尛小尛111
The Mean Man's Party 吝啬鬼的聚会 The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"2:老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。” 小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去? 小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!3:hey,that lady, i like you ,will you be my girlfiend? -oh,sorry ,i think you have to make your face changed first, you are too handsome to be looked at. everybody was dancing while a blonde alone in an armchair. just then, she was happy to see a handsome young man coming towards her. "are you going to dancing ?"asked the man pleassntly. "yes,"she whispered. 4:how are you ?怎么是你? how old are you ?怎么老是你?
思美味520
搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》 Wanders every five miles 焦仲卿Johnny(J for short)刘兰芝Lunch(L for short) 焦母Johnny's mother(JM for short)刘母Lunch’s mother(LM for short) 太守之子Mayor’s son(MS for short)强盗Burglars(ABandC) (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:Every body says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is Wu Song. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) My God!Who can help me?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):I can! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’s up mum? JM:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”. L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up? JM:Since you married my son you have be haved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Never interrupt me! L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and…… JM:But all those you have done a renotas valuable as a grandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)Goandas k your son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下) Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I’m back! LM:You are back?Why?What happened? L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Never interrupt me! L:Mum,I’m no tinterrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to. LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor’s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter Haven’t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go and tell him.(下) L(惊愕):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下) Act3(J睡眼惺忪上) J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are still dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself. JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’s Lunch?Hasn’t she got up yet? J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone! JM(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,as on without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice girl,go and take her back! J(立正敬礼):Yes madam! Act4 (J开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Hey you!Stop and listent to us! The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头,但踩到了A的脚) AB&C:Give us all your money! J(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):Is1 mao enough? (三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量) A:What bad luck!This guy is broken! B:If we cannot rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight! C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan zhi next month.WE can go and rob the wedding! A&B:Good idea! J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible! AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple! J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet! (突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’t you?I’ll go with you.You take the money and I take the bride. B:Have you got any experience? J:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000) Act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期.MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us! A:The road is built by me! B:And I planted one tree. C:If you want to go by this street--- J:Give us all your money! (L听到J的声音,掀起了盖头) L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后) (MS大怒,挥拳向J打来.J矮身一躲,MS打中了J身后的L,L晕倒) J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!(挥拳向MS冲去) (J与MS混战,JM上,以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L,关切地问):Honey,how are you? L(哭状):I hurt a lot! J:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下) L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下) (音乐起 Can You Celebrate)
社会大学i
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wangyuting3573
经典的重点大学经常演出的英语话剧:《威尼斯商人》《孔雀东南飞》《老爸英明》《爱的阳光》《毕业生》《白雪公主》
前段时间学校英语节舞台剧比赛,排的《哈姆雷特》
热爱每一刻
大学英语话剧剧本 (一)
The rhythm of love
Actors: 孔上海 丁宗玉 冯杰 朱媛媛 赵红玉 冯芳报幕:李彩丽
X:孔上海 J: 冯杰 W:朱媛媛 D:丁宗玉 Y: 冯芳 Z: 赵红玉(总道具:一个可以撕页的卡)
第一幕:
道具:凳子两个,棒棒糖。
人物:孔上海 冯杰 朱媛媛
(冯杰and 朱媛媛 唱歌入场 《Girlfriend》艾薇儿)(冯杰 and 朱媛媛 唱完后 找个凳子坐下 做聊天状)孔上海: Today, there is a dance party, I join in and want to find my girl!! Where are you, my girl!!!(手势动作)(孔上海走到朱媛媛面前端详, 当朱媛媛伸出手以为要请她跳舞时候,孔上海马上跳到冯杰面前,给棒棒糖,唱老鼠爱大米英文版,然后两人到台前)孔上海: I have fell in love with you!
冯杰: It’s too rapid! I can’t confront it.
孔上海: Ok! Shall we try to live some day to be suitable to each other?
冯杰: Although I admit you are a food boy, but…孔上海: Ok. So much for today. I will send text messages to you tonight, wait for me, my sweet!
