四十一度灰
看了那么多中文段子，来看一点英文段子解解腻吧!下面是我为大家整理的经典幽默英语段子精选，希望大家能够喜欢。
经典幽默英语段子精选1：
1、Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.任何值得做的，就把它做好。
2、Happiness is a way station between too much and too little.幸福是太多和太少之间的一站。
3、In love folly is always sweet.恋爱中，干傻事总是让人感到十分美妙。
4、The hard part isn’t making the decision. It’s living with it.做出决定并不困难，困难的是接受决定。
5、Your happy passer-by all knows, my distressed there is no place hides.你的幸福路人皆知，我的狼狈无处遁形。
6、You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind.你也许已走出我的视线，但从未走出我的思念。
7、Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you love someone.爱不是什么可能、大概、也许，一旦爱上了，自己是十分清楚的。
8、In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.到头来，你活了多少岁不算什么，重要的是，你是如何度过这些岁月的。
9、When the whole world is about to rain, let’s make it clear in our heart together.当全世界约好一起下雨，让我们约好一起在心里放晴。
10、It’s better to be alone than to be with someone you’re not happy to be with.宁愿一个人呆着，也不要跟不合拍的人呆一块。
经典幽默英语段子精选2：
1、Life is a journey, not the destination, but the scenery along the should be and the mood at the view.人生就是一场旅行，不在乎目的地，在乎的应该是沿途的风景以及看风景的心情。
2、Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.时间在流逝，生命中人来人往。不要错失机会，告诉他们在你生命中的意义。
3、I lied when I said I didn’t like you. I lied when I said I didn’t care. I lie every time I try to tell myself I will never fall for you.我说不爱你，那是假话;我说不在乎，那是假话;我告诉自己对你再不会有感觉了，那也是假话。
4、One needs 3 things to be truly happy living in the world: some thing to do, some one to love, some thing to hope for.要得到真正的快乐，我们只需拥有三样东西：有想做的事，有值得爱的人，有美丽的梦。
5、No matter how bad your heart has been broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. The sun comes right back up the next day.不管你有多痛苦，这个世界都不会为你停止转动。太阳依旧照样升起。
6、Accept what was and what is, and you’ll have more positive energy to pursue what will be.接受过去和现在的模样，才会有能量去追寻自己的未来。
7、Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.除非你能和真实的自己和平相处，否则你永远不会对已拥有的东西感到满足。
8、If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it. Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.要想射中靶，必须瞄准比靶略为高些，因为脱弦之箭都受到地心引力的影响。
9、If you wish to succeed, you should use persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry.如果你希望成功，当以恒心为良友、以经验为参谋、以谨慎为兄弟、以希望为哨兵。
10、I’ll think of you every step of the way.我会想你，在漫漫长路的每一步。
经典幽默英语段子精选3：
1、all things are difficult before they are easy. 凡事先难后易。
2、within you i lose myself, without you i find myself wanting to be lost again.有了你，我迷失了自我。失去你，我多么希望自己再度迷失。
3、first impression of you is most lasting.对你最初的印象，久久难以忘怀。
4、the more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget.the more you forget, the less you know. so why bother to learn.学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多, 忘记的越多,知道的越少, 为什么学来着!
5、the soul cannot live without love. 灵魂不能没有爱而存在。
6、you don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.你不会因为美丽去爱一个女人，但她却会因为你的爱而变得美丽。
7、atrue friend is some one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.一个真正的朋友是向你伸出手，触动你心灵的人。
8、 to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.对于世界而言，你是一个人;但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
9、Love understands love; it needs no talk.相爱的心息息相通，无需用言语倾诉。
10、may your love soar on the wings of a dove in flight. 愿你的爱乘着飞翔的白鸽，展翅高飞。
梧桐无羽
双语幽默英语笑话汇集
1、话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿!」
B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特!」
轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」
Note by Jodie: 此处用西班牙口音说Sorry肥更有趣
2、昨天来了个外国人，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，就面带微笑的："Hello?"
外国人："Hi."
前台小姐："You have what thing?"(你有什么事?)
