常陆院尼美
英语作为一门语言和思维统一的学科,其内在本质是语言与思维的辨证统一。英语故事教学不仅能有效地学习英语知识,亦能有效地培养学生的思维能力。我整理了有关3分钟幽默英语小故事，欢迎阅读!
狗也知道这个谚语吗
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。”
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”
智慧乐观的父亲
I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.
像大多数的青少年一样，我刚学会开车时，总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时，我经过请求，爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸，直到开到了一个急转弯，由于转盘转动得太大，车直奔着加油站的广告牌冲去。我停下了车，等着挨训。
My father，always considerate of his children's feelings，turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?"
我的父亲总是考虑到孩子的情绪，转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿，有人想上厕所吗?”
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend.“
你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，
"She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.“
她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
白色棉袜
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
smilejune521
Bad Day——倒霉的一天There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stayed like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him, took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down. The poor man started crying. The truck driver said, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I was late getting to my office. My boss was outrageous, and fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and when I left it, I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drove away. When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison." 一个男人坐在酒吧里，看着自己的酒发呆。他这个样子已经有半个小时了。这时，一个好惹事的卡车司机走到他旁边，从他手里一把抢过酒杯，把酒喝了个精光。 可怜的男人大哭起来。卡车司机说，“拜托，哥们，我只是在和你开个玩笑。这样吧，我再给你买一杯，我实在受不了看着一个大男人哭。” “不，不是那样的。今天是我这辈子最倒霉的日子。首先，我上班迟到了，我的老板是个蛮横的家伙，他把我炒了。当我离开办公楼去取车时，发现我的车被偷了,警察却说他们对此无能为力。于是我只好打车回家，下了车，我发现钱包和信用卡都落在了车上，但那个出租车司机已经把车开走了。我回到家，发现我老婆和园丁正在床上鬼混。我离开家，来到这个酒吧。而现在，正当我考虑要结束我的生命，你出现了，还喝了我的毒酒。”
青烟缭绕
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when shespotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, andthe cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The catwas so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?" 一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
优质英语培训问答知识库
