搞笑英语话剧6人

FORREST (voice-over) That Momma, she sure was right. It's funny how things work out. EXT. BAYOU LA BATRE/BUBBA'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY Forrest walks up to a shack on the edge of the Bayou. A group of black kids play in the front yard. FORREST (voice-over) I didn't stay home for long, because I'd made a promise to Bubba. And I always try to keep my promise. So I went on down to Bayou La Batre to meet Bubba's family and make their introduction. Bubba's mother named MRS. BLUE and her other children look at Forrest. MRS. BLUE Are you crazy, or just plain stupid? FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, Mrs. Blue. MRS. BLUE I guess. EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE - DAY Forrest steps over to Bubba's tombstone. FORREST (voice-over) And of course, I paid my respect to Bubba himself. FORREST Hey, Bubba, it's me, Forrest Gump. I remember everything you said, and I got it all figured out. Forrest pulls out notes from his pocket. FORREST I'm taking the twenty-four thousand, five hundred and six-two dollars and forty-seven cents that I got... EXT. BAYOU - DAY Forrest walks across a yard where men are cleaning shrimp. FORREST (voice-over) ... well, that's left after a new hair cut and a new suit and I took Momma out to real fancy dinner and I bought a bus ticket and three Doctor Peppers. Forrest walks along a wooden pier. Forrest pays an old black shrimper a large wad of cash. OLD SHRIMPER Tell me something. Are you stupid or something? FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, sir. EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE Forrest stands at the grave. FORREST Well, that's what's left after me saying, "When I was in China on the All-America Ping-Pong Team, I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flex-O-Ping-Pong Paddle." Which everybody knows it isn't true, but Momma says it's just a little white lie so it wouldn't hurt nobody. So, anyway, I'm putting all that on gas, ropes and new nets and a brand-new shrimpin' boat. EXT. BAYOU - DAY Forrest steers his shrimping boat. The boat is old and rusty. Forrest unleashes his nets as his catch of the day drops to the deck. It is a bunch of garbage and shells. Forrest picks up one shrimp. FORREST (voice-over) Now, Bubba had told me everything he knows about shrimpin', but you know what I found out? Shrimpin' is tough. EXT. DOCKS Forrest pulls a couple of shrimp out of a bucket. FORREST I only caught five. OLD SHRIMPER A couple of more, you can have yourself a cocktail. The old shrimper begins to walk away, then stops and looks at Forrest. OLD SHRIMPER Hey, you ever think about namin' this old boat? FORREST (voice-over) I'd never named a boat before, but there was only one I could think of. Forrest paints a name on the side of his boat. The name is "Jenny." FORREST (voice-over) The most beautiful name in the wide world.译文：福勒斯特(画外音),妈妈,但她绝对是对的。这是有趣的事情怎么工作。分机。河口啦BATRE /布巴的妈妈的家——的一天福勒斯特走到一间小木屋在边缘的河口。一群黑人孩子踢前面的院子。福勒斯特(画外音)我没在家待太长时间,因为我犯了一个保证布巴。我总是努力保持我的承诺。所以我就下到河口啦Batre满足布巴的家庭和使他们的介绍。布巴的母亲给布鲁太太和她的其他孩子看,福勒斯特。布鲁太太你是不是疯了,还是天生就这么蠢?福勒斯特蠢人做蠢事,夫人蓝色的。布鲁太太我猜一猜。分机。布巴的坟墓——天福勒斯特步骤到布巴的墓碑上。福勒斯特(画外音)当然,我也去看望了布巴本人。福勒斯特:嘿,布巴,是我,福勒斯特•甘普。我记得你说的一切,我让所有事情都盘算好了。福勒斯特从口袋里掏出笔记。福勒斯特,我将花二万四千、五百和六十二美元和美分,我得到……47个分机。河口——天福勒斯特横跨一个院子的男人都是清洁虾。福勒斯特(画外音)……嗯,这是一个新发型后留下的和新衣服,我把妈妈去豪华晚宴而我买了车票和三个医生辣椒。福勒斯特沿着一个木制的码头。福勒斯特一个老黑shrimper支付一大把的钞票。老SHRIMPER告诉我一些。你是蠢还是什么?福勒斯特蠢人做蠢事,先生。分机。布巴的坟墓福勒斯特站在坟墓。福勒斯特好,那就是后留下的我、说、“我中国乒乓球队,我All-America而已我喜欢打乒乓球,Flex-O-Ping-Pong之中。”,每个人都知道这不是真的,但是妈妈说的话吗这只是一个小小的善意谎言,这样它就不会伤害到任何人。所以,无论如何,我把所有的气体、绳子和新的网、全新的shrimpin的船。分机。河口——天福勒斯特steers虾船。他这只船是古老而生锈。福勒斯特释放他的网作为他钓的一天滴到甲板上。它是一堆垃圾和贝壳。福勒斯特捡起一个虾。福勒斯特(画外音)现在,布巴曾告诉过我所有他知道的关于shrimpin ',但你知道我发现吗?Shrimpin”是很难的。分机。码头福勒斯特拉两虾的桶里。阿甘我仅仅看到了五个。一对老SHRIMPER更多的,你可以你有一个鸡尾酒会。旧的shrimper开始走开,然后停止,看着,福勒斯特。老SHRIMPER嘿,你曾经想过namin '这旧船吗?福勒斯特(画外音)我从未命名一艘船之前,但是只有一个我能想到的。福勒斯特漆边上的一名他的船。名称为“珍妮。”福勒斯特(画外音)最美丽的名字在这广阔的世界。

