英式英语幽默讽刺

英式幽默英语笑话

女人为什么既美丽又愚蠢?

A husband said to his wife, "Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"

"Well," his wife answered at once. "The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them."

一位丈夫对他的妻子说：“为什么上帝把妇女创造得如此美丽却又愚蠢呢?”

“噢，”他的妻子立刻回答道，“原因很简单。上帝使我们如此美丽，男人才会爱我们。上帝使我们如此愚蠢，我们才会嫁给他们。”

一只死苍蝇

Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter: Yes, sir, I know, it's the heat that kills it.

史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇。

服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的。

昂贵的.建议

The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem. "Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.

"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."

"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."

When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read: "For legal services, $50."

大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。“你认为我应该向她收费吗?”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。

“有什么不应该?”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。”

“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。”

第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。信中写道：“请付法律服务费50美元。”

我教老师

Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?

Nothing, Mum, answered the son proudly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.

母亲问她年幼的儿子：宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么?

儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。

一个秘密

A: "This matter I just tell you one person, you must the secret for me."

B: "Trust, not only I want secret for you, I will tell everybody to be secret for you."

甲：“这件事我只告诉你一人，请你千万为我保密。”

乙：“放心，不但我要为你保密，我还要告诉大家都来为你保密。”

对英国人自己来说所谓的幽默也和佛教说禅一样是一种只可意会不可言传的东西。英式幽默用字比较深入,夹杂着当地文化换句话说, 就算是你听懂他们的用字,也很难搞懂真正的意思。英式幽默在于 "讽刺" (Sarcasm)。所以而当你也会"反唇相讥" 时, 就代表你的英文也够好了。不过如果你对英国文学或历史没有一定的了解，你还是幽不起来。英式幽默，我们一般很难看到过分夸张的表演，他们总是让现实中的一些普通的东西在最不合理的地方出现，最正常的话，在最古怪的地方出现。事实上，周星驰的无厘头风格完全是英式幽默中的一种而已。这有点象中国的相声，相声接近于英式喜剧，特别是老一辈的相声演员，你很少看到他们有很丰富，很复杂的表情和动作，但是，听着就那么可乐。