玉帝偶吧
《纽约时报》（The New York Times）是一份在美国纽约出版的报纸，在全世界发行，有相当的影响力。它有时也被戏称为“灰色女士”（The Gray Lady）或简称为“时报”（The Times）。它最初的名字是“纽约每日时报”（The New-York Daily Times），创始人是亨利 J 雷蒙德和乔治 琼斯。他们当时打算发行一份比较严肃的报纸，来打破当时在纽约盛行的花花绿绿的新闻报道方式。在1851年9月18日它的首刊中该报写到：“今天我们发行纽约每日时报的首刊，我们打算在今后无限期内每天早晨（周日除外）发行一刊。”《泰晤士报》隶属于鲁珀特•梅铎的新闻集团。长期以来，《泰晤士报》一直被认为是英国的第一主流大报，被誉为“英国社会的忠实记录者”。《泰晤士报》在英国国内政治和国际关系问题上扮演了重要角色。在被默多克收购之后，有指《泰晤士报》的风格逐渐趋向保守。
木易木每
The New York Times. 英语笑话：To be on the Safe Side In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer. A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row: "Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?" " Yes, but it doesn''t really matter. It didn''t hurt at all." "Oh, no, it isn''t that. I only want to make sure that this is my row." 保证没走错在一家电影院里，一名观众在演出期间站了起来，沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。几分钟后，他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道： “对不起，请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你的脚吗？” “是的，不过没什么关系，一点也不疼。” “噢，不，我不是这个意思。我只是想确认一下这是不是我的那排位子。” 妈妈太忙 作业没做不是她的错 Teacher: Mike, you’re always asking your father to do your homework instead, and again this time... 老师：迈克，你老是叫你的父亲替你做作业，这次又…… 壹壹英语考试 Mike: Pardon, sir, this time at first I would not let him do it, but mother was too busy. 迈克：对不起，老师，这次作业我本不打算让爸爸替我做，可妈妈实在太忙。 Always Thirsty "I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!" 总感到口渴 一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。” “真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？” “不疼，可是我总感到口渴。” The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?" 狗也知道这个谚语吗 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。 “没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”加分吧！！！