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） Source: 2007-03-30 12:03:58 恒星英语学习网 Favorite Wanderseveryfivemiles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy wifeisWuSong. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom? MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme, smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):Ican! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum? JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”. L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup? JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Neverinterruptme! L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken and…… JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下) Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I’mback! LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened? L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten tome.Lookatyourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Neverinterruptme! L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto. LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo andtellhim.(下) L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下) Act3 (J睡眼惺忪上) J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty! (突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself. JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet? J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone! JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice girl,goandtakeherback! J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam! Act4 (J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous! Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚) AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney! J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken! B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight! C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand robthewedding! A&B:Goodidea! J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible! AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple! J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet! (突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride. B:Haveyougotanyexperience? J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000) Act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous! A:Theroadisbuiltbyme! B:AndIplantedonetree. C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet--- J:Giveusallyourmoney! (L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头) L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后) (MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒) J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去） (J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou? L(哭状):Ihurtalot! J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下) L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下) (音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)

英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money Scene1（At Salesman’s home） N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces! 另一个 白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on. 白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.) 皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you. 皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly. AprilFool'sDay N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies! F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family. Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye! N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man. U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please? F: Ok, here. U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck! N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly. D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great! （上前抓木棒,却被粘在上面） Oh! Dear! I can't leave it! （吃惊地） D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you! （走向木棒） D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous! D2: You can come, so I can come, too! （也被粘在木棒上） Oh, my god! What's wrong with me? D1: What a pity! N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girl followed him. In the field they met an old scientist. S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. （抓stick ,也被粘住） Oh! Bad luck! Terrible! N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed. King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife. F: Let me try , Perhaps I can. N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed. k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your 生辰八字. Which day is your birthday? F: April 1.转自： K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?! N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool". 《臭脚的故事》英语话剧剧本 A Story about Love and Stinky Feet by Dr. Sofia Chen陈南妤 超级搞笑,哈哈哈 从前,一个巫婆有一双臭脚,人们都很讨厌.所以,她想找一个人换掉她的双脚. 有一天她来到"香国" .她发现,人人都有双香脚.一天王子午睡,巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚. 有一位公主,她总是失眠.虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法,她还不能睡觉.国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿. 最后,他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡,她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚,然后她将睡得很好. 最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起. 人物 Ada: Little girl Candy: Queen Evander: King Evelyn Joel: Prince Rita: Singer /Woman Yilina: Witch -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet. There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”. Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep. The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter. And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together. SCENE I (One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book) Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story! Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They smelt worse than stinky tofu. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. Witch: （screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence. More and more people fall for my…my … feet! Oh no, my feet! I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet. The smell of my feet can kill mice. Oh, I don’t want to live. I want to fly away! （Flying to the Fragrance country） Witch: (Crying) I hate my feet! I hate my feet! (in a low voice) Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet. (Searching) Oh. What a handsome boy. (Come closer and take a deep breath) Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair! (Angrily) Not fair! Look, he’s sleeping and snoring. Let me exchange my feet with his! (Doing magic and laughing loudly) Oh, my feet. You smell so sweet! Now I’m really the most charming witch. (Fly away) Prince: (Asleep and dreaming) Oh! What a beautiful girl you are! You are my only one – my dear princess. Prince: (Wake up!) Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell! The room smells of stinky tofu. Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no! It’s my feet. I have a pair of stinky feet. How did it happen? (Hold on to his head.)(Run away) I can’t believe it! SCENE II (The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.) Prince: Oh~ there are many crows. Crow A: Please go away… Crow B: Quickly! It’s full of bad smell here. Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Oh! I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~! (Prince continues to walk. He sees some flowers.) Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers. Flower A: Oh! I can’t live without fresh air. Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please. Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad. (Prince continues to walk.) Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back. (Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.) Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes. Stranger B: Oh! Don’t talk nonsense. Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from. It’s him. /span> Prince: I can’t believe it! My disgusting feet have magic power! Queen: Oh! Don’t say that! They are not disgusting at all. Congratulations! You are going to marry my dear daughter. King: Yes! This is a happy ending. Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet. And then, she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.