冯杰:……
(孔,冯杰退下 朱媛媛起身 上前走一步,先回头张望)(背景音乐响起《Right Here Waiting》)朱媛媛: Not every one you loved is suitable to you, and you will lose a chance to get a better one I will be waiting for you until I change my mind…(语速变缓)第二幕:
道具:凳子两个,外套一件(先放在地上),饭盒一个,英语书。
人物:孔上海 冯杰 朱媛媛
(朱媛媛先进来,带上饭盒 放在孔上海的座位上,恋恋不舍离开并一边回头张望,然后坐到自己位置上,拿起书看)(孔上海入场,先是看到了饭盒,很奇怪,端起)孔上海:It’s strange! 朱媛媛,is it yours?
朱媛媛: No ! it’s yours.
孔上海: Ok that’s fine . No matter who it belongs , I’m hungry now , eating is a good choice.
(冯杰进来,看到孔上海在吃饭)
冯杰: Is it delicious? Wish you have a good time!
(冯杰然后走开 走到门外)
(孔上海走向前台 指着冯杰)
孔上海: It’s she bring the food! She is concerned about me!!
(高兴状,然后回去, 睡觉了)
(朱媛媛看到孔上海睡觉了就偷偷摸摸的过去,给他加衣服,此时冯杰在门口进来 刚好看到)(朱媛媛做出可爱状 恋恋不舍状,慢慢走开 碰到冯杰)朱媛媛: Hi 冯杰!
冯杰: Hi 朱媛媛! Nice to meet you .
(朱媛媛急急忙忙走开,冯杰走进去,回了回头 很用力的砸书,孔上海被惊醒)第三幕:
道具: 纸做的棒子一个,木棒子一个,水桶(纸做的`也可以), 新华字典,新华字典书皮,大话西游草稿。(音乐:敢问路在何方)赵红玉: Hi, boy! It looks like you have lost your girl friend, right?
孔上海: Yes. How do you get to know?
赵红玉: 贫道
冯芳: first blood! (打赵红玉…)
赵红玉: 贫僧 come from china! I’m the master of Buddhism.
孔上海: I know you! You have three students: a monkey a pig and a monster. It’s you 去西天取经赵红玉: no ! not 去西天取经,but 去西天拜堂成亲。
(孔上海做出惊讶状)
赵红玉: I have a good book only sold ten yuan … do you want to get one?
孔上海: 葵花宝典?
赵红玉: no no no 新华字典!!!(撕下书皮)Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it, if I was to meet him again, I wish to say I love you. if you would ask me how long I would love him, I would say ten thousands years. That man is you the only man I love in this world is you .only you(sing)冯芳: stop! Double kill! (并打赵红玉…) 孔上海, listen carefully and then answer the questions, do you like eating pork?
孔上海: yes! It’s my favorite!
冯芳: tripe kill!! (并打孔上海…) I’m 猪八戒 , the most clever beautiful handsome bright pig in the world!!!
赵红玉: 八戒! I persuade you many times that you not play too many computer games! especially 魔兽争霸 and dota!!
冯芳: I had a girl called 嫦娥… I have a dream that one day this love will rise up ,it’s a dream deeply rooted in the dream! Oh!!嫦娥!!! I miss you!!!!
孔上海: oh??? 高翠兰is there.
冯芳: where? Where? 翠兰!!I’m coming!!
(冯芳马上跑了过去,赵红玉追了过去 边喊 八戒!八戒!)孔上海: a silly pig. My classmates had three girl friends called 嫦娥。
第四幕:紧箍
(冯杰 丁宗玉上场)
冯杰: 丁宗玉, I’m your girl friend now. Tomorrow, would you love me as today?
丁宗玉: oh my silly girl, why would you say so ? I’m a man with responsibility, you are my first girl !
冯杰: 丁宗玉, I trust you forever……
(冯杰,丁宗玉开始拿到冰激凌的盒子, 丁宗玉喂冯杰吃,此时孔上海上场,做四处张望状)孔上海: 冯杰! Where are you!! You are my girl!
(此时看到冯杰,丁宗玉 在亲密, 孔上海 冲了过去)孔上海: 冯杰 ! You are here! I’m looking for you all night! (生气 惊讶状)who is he? Why will you get along with him?
