我的笑话英语作文

Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town."Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane."Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well."I’ve only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free.""Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."

Tom: My grand God, what does a millennium mean to you?God: It only means a minute.Tom: My omnipotent god, what do 10,000 golden coins mean to you?God: Just a small coin.Tom: My humane god, please give me a small coin.God: Ok, poor man, please wait a minute. 参考作文地带整理翻译：汤姆：我伟大的上帝，一千年对你来说，意味着什么？上帝：它只意味着一分钟。汤姆：我万能的上帝，一万枚金币对你来说，意味着什么？上帝：它只意味着一枚小硬币。汤姆：我仁慈的上帝，那就请给我一枚小硬币吧！上帝：好吧，可怜的人，请等一分钟吧。

The owner of the hamburger stand was rather surprised to see a man walk in with three iguanas, but when the man ordered four thamburgers with fries, the owner complied with a shrug. The man and his iguanas enjoyed their dinner and left.有个人牵了三只大蜥蜴走进一家汉堡店，老板吓了一跳。接着他点了四份汉堡和薯条，老板耸耸肩答应了他的要求，那个老兄和他的蜥蜴享受过晚餐后便离开了。The next day the man returned with two kangaroos and the same scene was repeated.第二天，那个人带了两只袋鼠，又点了相同的东西。On the third day the man entered with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the owner could't help making a remark. " You certainly seem to be an animal lover," he said.第三天，他带了两只红毛猩猩和一只黑猩猩。老板实在忍不住，便说：“您实在是个爱护动物的有心人。”"That's true," said the man, "and I'd like you to know how much we appreciate your letting us eat here. Some proprietors object."“那倒是真的，”那位仁兄回答说道。“另外我也要感谢你让我们进来吃晚餐，许多店老板都拒绝卖东西给我们。”"That's quite alright," said the shopkeeper.“没有问题啦！”店老板说。"As a token of my appreciation, I'd like to give you this lobster." And the animal lover handed over a live, wriggling crustacean.“为了向你表示谢意，我送你一只龙虾。”说着他便给老板一只活蹦乱跳的大龙虾。"Well, that's very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner."“您真好，我太太和我将以它当晚餐。”"Oh, he's already had dinner. But I'm sure he'd love to take in a movie."“喔，它已经吃过晚餐了，但我想它会喜欢看场电影。”