小白胖了
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词,而这个单词的重复不断出现,会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背,而是在潜移默化中,让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事,供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground
An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.
Why not?
If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
别捡地上的钱
一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走,这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡,教授制止了他,告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”
“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话,早就有人捡走了。”
“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”
英语幽默小故事2
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知识越少挣钱越多
定理:工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明:
假设一:知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二:时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道:功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量,时间=金钱,我们有:知识= 。求解金钱表达式,我们得到:金钱= 。
因此,当知识趋于零时,无论你做了多少功,金钱趋于无穷大。
结论:知识越少,你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事3
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."
他们本该在晚上打球
神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢,这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨,前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手,因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说:“哦,不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活,而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说:“我一生的信条是帮助别人,可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人,我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说:“哦,别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”
英语幽默小故事4
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354,“said the controller,"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally,in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354,Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.
一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班,”指挥塔在呼叫,“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后,竟没得到任何回音。最后,指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了,他大声地锐:"354航班,西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效,只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”
英语幽默小故事5
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题
一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务,他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来,司机对这位经济学家说:“我听了这么多次你的讲座,我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣,于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后,听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题,他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会,回答道:“这个问题太简单了,连我的司机都能回答。”
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泡椒苹果
一 英语趣味小故事
1. The Perfect Son. A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he *** oke? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he ever e home late? A: No, he doesn't. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. 完美儿子 A:我有一个很完美的儿子. B:他抽烟吗? A:不抽. B:他喝威士忌酒吗? A:不喝. B:他会不会很晚回家? A:不会. B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了? A:下个星期三就满6个月了. 2. I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。” 3. Sorry “I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元。” “是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了。” 4. Teacher:We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now,can anyone give me a good example? John:Well ,in the summer the days are long,and in the winter the days are short. 老师:我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在,谁给我举个例子? 约翰:嗯,在夏天天都长,在冬天天都短。 5. Second language A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?" 一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。 母老鼠向着猫叫道:“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说:“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。
二 有趣的英语小故事
两个人念对话,剩下一个人念旁白 Big Head “All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head” “Don't listen to them.”his mother forted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes” “Where's the shopping bag?” “I haven't got one,use your hat.” 大脑袋 “所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑,”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说:“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。” “别听他们的,”他妈妈安慰说:“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了,别哭了,去商店买10磅土豆来。” “购物袋在哪?” “我没有购物袋,就用你的帽子吧。” Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿? 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!” “是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?” 哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。
三 英语幽默小故事50字左右(带翻译)
Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?
为什么大象不玩电脑?
A: He’s afraid of the mouse!
他害怕老鼠!
鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。
mouse [maʊs]n. 鼠标;老鼠;胆小羞怯的人
2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."
"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.
一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。
“医生,我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”
“哦,不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。
3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.
He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.
他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."
医生说:"我怕他已经死了."
听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."
妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.
He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God says: "A penny".
Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"
And God says: "a second",
Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"
And God says "In a second". 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.
他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"
上帝回答:"一便士."
男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"
上帝说:"一秒钟."
最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"
上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
四 英语哲理小故事
让孩子阅读一些简单的幼儿英语故事,确实是一个很不错的补充学习,也能够极大的提高孩子的学习兴趣,让幼儿时期的孩子能够有一个英语方面很好的启蒙。下面给大家分享一则幼儿英语故事简单阅读的小故事,家长们可以读给孩子们听一下。
分享阿卡索的免费试听课,你可以试听试听:
这时兔子知道狐狸并没有死,他就以最快的速度跑开啦。
幼儿英语故事简单分享到这里。当然有趣的故事还有很多,家长们可以去阿卡索外教网了解更多的故事。
五 英语趣味故事
Story 1: Trick of Stealing Watermelons Ah Q still had the habit of stealing. In village Wee, the watermelons grown by the Zhang's were big and sweet which was known far and near. One night, Ah Q was very greedy to have some watermelon, so he invited Wang Hu to steal some. They crawled toward the watermelon field in the darkness. In the flickering candle light, they dimmly saw a watermelon keeper lying on a bamboo bed. They both were not so bold to go ahead, thus Ah Q grasped a *** all stone and threw it to the middle of the field. No response from the keeper, maybe he was in sleep. The o men crawled nearer. Meanwhile Ah Q touched something sticky, he put his hand to his nose, it *** elt terrible. "Fuck it!", cursed Ah Q in mind. Just now Ah Q heard a light sound, it sounded like the bellows. "It is snore," Ah Q thought, a great joy came into mind. Ah Q dragged Wang Hu to the bamboo bed in stealth. It was really snore. Ah Q whispered a while to Wang Hu's ear. The o men moved *** oothly and silently the bamboo bed together with the keeper to the brink of a pond nearby, especially with the shoe side of the bed facing the pond. After that they returned to the field, picked the biggest melons and filled o bags as if they were picking their own. Then they carried the bags away. About 200 or 300 meters away, Ah Q shouted to the field, "Someone stealing watermelons!" No sooner had the voice fallen than came a Pootone—the sound of something dropping into the water. Ah Q and Wang Hu giggled, going away without turning their heads. 故事之一:偷瓜妙计 阿Q依旧偷性不改。未庄张家的西瓜又大又甜,远近闻名。有天晚上,阿Q嘴馋,便约王胡一起摸黑爬到张家的西瓜地旁,摇曳的烛光中,隐约可见竹床躺着一位看瓜的伙计。二位不敢贸然行事,于是,阿Q先摸了一小块石子向瓜田中央扔去,看瓜的伙计没有反应,或许他睡着了。二人又向前爬了爬。阿Q的手突然摸着了一堆粘乎乎的东西,凑近鼻子一闻,酸臭酸臭,“妈妈的!”阿Q禁不住在心里骂道。这时隐约听见轻轻的象是拉风箱的声音。“对了,这是鼾声”,阿Q心想,不由一阵欣喜,拉着王胡朝竹床爬过去想探个究竟。的的确确是鼾声,阿Q对着王胡耳语一番。二人蹑手蹑脚地来到竹床边,轻轻地连人带竹床一起抬到离瓜地不远的水塘边,将竹床紧临水塘放好,并使放鞋的一边正对水塘。二人返回瓜地,放心大胆地如同在自家地里摘瓜一般,拣最大的摘了两大袋子,扛着袋子走了。走了约二三百米,阿Q回过头来大喊一声:“有人偷瓜罗!”随后听见远处扑通一声,阿Q和王胡呵呵直笑,便头也不回地去了。 But the teacher cried The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?" "Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!" 可是老师哭了 六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点,可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭,就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。 约翰放学了,他奶奶在门口接他并问道:“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?” “哭?”约翰问,“不,我没哭,可老师哭了。”
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