八宝爱上粥
1.He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿? 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 2.Prize Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm. "It's a prize, mother," he explained. "A prize? What for, dear?" "For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has, and I said three." "But an ostrich has only two legs." "I know it now. But all the pupils said four, so I was the closest." 奖品 小阿尔伯特腋下夹着一本新书从学校回家来了。“这是奖品，妈妈。”他解释道。 “奖品?因为什么得的。亲爱的?” “因为自然课得的。老师问我鸵鸟有几条腿，我说有三条。” “但是鸵鸟是两条腿啊。” “我现在知道了。但其他学生都说有四条。所以还是我最接近正确答案。” 3.A portrait of God A little boy was drawing a sketch with pencil and paper. When his mother asked what he was doing, he answered immediately and with considerable pride: "I am drawing a portrait of God." Being surprised and afraid, his mother said: "You cannot do that. No one has ever seen God. No one knows how God looks." But the little boy replied complacently: "Well, when I get through, they will know." 上帝的画像 一个小男孩拿着铅笔和纸在画一幅素描。 他的妈妈问他在干什么时，他马上很自豪地回答说：“我在画一幅上帝的肖像。” 他的妈妈既惊讶又害怕，说：“你不能这样做的，没有人见过上帝，谁也不知道上帝是什么样子。” 可是小男孩得意的回答：“等我画完了，他们就会知道啦。” 4.The remaining sheep The teacher said: "If the shepherd1 put twenty sheep out to feed on the grass in a field, five of them jumped a fence, how many sheep would be left?" "None," called out little Mac. The teacher said: "I am surprised that you can't count correctly. I know that you are good at arithmetic, but you have made such a mistake now." Little Mac said: "You know arithmetic, teacher, but you don't know sheep. I know that if one sheep jumped, the rest will follow it to do the same." 剩下的羊 老师说：“如果牧羊人把20只羊放到牧场上去吃草，有5只羊跳出了围栏，还会剩下多少只?” 小麦克大声回答说：“一只都没有。”老师说：“我很惊讶，你竟然不会算数。我知道你的算术很好的，现在竟会出错。” 小麦克说：“老师，你懂算术，但你不了解羊。英语小故事我知道，若是有一只羊跳了出去，其余的就会跟着她跳出去。” 5.Be Careful What You Wish For A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 整理：zhl201612
tingting2171
这个是我最近见到过最好笑的： g.w.bush: doctor, what is wrong with my brain? doctor: your brain is perfectly ok. w.bush: how come? doctor: you are the same as everybody else, having right brain and life brain. w.bush: and? doctor: but yours is even far better than all the others. w.bush: oh? doctor: yes, sir, everybody’s brain is not seperated so perfect. but yours is an exception. w.bush: tell me how could it be an exception, not because I am the head of USA. I hope. doctor: sir, your brain is really seperated completely, there is nothing right in your left brain, and there is nothing left in your right brain.翻译：gwbush ：医生，有什么不对我的大脑？ 医生：你的大脑是完全确定。 w.bush ：如何来？ 医生：你是一样的所有人一样，有右脑和生命大脑。 w.bush ：和？ 医生问：但是你们的是，甚至远远优于所有其他国家。 w.bush ：哦？ 医生：是的，主席先生，每个人的大脑是不能分开的如此完美。但你是个例外。 w.bush ：告诉我，怎么会是一个例外，而不是因为我是主管美国。我希望。 医生：主席先生，你的大脑是真的完全分离，没有什么权利，在你的左脑，并没有什么留在你的右脑。
专属兔兔的
英语笑话小对话
Where is the egg?
Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?
Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.
Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?
Student:In the cake,Sir.
鸡蛋在哪里?
老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗?
学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。
老师：“鸡蛋”在哪?
学生：在蛋糕里，先生
Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.
Man:He is really somebody.What does do?
Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery
他真是一个大人物
小孩：我叔叔下面有1000个人。
男人：他真是一个大人物。他是干什么的?
小孩：墓地守墓人。
Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.
史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇.
服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的.
A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate.
Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have
a crush on someone else in the class, when they’re eight
or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-old
kid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it
expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son,
it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it
cost?” And the father said, “I don’t know, son. I’m still paying.”
有个小孩爱上了另一个小孩，对方是学校的.同学。八岁或十岁左右的孩子有时会迷恋班上某个人，然后就以为自己恋爱了。因此这个八岁的小孩回家问他爸爸：「爸爸，结婚很花钱吗?」爸爸说：「是啊，儿子，非常花钱。」儿子又问：「要花多少钱呢?」爸爸说：「我不知道，儿子，我到现在还一直在付钱啊!」
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