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幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇）
在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇），希望大家喜欢！
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."
一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back.Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up.Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody.What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America."
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs.Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
teacher:here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.now who can tell us which is which?
student:i cannot point out but i know the answer.
teacher:please tell us.
student:the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
孤山幽灵
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times." 在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。
麻酥酥Jessica
幽默是缓和尴尬局面的智慧和机智.下面是我收集的英语作文，供大家参考!
有关幽默感的英语作文1
A sense of humor is universally considered the most valuable asset in our personality. It is born within every person's heart but it has to be cultivated.A person without a sense of humor is just like a spring without flowers or a dish without seasoning. In a sense your personality lies in your sense of humor.
Humor can enhance physical as well as mental wellbeing. It helps us bare our burdens reduce tension helps us overcome our frustrations relax our muscles and dissolve countless trifles and irritations offered by daytoday life.
With the cracking of a joke all of our worries and sadness disappear like mist and we are full of vigor once again. Besides humor helps us live in harmony with others. With it you can always stay on good terms with others.
One way to cultivate a sense of humor is to have a wide range of knowledge about many topics so that the slightest differences in meaning of a joke can be fully understood; otherwise we would be simply at a loss in such a situation. Another crucial point in developing a sense of humor is to have a rich imagination. Nothing can be worse than the lack of imagination to kill an otherwise funny joke.
A sense of humor is one of the ways in which we relax and recreate ourselves. The things we find humorous may vary but to have a sense of humor is very important and should be cultivated to get the most out of life.
译文：
幽默感被公认为是人的性格中最有价值的私有财产.它是与生俱来的但也需要后天的培养.一个人如果没有幽默感就像春天没有花朵一盘菜没有调料.从某种意义来说你的个性来自于你的幽默感.
幽默能够提高我们的身心素质.它能够帮助我们减轻压力、缓解紧张、笑对挫折、放松身体、化解日常生活中的琐事和愤怒它能化干戈为玉帛.随着一声玩笑所有的苦恼、悲伤和疲劳都会烟消云散让我们再次充满了生机和活力.此外幽默还有助于我们与他人和睦相处.有了它你就会时常与他人保持良好关系.
培养幽默感的一个途径是众多的话题都要有广博的知识往往幽默是在细微之处见精神只有拥有广博的知识才能懂得幽默;否则我们在面对别人的幽默时就会不知所措.另外培养幽默感时同样关键的一点是要有丰富的想象力.缺乏想象力则会置幽默于死地.
幽默感是我们放松和娱乐的途径之一. 幽默可能因事而异但至关重要的是要有幽默感而且应该积极培养之以期生活更加丰富多彩.
英语作文带感觉的作文2
What is humor? It is not the performances of a clown who attempts to entertain others nor is it simply making fun of others. Humor is the wisdom and resourcefulness that can alleviate an awkward situation. Life inevitably brings disappointments setbacks and failures. If our endurance in the midst of frustrations is not sound anxiety and panic can overtake us. If one has a sense of humor however one can mentally adapt to the changing conditions in a wise and healthy manner.
Humor can reduce distress and unhappiness by creating a pleasant and friendly atmosphere. While stiff expressions make others uncomfortable smiles and wit can soften anger relieve depression and comfort a broken heart. Humor can foster better communication and understanding and therefore not only brings happiness to oneself but also and perhaps more importantly gratifies others. A sense of humor can certainly increase one's popularity.
Humor can clearly be of much help to our work study and life as it is beneficial to our physical and mental health. Not everyone one has an innate sense of humor however. A sense of humor is usually acquired in relation to others. In order to develop a sense of humor one must have an open mind and the ability to deal with unpleasant events and people. Humor also requires a broad spectrum of knowledge and optimistic thinking.
译文：
什么是幽默?它不是小丑企图取悦别人的表演也不仅仅是拿别人来寻开心.幽默是缓和尴尬局面的智慧和机智.生活中避免不了失望、挫折和失败如果我们承受挫折的忍耐力不够焦虑和恐慌就会主导我们的身心.但如果一个人有幽默感他就能用一种明智而健康的方式在心理上适应变化的环境.
幽默通过创造一种愉快而友好的气氛来减轻不幸和苦恼.僵硬的表达让别人不舒服微笑和机智却能熄灭怒火、减轻沮丧、抚慰绝望.幽默能促进更好的沟通和理解因而不仅把快乐带给自身而且更重要的还能让别人感到高兴.幽默感确实能提高一个人受欢迎的程度.
因为幽默有益于我们的身心健康所以对我们的生活、工作、学习无疑都大有帮助.但没有人是生来就有幽默感的.幽默感通常是在人际交往中形成的.为了培养幽默感一个人必须有开放的心胸和接受不愉快的事物的能力.幽默还需要有宽广的知识面和乐观的心态.
有关幽默感的英语作文100词
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