外国人："Can you speak English?"(你会讲英语吗)
前台小姐："If I not speak English， I am speaking what?"(如果我不会说，那我现在说的什么)
外国人："Can anybody else speak English? "(还有谁能讲英语吗)
前台小姐："You yourself look. all people are playing，no people have time， you can wait， you wait， you not wait， you go."(你自己看看，所有人都在玩呢，都没空，你愿意等就等，不愿意就走你)
外国人：I want to ask about online shopping.(我想咨询下关于网上购物的事情)
前台小姐:Online shopping?is Use Internet shopping，You de understand?(网上购物?就是用上网购物，你的明白?)
外国人：。。。。。
前台小姐：you can baidu“top leader”!!你可以去百度“尚品领袖”
外国人：。。。。"Good heavens. anybody here can speak English?"(我的上帝，这儿有谁会说英语吗?) I want to speak to your head."(我想和你的领导谈谈)
前台小姐："Head not zai.You tomorrow come."(头儿不在，你明天再来吧)
3、Bad news and good news 好消息和坏消息
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.
一名艺术家问画廊老板，最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。
"I've got good news and bad news," owner replied.
“这有好消息和坏消息，”老板回答。
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.
“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品，他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。
When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.
我告诉他你的画会升值，他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。”
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed," What's the bad news?"
“真是太好了”，艺术家是喜形于色，“那坏消息是什么?”
With concern, the gallery owner replied,"The guy was your doctor."
带着关心的口吻，画廊老板回答，“买画的人是你的医生”。
4、女儿的来信
Joan and her neighbor are talking about their daughters, Joan says, my daughter is at the university.
She’s very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her we have to go to the dictionary.
Her neighbor says you are lucky every time we hear from our daughter we have to go to the bank.
Joan和她的邻居在一起聊天，聊到各自的女儿;Joan说我女儿在上大学。她很聪明，你知道的。每次我们接到她的来信，我们都要查字典。
她的邻居说，你真幸运!每次我们接到我女儿的信，我们都要去银行。
5、A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.
一个年轻的妈妈头一回带着她的宝贝女儿到超市买东西，
She dressed her in pink from head to toe.
她把小宝贝从头到脚穿上粉红色的衣服。
At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.
在商场，她把小女孩放在购物车里，把买来的东西都推在孩子周围。
At the checkout line a small boy and his mother were ahead of them.
在付款台前排队时，一个小男孩和他妈妈正好排在她们前面。
The child was crying and begging for some special treat.
那个小男孩在哭，看上去在向他妈要着什么东西，年轻的妈妈想，
He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him have any, she thought.
这个小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之类的玩意儿，而他妈妈又不给，所以才闹得这么厉害。
Then she heard his mother's reply.
然而就在这个时候，她听到男孩的妈妈一边回答说，
"No!"she said, looking in her direction.
“不行，”一边往她的方向看过来，
"You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one"
“你今天不能买一个小妹妹了，那位女士把最后一个买走了!”
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6、Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
7、Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的`老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8、Teacher: Here are two bird,one is a swallow,the other is a sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I can't point out but i know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallowis beside the sparrow,and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只小鸟
老师：这里有两只小鸟，一只是燕子，另一只是麻雀，谁能告诉我们哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我不会分辨但我知道答案。
老师：那请你告诉我们。
学生：燕子旁边的是麻雀，麻雀旁边的是燕子。
9、A dog can play the piano 会弹钢琴的狗
A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"
The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink onthe house!"
So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.
Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.
The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."
一个人带着他的狗走进一家酒吧。
酒吧服务生对他说，“这里不能带狗进来，请离开吧!”
那个人对服务生说，“这可不是一般的狗，它可是会弹钢琴的!”
服务生回答说，“呃，如果它真的能弹钢琴，你们可以免费在这喝上一杯!”
那个人把狗放到了弹钢琴坐的凳子上面，狗就开始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音乐、接着弹莫扎特还有其它的… …服务生和顾客们都非常欣赏它的弹奏。
突然，一只体型更大的狗跑了进来，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。
酒吧服务生问那个人，“那是怎么回事?”
那人回答，“噢，那是它妈妈。她不想它儿子玩音乐，而是做一名医生。”
10、Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
11、Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat that kills it.
史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只死苍蝇.
服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它是被烫死的.
12、Son: Dad, give me a dime.
Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?
Son: I guess you're right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you?
儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。
父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗?
儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗?
更多相关文章：
1. 英语笑话带翻译20字
2. 英语小笑话大全 爆笑
3. 英语幽默笑话
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8. 英语幽默笑话大全
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10. 带翻译是简短英语笑话大全
优质英语培训问答知识库
