木姑娘Zara
初中英语幽默小故事笑话
从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来初中英语幽默小故事精选，欢迎大家阅读!
I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble.
One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house. I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards me.It growled and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was!
我当过很短时间的邮递员。然而，我害怕狗，而且也有过不少麻烦。
有一天，我设法到一座大房子去递送几封信。我开始打开门，这时，突然一只很大的狗朝我跑来。它朝我嚎叫、咆哮着，因此我把信件扔在了栅栏上。那只狗拾起那些信件，把信件带进了大房子。比起我来讲，那只狗是个更好的邮递员。
Some businessmen were talking about advertising on tv excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view。
At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement。
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked。
"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked。
"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."
"Did you get the dog back?"
"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."
一群商人正热烈地讨论在电视上做广告。他们中没有人做过，所以每个人都有自己的想法。
此时，格雷先生进来了。格雷是一个汽车经销商，他曾经做过一次广告。
“你们在讨论什么?”格雷先生问。
“广告有用不?”其中一位商人问。
“噢，有用，而且见效非常快。”格雷先生说，“我曾经发布了一条广告，要花100美金寻找一条丢失的看门狗。”
“你的狗找到了吗?”
“没，但是那个晚上我的三辆车被偷走了。”
A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry,honked his horn.
"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, "I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by.
"What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.
"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.
一位农民和他的儿子坐着马车来到一条狭窄的小巷， 他们看到一个司机正往他们这个方向开来。两个方向2英里以内已经没有空间让他们擦身而过了。司机焦急地按着喇叭。
“假如你不往后退，”农民撸着袖子说，“我并不喜欢我将要必须去做的事。”司机甚是惊讶，挂了倒挡，退后了2英里，让马车先过去了。
“刚才你说你并不喜欢做的事是什么啊?”农民的儿子问。
“退后2英里。”农民回答。
呼啦啦呼嘞嘞
下面是我整理的15则经典英语幽默 故事 ，欢迎大家阅读!
英语幽默故事1.
A: Madam, do you have something in common with your husband?
B: Oh, we have only one point in common—we got married on the same day, in the same month and in the same year.
英语幽默故事2.
After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. “ Get up, dear,” she said, “ It’s 20 to seven.”
He awoke with a start. “ In whose favor?”
英语幽默故事3.
The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”
The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”
英语幽默故事4.
On the way home from my university, I was going to drop off a friend at her home, when I realized I was lost. I asked her for directions. She said she was not sure of the route. Hoping to jog her memory, I asked, “ what route does your father take when drives you to school?” She didn’t know. I thought it might simplify things if I rephrased the question.” When you go home, which way does he go?”
“ Oh, that’s easy,” she replied. “ He goes back the same way he came.”
英语幽默故事5.
During my second year at university I was having trouble deciding on my major. In a agonizing discussion with my adviser, I decided to double major in astrophysics and theater. Getting up to leave, I said, “ Thanks for your help. But what am I going to do once I graduate?”
My adviser shrugged,“ You could be a star,” he said.
英语幽默故事6.
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate.
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said, “ You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?”
“ In the rat trap, sir,” replied the boy.
英语幽默故事7.
One professor solemnly addressed the class the day after a big assignment had been due. “ Many of you know me,” he intoned. “And many of you have met my dog, Gus. Obviously, one of you has not.”
“ I apologize to whoever slipped a term paper under my office door,” he continued. “ My dog ate your homework.”
英语幽默故事8.
Just before graduation from university, my son and several friends were discussing the role their families had played in their career plans. My son, who had been accepted by a college of optometry, had been quiet during most of the talk.
“ How about you, Dale?” one of his buddies asked. “ Was you pushy?
“ No, he replied. “ I had complete freedom of choice. I could be any kind of doctor I wanted to be.”
英语幽默故事9.
During my first year at Naval Postgraduate School, I sat chatting one day with some classmates about the program’s difficulties. A professor overheard us and tried to allay our fears. “Don’t worry too much about grades,” he explained. “ When you think you know everything, they give you a Bachelor’s degree. Then when you realize that you don’t know anything, they give you a Master’s, and when you find out that you don’t know anything, but neither does anyone else” he continued,” they give you a doctorate.”
英语幽默故事10.
Recently engaged, I asked my aunt, who has been married to Uncle Bob for 34 years, what she thought was the key to the success of their long union. She said, “ Try not to argue, and we respect each other’s privacy.”
At this point Uncle Bob interrupted. “ She works days and I work nights,” he said.
英语幽默故事11.
About two weeks before our fifth anniversary of marriage, my husband asked what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical and romantic.
On our anniversary night, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet. “ A little four-letter word made me get this for you,” he said softly.
“Oh, how sweet,” I whispered. “L-O-V-E?’
“No,’ he replied. “S-A-l-E.”
英语幽默故事12.
A: Oh, how nice your bookshelf is! But it’s a pity that it is empty without any books in it.
B: I had no bookshelf in the past. In order to buy the bookshelf, I have sold all my books. Don’t you know?
英语幽默故事13.
M: Do you love your bride?
Bridegroom: Yes, of course. I love her very much.
M: Are you willing to accompany with your husband forever?
Bride (with head shaking repeatedly): Of course not. He is a postman, how can I accompany with him all the whole day?
英语幽默故事14.
“Joe is the man for me,” said a starry-eyed young lady to her mother, “ He’s nice. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He’s hardworking. He’s strong. He’s kind…..”
“He’s married” interrupted her mother.
“ So nobody is perfect.”
英语幽默故事15.
A tobacco-company executive traveled the country looking for long-time smoker in good health. He found one man who admitted to smoking for 70 years. “ If you do a commercial for us,” the executive explained. “ We’ll pay you $10,000.”
“It’s a deal,” said the smoker. “When do I start?”
“How about 10 A.M. Tomorrow?”
“Can’t do it then, son—I never quit coughing till noon.”
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