英语剧本简单搞笑

初一英语搞笑话剧剧本

话剧创作的'特点.比较突出的表现是创作风格的平民化,反映普通人生活,塑造普通人形象,成为话剧艺术家十分关注的题材。以下是初一英语搞笑话剧剧本，欢迎阅读。

Justice Is The Winner(正义必胜)

by Cecilia Liu 刘怡芬

5人短剧。搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。

人物

Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen

Eliza Lin: Daughter

Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside

Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)

Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)

SCENE I

A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.

Mom: Hello~

Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.

Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!

The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…

Mom: Hello~

Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?

Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.

Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~)

Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)

But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…

Mom: Eliza~

Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?

Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.

Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.

SCENE II英语剧本大全ww.coffbar.com

Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.

The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.

The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.

Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head)

Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.

At this moment, the girl appears.

Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?

Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.

Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!

Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!

Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!

Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?

Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?

Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.

Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.

Eliza: Never mind!

Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there?

Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…

Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.

Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.

Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~

Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.

Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!

Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.

Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.

Eliza goes with the gangsters.

In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, “Don’t move!” Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.

Eliza: What are you doing?

Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!

Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.

Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?

Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.

Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!

Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!

Eliza keeps crying.

Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!

Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed)

Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)

Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.

Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.

SCENE III

Mother is preparing dinner.

Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!

No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.

Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek with me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.

As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.

Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!

Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.

Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!

Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!

Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!

Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)

Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop.

The gangster takes the phone away.

Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.

Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.

Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?

Mom: Bargain is my hobby.

Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.

Mom: O.K. See you then!

At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.

Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)

The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor.

Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?

Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.

Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?

Big gangster: Where is the ransom?

Mom: Release my daughter first!

Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!

Mom: No way!

And the battle begins.

Mom: Justice is always the winner.

Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!

Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.

Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved.

Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?

Small gangster: I……

Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)

Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.

Eliza: Me! Me!

Celine: What do you want to say?

Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!

Mom: My turn. My turn.

Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?

Mom: Well……

Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle.

Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…

Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.

Mom: Right. And they…

Celine: They want to trick you, but…

Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.

Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.

绝对是搞笑英语剧本:Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company. This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo! I finally finish this case. It is really tough! I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too .I always get so busy in this season. I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much. What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case?Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right. Let’s pig out on junk food!Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown. I miss German food!Ca: so do I .how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before. Do you have any recommendation?Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checseCi: They all sound yummy. But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families?Wing&Ca: NoCi: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted .Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me .what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together. I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great! That is fantastic. Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplingsWing: Very good idea! We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”Ca: sure, here you are .what s next?Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together .be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softerWing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it .shall I blend them?CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well. A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared .lets start!CiCi: Wait! I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these?Ca: Wow! Cheese! Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God. Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life. Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

《 荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊.”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?）李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero,we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?难道你真的想要吗……荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯,击掌）Yeah!

英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money Scene1（At Salesman’s home） N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces! 另一个 白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on. 白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.) 皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you. 皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly. AprilFool'sDay N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies! F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family. Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye! N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man. U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please? F: Ok, here. U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck! N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly. D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great! （上前抓木棒,却被粘在上面） Oh! Dear! I can't leave it! （吃惊地） D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you! （走向木棒） D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous! D2: You can come, so I can come, too! （也被粘在木棒上） Oh, my god! What's wrong with me? D1: What a pity! N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girl followed him. In the field they met an old scientist. S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. （抓stick ,也被粘住） Oh! Bad luck! Terrible! N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed. King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife. F: Let me try , Perhaps I can. N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed. k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your 生辰八字. Which day is your birthday? F: April 1.转自： K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?! N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool". 《臭脚的故事》英语话剧剧本 A Story about Love and Stinky Feet by Dr. Sofia Chen陈南妤 超级搞笑,哈哈哈 从前,一个巫婆有一双臭脚,人们都很讨厌.所以,她想找一个人换掉她的双脚. 有一天她来到"香国" .她发现,人人都有双香脚.一天王子午睡,巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚. 有一位公主,她总是失眠.虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法,她还不能睡觉.国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿. 最后,他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡,她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚,然后她将睡得很好. 最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起. 人物 Ada: Little girl Candy: Queen Evander: King Evelyn Joel: Prince Rita: Singer /Woman Yilina: Witch -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet. There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”. Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep. The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter. And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together. SCENE I (One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book) Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story! Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They smelt worse than stinky tofu. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. Witch: （screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence. More and more people fall for my…my … feet! Oh no, my feet! I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet. The smell of my feet can kill mice. Oh, I don’t want to live. I want to fly away! （Flying to the Fragrance country） Witch: (Crying) I hate my feet! I hate my feet! (in a low voice) Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet. (Searching) Oh. What a handsome boy. (Come closer and take a deep breath) Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair! (Angrily) Not fair! Look, he’s sleeping and snoring. Let me exchange my feet with his! (Doing magic and laughing loudly) Oh, my feet. You smell so sweet! Now I’m really the most charming witch. (Fly away) Prince: (Asleep and dreaming) Oh! What a beautiful girl you are! You are my only one – my dear princess. Prince: (Wake up!) Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell! The room smells of stinky tofu. Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no! It’s my feet. I have a pair of stinky feet. How did it happen? (Hold on to his head.)(Run away) I can’t believe it! SCENE II (The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.) Prince: Oh~ there are many crows. Crow A: Please go away… Crow B: Quickly! It’s full of bad smell here. Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Oh! I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~! (Prince continues to walk. He sees some flowers.) Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers. Flower A: Oh! I can’t live without fresh air. Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please. Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad. (Prince continues to walk.) Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back. (Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.) Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes. Stranger B: Oh! Don’t talk nonsense. Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from. It’s him. /span> Prince: I can’t believe it! My disgusting feet have magic power! Queen: Oh! Don’t say that! They are not disgusting at all. Congratulations! You are going to marry my dear daughter. King: Yes! This is a happy ending. Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet. And then, she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.