冯杰: get out! I hate you! you are a cheat , 朱媛媛 is your girl , right?
孔上海: no!朱媛媛is just my classmate, why do you think so? (此时孔上海上前想要解释 不小心把冯杰推倒, 冯杰做倒地状)…(此时丁宗玉 上前,一把打倒孔上海, 孔上海倒地)孔上海: 冯杰! I defeat him! You know you are my only girl and I love you so much that I can do anything for you!
(此时 赵红玉,冯芳上场 看到丁宗玉 做出惊讶状 )赵红玉: Wukong(丁宗玉)! Why do you stay here? We are going to Xitian!
丁宗玉: oh my god!!! Master tang … I just have some little thing, could you wait a moment?
赵红玉: Wukong ! You are as naughty as before.(开始念紧箍咒)(丁宗玉 开始痛苦)
冯杰: No !! 丁宗玉!! You are not my boy! You are sun wukong! Oh my lady gaga!!! You are just a monkey!!!
冯芳: Brother monkey! What are you doing! I will tell all happened to 紫霞仙子…丁宗玉: Oh no!! You silly pig!!! Wait!! Wait!!
(赵红玉,冯芳 开始走了, 丁宗玉马上追上)(音乐: 梁静茹《可惜不是你》)
第五幕:
道具:优乐美
(孔上海 继续倒在地上, 朱媛媛 走过来 扶起他)朱媛媛: You know you can lose a chance but no second to get a better one I will be waiting for you and miss you until I change my mind…孔上海: Really? I’m sure you are the best girl for me(朱媛媛 拿出奶茶)
朱媛媛: Do you know who you are?
孔上海: I’m 孔上海! Any wrong?
朱媛媛: No ! You are this !
孔上海: Am I just a milky tea?
朱媛媛: You are my 优乐美!!!
(背景音乐响起:《蒲公英的约定》前奏)
(两人相扶而起,冯杰 进入视野,冯杰开始告白)(冯杰看到孔上海,朱媛媛在一起了,先顿了顿 然后走了过去)冯杰: I know ,I know … Not everyone I loved is suitable to me, and I will lose a chance to get one …孔上海: And no second choice to get a better one.
The End
大学英语话剧剧本 (二)
《May Dream Won't Come Ture》
Scene1
(学校食堂里,下课铃刚响)
Narrator:又一个上午过去了,食堂里迎来了新一轮的抢饭风暴。"襄樊学院广播台提醒各位抢饭同学注意形象,注意排队秩序".
(人潮涌进,餐桌上迅速被书和包占领,卖饭窗口前排成N条长龙,A与B小跑上场)A:Oh,no!There is no food again!We have already ran as fast as we can.
B:(看看手表)25 seconds today.We'd better run quickly tomorrow.
A:What a wonderful thing if we needn't(指那堆挤来挤去的人)like this!
B:Well.Let's go ,back to dormitory,eat the junk food!What's lesson this afternoon?
A:We have a listening examination.It's boring!I may sleeping again~Scene2
(A的办公室内)
Narrator:果然,下午的听力课上,A又睡着了,这次,她梦到了她的理想生活……(A坐在办公桌前,秘书走进)
秘书:Good morning,A.I'll tell you today's arrangement:You have two lessons in the morning,they are music class and P.E.Then a computer less on after lunch.That's all.
(秘书退至一旁,音乐老师推门进)
A:Morning.Please sit down.
音:(拿着几张CD)That's no need.I have nothing to teach today.Your homework is listen to these CDs.Among them,Jay Chou's new record is the most important.If you have nothing to answer,I'll go.
A:(翻看CD)All right.Goodbye!(停顿片刻)The next one!(体育老师上)A:Oh,should I wear athlete uniform?
体:Of course you needn't.In my class,you can just sit here and watch some sports match.So,which do you prefer,football or basketball?
A:Er…Baskerball is Okay.
体:Good!Boys,come on!(演员上场,表演花式篮球,配乐)体:Are you satisfied?
