宇宙无敌的猫
若是你在 学习英语 的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小 故事 放松放松。英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.
我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.
过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.
麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”
趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”
英语幽默小故事2
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”
英语幽默小故事3
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
英语幽默小故事4
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
一个女孩去 拜访 她的金发朋友，这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”，于是女孩问道：“它们叫什么名字呀?”
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
金发朋友说，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?
女孩说：“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。”
"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
“那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!”
英语幽默小故事5
Too Much Pressure
For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m overworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the work.Now，there are 1，211，998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you’re sitting at the table reading jokes.
压力太大
多年以来我一直感到很疲惫，我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是，我现在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有2.37亿人口。其中1.04亿已经退休了。还剩下1.33亿在工作。有8，500万人还在上学，工作的就剩下4，800万。这其中还有2，900万联邦政府雇员，真正做事的就剩1，900万人，又有280万人在服兵役，就剩下1，620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1，480万人，还剩下140万人工作。但又有18.8万人生病住院，现在只剩下121.2万人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作，就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。
英语幽默小故事6
Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics
Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
Economists can supply it on demand .
You can talk about money without ever having to make any.
You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face .
Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out .
When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
学习经济学的九大理由
经济学家们会武功：“小心我们的无影手。”
经济学家们能够做到有求必应。
你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。
你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。
米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学，看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。
站在失业队伍里的时候，至少你会知道自己为什么失业。
假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。
伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报，在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。
喝醉了的时候，你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。
英语幽默小故事7
Nobel Prize in Economics
Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.
Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things. Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.
(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)
诺贝尔经济学奖
两个持完全不同观点的人都能够获得诺贝尔奖，这种情况只有在经济学领域才会发生。
或者两个持完全不同观点的人能够分享诺贝尔奖，这种情况也只有在经济学领域才会发生。具体而言，缪尔达尔和哈耶克就是如此。
(有传言称在神经科学领域也有类似情形，比如戈尔吉和卡哈尔，所以经济学家也许并非那么另类。)
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珍珍zero
一、英语寓言小故事：老鼠和公牛
第一段：
A mouse once took a bite out of a bull's tail as he lay dozing.
译文：有一次，公牛躺着打盹，一只老鼠咬了他的尾巴。
The bull jumped up in a rage and， with his head low to the ground， chased the
mouse right across the yard.
译文：公牛怒气冲冲地跳起来，低着头追老鼠，一向追过院子。
The mouse was too quick for him， however， and slipped easily into a hole in the wall.
译文：然而，老鼠跑得比他快多了，从容地钻到墙洞里去了。
第二段：
The bull charged the wall furiously again and again， but although he bruised his head
and chipped his horns， the mouse stayed safely inside his hole。
译文：公牛一次又一次地猛撞墙壁，尽管头撞肿了，角撞裂了，老鼠却安然待在洞里。
After a time the bull gave up and sank down to rest again。
译文：过了一会儿，公牛不撞了，倒下歇着。
第三段：
As soon as the bull was asleep， the little mouse crept to the mouth of the hole， pattered across the yard， bit the bull again？
译文： 公牛刚睡着，小老鼠就爬到洞口，嗒嗒地跑过院子，又咬了公牛一口？
this time on the nose？
译文：这回咬了鼻子？
and rushed back to safety。 As the bull roared helplessly the mouse squeaked："It's
not always the big people who e off best。 Sometimes the small ones win， you know。"
译文：又跑回安全的地方去。当公牛毫无办法地吼叫时，老鼠吱吱叫道："大人物并不总占上风。有时小人物也会取胜。"
二、英语寓言小故事：郭氏之墟
第一段：
On a vacation trip， Duke Huan of the state of Qi came to the ruin of the capital of Guo
Shi ， which perished long ago.
译文：齐桓公出游途中，来到已经灭亡许久的郭氏都城的废墟。
第二段：
Seeing the desolate and bleak prospects of broken tiles， collapsed walls， and clusters
of weeds， he could not help asking the local people about the reason of the ruin of Guo Shi.
译文：看到瓦砾残垣、杂草丛生的萧条景象，忍不住问当地百姓郭氏灭亡的原因。
第三段：
They replied，"Guo Shi was fond of doing good deeds， and averse to evildoing， which led to the perdition."
译文：百姓们回答说："郭氏由于喜爱善行善事。厌恶邪恶丑行而导致灭亡。"
第四段：
When the Duke could not understand the answer， people explained ，" Though he
liked doing good， he had never been able to do so; though he hated
evildoing， never could he help not participating.That caused the ruin of his capital."
译文：齐桓公不能理解这种回答，百姓们便解释说："郭氏虽然喜爱善行善事，但从来都不能做到；尽管厌恶邪恶丑行，却总是忍不住参与其中。这就是他的都城变成废墟的原因。"
三、英语寓言小故事：三个好朋友
One day， a monkey rides his bike near the river.
译文：一天，一只猴子在河边骑车。
This time he sees a lion under a tree, The lion runs at him.
译文：这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。
He is afraid and falls into the river.
译文：他十分的害怕，掉进河里。
He can’t swim, He shouts.
译文：他不会游泳，大叫起来。
The rabbit hears him, He jumps into the river, The rabbit swims to the monkey， but
he can’t help him.
译文：兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。
Luckily， an elephant es along.
译文：幸运的是，一只大象过来了。
He is very strong, He helps the rabbit and monkey.
译文：大象十分强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。
Three friends are very happy, They go to the elephant’s home.
译文：他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。
Then， three of them bee good friends.
译文：从此他们成了好朋友。
四、英语寓言小故事：
A Man and a Satyr having struck up an acquaintance， sat down together to eat.
译文：一个人与赛特偶然相识，坐在一齐吃东西。
The day being wintry and cold， the Man put his fingers to his mouse and blew opon them.
译文：正值冬季，天气很冷，那人把手放在嘴边哈气。
"What's that for， my friend?" asked the Satyr.
译文：赛特问道“我的朋友，那是干吗?”
" My hands are so cold，" said the Man， "I do it to warm them."
译文：这人说“我的手太冷了，这是为了取暖”。
In a little while some hot food was placed before them， and the Man， raising the dish to his mouse， again blew opon it.
译文：过了一会儿，热腾腾的食物端上来了，那人把碟子举到嘴边又吹了起来。
"And what's the meaning of that， now?" said the Satyr.
译文：赛特问“这又是干吗？”
"Oh，" replied the Man， "my porridge is so hot， I do it to cool it."
译文：那人说“哦，我的粥太烫了，我把他吹凉些”。
"Nay， then，" said the Satyr， "from this moment I renounce your friendship， for I
will have nothing to do with one who blows hot and cold with the same mouse."
译文：赛特说“从此刻起，我要与你绝交，因为我不想和一个反复无常的人做朋友”。
五、英语小故事：驴和蚱蜢
Ass having heard some Grasshoppers chirping， was highly enchanted; and， desiring
to possess the same charms of melody， demanded what sort of food they lived
on， to give them such beautiful voices.
译文：一只驴听到几只蚱蜢在叫，便觉得很趣味；于是也想得到同样趣味的音调，便问蚱蜢吃什么东西过活，以至于能有这样优美的声音。
They replied， "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would only live upon dew， and in
a short time died of hunger.
译文：蚱蜢说：「露水。」驴子听了，从此以后也单吃露水过活，不久便饿死了。
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