小懒虫菲菲
近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。我精心收集了英语笑话大全带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
神奇的高尔夫球
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
一个高尔夫球手正要发球，跑上来一个无限谄媚的小个子推销员，喊到：“ 等一下。在您发球前，我请您看一样超神奇的东西。”
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
高尔夫球手颇感被打搅，说道：“什么东西啊?”
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"
“是一个很特别的高尔夫球 - 一个永远不会被弄丢的球!”
"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?
“永远不会丢的球”，高尔夫球手嘲讽地说，“如果球被打到水里呢?”
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."
“没问题。它能漂起来，还能探测到哪里是岸，然后自己就能转到岸边。”
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
“那么如果掉到树丛里呢?”
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."
“简单。它能发出嘟嘟声，这样你就能循声而至了。”
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"
“那如果天黑了怎么找它呢?”
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
“球会在黑暗中发光啊!一句话，你永远不会找不到这个球。”
The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"
高尔夫球手当即买下这个球，随口问了一句：“你从哪搞到它的?”
"I found it."
“是我捡到的啦!”
It was a woman's first time on a plane. She boarded the plane and found herself a windowseat.
一位女士头一回坐飞机。她登机后发现自己的座位仅靠窗子。
After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat. She ignored himand told him to go away.
她坐好后，一位男士走过来坚持说她坐了他的位子。这位女士根本不听，只告诉他走开。
"Okay," replied the man. "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane."
“好吧，”男士回答道。“如果你真想这样，你来开飞机吧。”
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day.
一对夫妇结婚已经25年了，正在一起庆祝他们的结婚纪念日和60岁生日。
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
正庆祝时，一位仙女从天而降说25年来他们一直相亲相爱，她将实现他们每个人一个愿望。
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand.
妻子说想环游世界。仙女握住了她的手，只听轰的一声。妻子手中出现了各种入场券和票。
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me."
接着就该丈夫许愿了。他顿了一下，然后不好意思地说：“嗯，我想要一个比我年轻30岁的妻子。”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
仙女拿起魔杖，只听轰的一声!丈夫变成90岁的老翁了。
Boy:Honey,my love of you is beyond expression.
小伙子:亲爱的,我对你的爱,简直无法用语言来表达.
Girl:Then you can use money to express it.
姑娘:那你就用金钱来表达吧!
猪头小队长1982
笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。我整理了英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
An Unwelcome Hornor
A doctor came into the hospital ward and said to Mr. Johnson, "I have some good news and some bad news for you."
Then Mr. Johnson said, "Please, give me the good news first."
So the doctor said, "The doctors here are going to name an incurable disease after you."
【中文译文】
宁可不要的荣誉
一位医生走进医院的病房，告诉强森先生：“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你。” 强森先生说：“请先告诉我好消息吧!” 医生说：“本院的医师决定用你的名字，来为一种不治之症命名。”
If I Am A Manager
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition--If I Am a Manager.All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason. “Iam waiting for my secretary.”was the boy’s answer.
【中文译文】
如果我是一个经理
一天课上，老师要同学们以如果我是一个经理为题写一篇作文。 所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。 我在等我的秘书。那孩子答道。
Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribedsome extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awakebefore he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to hisboss, “I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.”
“That's fine,” roared the boss, “but where were you Monday and Tuesday?”
【中文译文】
强效安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床特别顺利。”“好啊!” 老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?”