A:Em…just so-so.I hope to watch football next time.You may go now.
体:Ok.Have a good week!(体育老师下,秘书和服务员上)秘:A,It's time to have lunch.(退到一旁)服:Good afternoon.What do you want today?
A:Mmm…Today I just want to eat something cheap.Beafsteak and red wine,please.
服:Thank you.(鞠躬)Wait a moment,please.(下场,秘书上前整理书桌 ,A翻看杂志)秘:(整理完毕,打开文件夹)The computer teacher just called me that he would replace the lesson with a practise one in the Network Bar.So you can play the Crazy Dance on-line well.
A:Really?That's great.(饭菜送上)That's tips.
服:Thank you very much.(退场)
Scene3
Narrator:A下午的计算机课变成了网吧的实践课,这不,只见她奔腾地冲进了奔腾网吧,用183迈的速度将上下楼搜了个遍,猛然地发现座无虚席,于是她又奔腾地冲出了奔腾网吧,剑一样地射进了183.她今天的任务是练好劲舞团!
(A跑进网吧,找台电脑迅速坐下,开始游戏。音乐起,表演真人版劲舞团)(数分钟后)
A:(伸个懒腰)So great that my computer's homework has finished.
Scene4
Narrator:就这样,A无忧无虑地度过了大学四年,终于到了要找工作的时候,A却四处碰壁,听到的最多的一句话莫过于——面试官:(很礼貌地请A离开)I'm so sorry!
(A那着简历,垂头丧气地从台上走了一圈,脑海中不停回响那句话"Narrator:I'm so sorry……")Scene5
(听力考试的考场上,老师开始收卷,发现A在酣睡)Narrator:下午的听力测试要结束了,A的梦也该 醒了……老师:(很不耐烦地拍拍桌子,发现A仍然没醒,然后提高音量)Good afternoon!!!A!!!
A:(换个睡觉姿势)En…Beafsteak and red wine,please.This's tips.(抓起试卷递上去)老师:(看到空白的试卷,摇摇头)I'm so sorry!But I had to give you zero!You see, your paper is so clean!
(下课铃响,老师无奈离开,同学们纷纷冲出教室,只有B还等着A)B:Hey!(看表)You have delayed 7s.We have nothing to eat again!
A:(刚刚清醒)Wow,wonderful.It's just a dream!(欢呼)It's doesn't matter.It's not a bad choice to fight for food sometimes,isn't it?
B:Gosh!Were are you frightened by the terrible dream?
A:Why did you say that?It's really a wonderful dream.I think it will turn my life around(欢快语气)。
B:So you won't sleep in the class?
A:Of course.Let's go to the canteen!
B:Well,let's go!
Narrator:My dear friends,which life do you prefer to ,in the dream or in reality?(音乐起)~The End~
大学英语话剧剧本 (三)
by Betty Liao
Cast
George
Mancy
Ken
Tida
Annie
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Character descriptions:
(G)George - He majors in Environment Science. His roommates are Ken and Tida. They have a bad relationship. He thinks happiness is more important. His girlfriend is Mancy.
(K)Ken - He fools around all the time. He doesn’t know what kind of life he wants. He hates studying and doesn’t like to be blamed.
(T)Tida - He doesn’t want to spend time making friends with Ken and George. He likes to communicate with others by computer. Computer is his life.
(M)Mancy-She is George’s girlfriend. She doesn’t have her own ideas. She wants to be with George all the time. Because of the reason, she ignores Annie’s feelings.
(A)Annie -She is Mancy’s good friend. She likes Mancy. She is very weird so she hates Mancy’s friends. She wishes Mancy and George to break up. But she doesn’t like her evil thinking.
Plot:
There are three roommates who have a bad relationship, but a motorcycle accident changes their lives……SceneⅠ
(In Girls’ Dorm)
M: I like to eat noodles at Hung-Lin because everything’s so cheap there.
