小予乖乖
A Special LunchRogers and Simon were Americans.They once traveled in Spain.One day they stopped at a little restaurant for lunch.They did not speak Spanish,and the waiter did not understand American English,either.They wanted the waiter to understand that they asked for milk and bread.At first Roggers read the word "milk"many times.Then Simon spelled it on the table.But teh waiter could not understand them at all.At last,Roggers took out a piece of paper and began to draw a cow.The waiter looked at it and ran out of the restaurant."How clever you are!"Simon said to Roggers,"He understood us at last!"After some tinme,the waiter came back,he brought no milk with him,but instead two tickets for a bull-fight.译文：一顿特别的午餐罗杰斯和西蒙是美国人，一次他们来到巴西旅游。一天去一家小饭店吃饭，他们不懂西班牙语，那个服务员也不懂英语。他们想让服务员明白他们想要牛奶和面包。起初，罗杰斯把“牛奶”这个单词念了好多遍，然后西蒙又把这个词写在桌子上。但是服务员一点也不懂。最后，罗杰斯拿出一张纸，在上面画了一头奶牛。看过那画，服务员跑出了饭店。“你真聪明啊！”西蒙对罗杰斯说，“他终于明白了！”过了一会儿，那服务员回来了，不过没有带来牛奶，而是两张观看斗牛的票。以上，完毕
我是新悦
My mother is always strict with me, especially after I entered the senior middle school.After I became a senior student, mum often pressed me to study. After school, as soon as I got home, mum hurried me up to do my homework. Even on weekends, mum wouldn’t give me free time. She asked me to take many tutorial classes. I had little time to play. Why couldn’t I play? Although I felt very unhappy, I was obedient to mum. After a period of hard work, I made great progress in my study. In the mid-term examination, I got the first place in my class. when being told the news, Mum said she was proud of me. Now I am full of confidence in my future. I have understood my mum. She has done all the things for the sake of me. I will work even harder as repayment.think that Jesus was and is the most misunderstood person. Being the most misunderstood and yet not demanding to be understood. He provides opportunity for others to understand Him, but He never forces it. It is a choice for someone to understand Him. He provides avenues of understanding through the Scriptures, through the church and others, but He doesn't force it. What a great reminder of humility that Jesus does not demand that He be understood, but that He provides opportunity then let's go. So much to learn from the most misunderstood person in the world.
多好的青年被
意大利人在美国餐馆One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast. I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast... she brings me only one piece. I tell her "I wanna two pieces"（发音不标准，侍者听成了to piss）She say "Go to the toilet". I say "you don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate". She say to me: "you better not piss on the plate, you son of a bitch". I do not even know this lady and she call me a son of a bitch!!Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waiter brings me a Spoon and a knife but no fork. I tell her "I wanna a fork" （侍者听成fuck）and she tell me: "everyone wanna fuck". I tell her "you don't understand me...I wannafork on the table". She say: "you better not fuck on the table You son of a bitch.",So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet"（侍者听成了shit）. He tell me: “Go to the toilet.” I say "you don't understand, wanna a sheet on my bed". He say: "you better not shit on the bed, you son of a bitch".I go to the Check out and the man at the desk said "peace on you". And I say: "Piss on you too, you son of a bitch". I gonna back to Italy.Have fun!
高小果3
误解英语笑话六则文/隔山唱歌我不懂英语，所说的英语笑话也都是听别人所说凭记忆写出来，其中发音该怎样也就按照所听到的来选择与其音相同和相近的汉语读音。当然，会英语的人一看自然明白，不会的也就按照汉语发音笑笑乐乐，轻松一下： 一、好大的油肚 英语你好读音为“好嘟优嘟”。一胖子每天早晨在公园渡步背英语单词。一天，正练习英语单词的他看到迎面来了一个认识的人，于是迎上去用英语说：“好嘟优嘟！”对方伸手拍了拍他的肚皮说：“是啊，好大的油肚，你的油肚也不小！” 二、你才骚勒 候车室里，一女孩拿着英语书边走边念，突然踩在一中年妇女的脚上，赶忙用英语说对不起：“稍锐！”对方站起来说道：“怎么这样没礼貌，踩到人不说对不起，还骂人骚勒，你才骚勒！” 三、ABCD 某培训班自习课上，男学员问女学员：“哈日本特（丈夫）怎么拼写？”女学员瞪他一眼，挥挥手说：“勾B，勾B（地方脏话：滚开，滚开！）”男学员一脸茫然，边走回座位边自言语：“ABCD，不对，没有这样的拼法。”前后左右轰然大笑！ 四、骂人是牲口 一职工找出纳报账，出纳坚持让他找领导签字后才给报销，僵持一会后，来报账的职工拿出香烟说：“抽支烟？”出纳头也不抬说：“散克油（谢谢）！”职工说：“不给报就算了嘛，发烟给你抽你还骂人是‘牲口！’” 五、哥哥要摸你 男同事早晨上班，抬手向女同事打招呼说早上好：“估得抹宁！”，女同事猛然后退一步，指着男同事大声说：“大危险分子，你给我死远点！”其他同事听到后问是怎么回事，女同事说：“他把手伸向我说‘估的（方言：强行的意思）摸你’”。隔壁办公室一老同志没听太清，便又对别人说：“想不到XX看起来挺斯文的一个人，他竟然对女同事说哥哥要摸你！” 六、别跟我说英语 一博友留言：“隔山唱歌给DANG听。”我到她博客中留言：“别跟我说英语，说了也白说，我不懂！”回头再看留言中的字母，连起来一读原来是“党”的拼音。博友又给我回复：“哈哈哈哈哈！”
优质英语培训问答知识库
