只老鼠。因此,老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了,因为老猫咬不了它。 于是,老妇很生气,因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫,猫说:“不要打你的老仆人,我已经为你服务了很多年,而且还愿意为你效劳,但是,我实在太老了,对年纪大的不要这么无情,要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river." He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【译文】 一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去,当他沿着路走时,在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果,他说:“我不打算吃那些苹果,因为富人会给我更多的食物,他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果,一把扔到土里去。 他继续走,来到河边,河涨水了,因此,他到不了河对岸,他等了一会儿,然后他说:“今天我去不了富人家了,因为我不能渡过河。” 他开始回家,那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的,他找到苹果,很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。 不要把好东西扔掉,换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。 The City Mouse and the Country Mouse Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city." The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid. After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid." 【译文】 城里老鼠和乡下老鼠 从前,有两只老鼠,它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村,另一只住在城里。很多年以后,乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠,它说:“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是,城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说:“这东西不好吃,你的家也不好,你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢?你应该搬到城里去住,你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子,还会吃上美味佳肴,你应该到我城里的家看看。” 乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮,好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候,听见很大的一阵响声,城里的老鼠叫喊起来:“快跑!快跑!猫来了!”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。 过了一会儿,他们出来了。当他们出来时,乡下老鼠说:“我不喜欢住在城里,我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在,比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说,要好些。” Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow". 老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行". A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
胖小咪咪
英语幽默故事带翻译
英语幽默故事带翻译一:
DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU? One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?" "No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.
一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,发现他全做对了。老师很高兴,同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说:"蒂姆,你这次的作业全都做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?" "不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做了。"
英语幽默故事带翻译二:
Fishing Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them. On the way home, Harry fiddled with a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, "Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost $2,000?" "Wow!" Larry said, "It's a good thing we didn't catch any more."
拉里和哈里驱车500英里去钓鱼。两人花了一大笔钱租了一间小屋,又花了差不多同样的钱租了一条船。两人钓了三天,只钓到一条鱼。 在回家的路上,拉里开车,哈里拨弄着计算器。一小时后,哈里说:“你可知道我们钓的`这条鱼几乎用掉我们2000美元?” “哇!”拉里应答:“幸亏我们没有多钓到鱼。”
英语幽默故事带翻译三:
Letter of Recommendation When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation." The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter the next day. The following morning, Peters found a letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for 11 years. When he left us, we were very satisfied."
彼得斯听说自己被解雇了,便去见人力资源部的头头。“既然我在公司干了这么久,”他说,“我想至少该给我一封推荐信。” 人力资源部主任同意了,并说他第二天就可拿到该信。第二天早上,彼得斯在他的桌子上看 一封信,上面写道:“乔纳森•彼得斯在我们公司干了11年。当他离去的时候,我们很满意。”
阿雯雯777
1、英语幽默小故事:Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains! The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts! The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE. 幽默故事翻译:中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。 2、英语幽默小故事:Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other. Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys. Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here, the matron said. Oh, that‘s all right, answered Joan. I‘m his sister. I‘m very pleased to meet you, the matron said, I‘m his mother! 幽默故事翻译: 在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作,当然遇到了许多男士,包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说,“我明天就要出国,但如果我们能够相互写信,我会很高兴。”琼同意了,于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来,他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信,告诉她,他受伤了,住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院,她对护士长说,“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。” “这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。 “噢,是的,”琼说,“我是他的妹妹。” “很高兴认识你,”护士长说,“我是他的母亲。”
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