A: I know your favorite food is noodles because you can eat it as much as you can. So your lunch is noodles, and dinner noodles, too. You always say, "Annie, let’s go eat at Hung-Lin. (They walk hand in hand.)M: We’re friends. Our friendship will last forever. (They look at each other, and cross their fingers.)OS: Contrary to the girls, Tida, Ken and George have a bad relationship. They don’t like each other.
SceneⅡ
(Boys’ Dorm)
Mancy and George go to the room with laughter.
M: What’s the most important thing for you?
G: Happiness. I think happiness is the most important thing in the world.
M: Wow…I like your point. When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. But when you’re sad, you’re the only one that’s sad.
T: Be quiet, OK? I can’t concentrate on playing the computer games. Oh! I lost.
K: It’s too lousy for me to fall asleep.
(George and Mancy just keep talking.)
M: George, you’re so humorous.
T: (hits the desk) No more talking.
(At the same time, Ken runs out of the room by slamming the door loudly.
Annie calls Mancy.)
M: Hello, this is Mancy.
A: Mancy, it’s Annie. Where are you? I’ve been waiting for you for an hour. What happened?
M: I’m sorry, Annie, I forgot our appointment. Now I’m with …George……A: It’s okay, but I hope you can spend some time with your friends.
M: I know. Next time we’ll go out to have fun together.
SceneⅢ
(In class)
K: Sorry, I’m late.
(Everyone laughs at Ken because he looks funny.)K: Why did you lock me out? I could’t take my book bag, or change. I told you that I was just going to the toilet for a minute.
G: Oh. It’s not my fault. I went out first, you can ask Tida.
T: I didn’t hear what you said. I just concentrated on my computer games.
K: Come on! Are you kidding? I’m not happy about that. Please don’t do that again.
T: Oh…OK.
A: Hey, Mancy. How was the movie yesterday?
M: Hmm…I’d like to see the movie, but I had a date.
A: Who was with you? George?
M: Yes…
A: Mancy, I’m so disappointed that you fell in love with George, and you forgot me. You said we were friends forever. But …now George is all your life.
M: No matter what you said, we are friends forever.
A: I don’t think so.
K: Hey, Tida, George and Mancy are glued together all day. I think they come to our room too often to bother me doing homework.
T: I agree with you. I can’t play my computer games well.
(The bell is ringing. Everyone is out of class.)Scene Ⅳ
(On the road)
M: Where are we going?
G: We’re going to a nice place. I have a big surprise for you. You’ll be very interested in it.
M: Wow, I’m so excited. But you’re riding too fast.
G: That’s OK.
Oh, no! ( George and Mancy have a motorcycle accident.)SceneⅤ
(In the hospital)
M: Are you OK?
G: Oh…I’m OK. Don’t worry. How about you?
M: Just a little hurt.
G: I’m so sorry.
M: No, don’t say that.
G: But the surprise …
M: That’s OK. We can go to that special place next time. The doctor said we can leave. Can you walk by yourself?
G: Maybe I need a walking stick.
Scene Ⅵ
(In the boys’ dorm)
K: What happened to you?
G: I had a motorcycle accident.
T: Are you OK?
G: I’m fine, but it hurts a lot
K: How did it happen?
G: When I was making a turn, I was riding too fast, so I skidded.
T: Oh. Why did you ride so fast?
G: Because I like the feeling of riding motorcycles fast. That’s so exciting!
K: But it’s dangerous. You might get killed.
T: Yeah, Ken’s right. Safety is the only way to go home.
G: Well, I’ll be more careful in the future. Thanks for your advice.
T: You’re hurt. How are you going to class later?
K: We can help him go to class.本文转自 : That’s a good idea.
G: I really appreciate your help. In the past we had a bad relationship, but now we’re good friends.
K: Yeah, I should find something meaningful to do, and make my life happy like yours.
T: I think that I should open my mind, then life will be happier than before.
Scene Ⅶ
(In the girls’ dorm)
A: Oh, my…Are you OK?
M: I feel just a little painful.
A: Can you forgive me that I misunderstood you?
M: I've already forgiven you. Anyway, we’re best friends.
A: Thanks, I’ll treat you to dinner…
M: Really? Where will we go?
A: Hung-Lin, of course.
M: Oh, no!
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