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英语短篇笑话
看英语笑话,开心学习英语!
1、
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人:哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”
2、
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺爱,宠爱) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?""Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点,可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭,就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的.怀抱。约翰放学了,他奶奶在门口接他并问道:“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”“哭?”约翰问,“不,我没哭,可老师哭了。”
3、
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
这个病人显得很坚决。“医生,我需要做肝脏移植、肾脏移植、心脏移植、角膜移植、脾脏移植、胰腺移植和……” “你为什么认为你需要做这么多移植手术?”病人回答:“哦,是这样,我的老板说如果我这个人不重新组装的话,就别想保住我的工作!”
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北条真理
2015经典英语笑话
2015经典英语笑话一:
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down(砍下) his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"Blonde: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
2015经典英语笑话二:
A guy hosted a dinner party for people from work, including his boss.All during the sit-down dinner, the host's three-year-old girl stared at her father's boss sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He tried his best to ignore her but, finally it was too much for him.He asked her, "Why are you staring at me.?"Everyone at the table had noticed her behaviour and the table went quiet for her response.The little girl said, "My Daddy said you drink like a fish and I don't want to miss it!"
2015经典英语笑话三:
Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic(算术) , and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store."How much are the apples?" he asked the store."Six for five cents.""But I don't want six apples.""How many apples do you want?""It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic.""What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man."Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you."Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.