cocomooner
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来，欢迎大家阅读!
地道英语幽默笑话1：
The world's cheapest man finally went to the dentist to have his teeth fixed,
一个非常吝啬的守财奴终于去牙科看牙齿。
"Well, sir," said the dentist,
“先生，”牙医说道，
"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all have to e out.”
“恐怕你拖得太久了，这些牙齿都要拔掉才行。
"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.
“那得花多少钱?，’小气鬼问医生。
"A thousand dollars. "
“一千块美金。”
Here 's a hundred ,"said the tightwad ,"Just loosen them up a bit.""
“这里是一百块，”吝啬鬼说。“只要稍微把它们松动一点就好
地道英语幽默笑话2：
A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELE"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."
一个犹太人在伦敦开了一家犹太教餐馆，在餐馆的窗户上写着:“ *** 人不许入内”的字样。过了几天，一个特征鲜明的 *** 人走进餐馆想要一个三明治。收银员马上跑到办公室问该怎么办。餐馆老板不想惹事生非，于是就说，“好吧，卖他一个三明治，但是要收他两倍钱，这样就能给他一个教训了。”
But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do e，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without plaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELE."
但是第二天，那个 *** 人又来了，这回他要了一整套午餐。老板决定收他三倍的钱，这样他就知道厉害了!那个 *** 人吃过午餐后通通快快的付了钱，还称赞食物非常好吃，甚至预定了当天晚上十个人的晚餐。老板想了想说:“没问题，就让他预定，但是等他的朋友来了就收他们十倍的钱!”等到晚上，那些 *** 人真的来了，点了好多菜，毫无怨言地付了十倍的钱，而且还大方地给了不少小费。于是第三天，老板在窗户上写了一行新字:“犹太人不许人内”。
地道英语幽默笑话3：
And You Think You've Got Problems
你认为你有问题吗?
"Boy, have I got problems!" the man said to the psychiatrist.
“乖乖，我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄对精神病医生说道。
"Go ahead and tell me about them "
“继续说，告诉我你的问题。”
"Well, to start with, I've got an estate in the country,three Mercedes and a luxury yacht. ."
“喔，是这样的，我在乡下有房地产，另外还有三辆宾士和一艘豪华游艇。”
"So, what's the problem?"
"那问题在哪里呢?"
"I only make $ 100 a week!"
“我一星期只赚一百块美金!”
以上就是我为大家带来的，希望大家喜欢!
人到中年156
下面是我整理的一些关于经典 英语笑话 7篇，欢迎大家阅读!
经典英语笑话一：咒语
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
一个男人找到一个巫婆，要求她解开一条困扰了自己40年的咒语。
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
巫婆说："或许我可以做的到，但你必须一字不落地告诉我下咒的时候说的那句咒语。"
The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
男人毫不犹豫的答道：“‘我现在宣布你们成为夫妇。’”
经典英语笑话二：世界各地的蹩脚英语
①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。
日本旅馆：如果您想调节您房间的温度，请控制您自己。
②Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。
匈牙利动物园：请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品，请喂给值班警卫。
③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。
挪威酒吧：女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。
④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。
瑞典皮货商店：为女士们制作的皮大衣，是用她们的皮制成的。
⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。
香港牙科诊所：由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。
⑥Drop your trousers here for best results。
泰国的干洗店：在这里脱掉您的裤子，等待最好的结果。
⑦Specialist in women and other diseases。
意大利妇科诊所：我们是women和其他疾病的专家。
⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。
俄国公墓：欢迎访问这个公墓，许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里，但星期四不埋。
⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions。
丹麦机场：我们将拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。
⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here。
墨西哥旅馆：旅馆经理将亲自为您撒尿。
经典英语笑话三：送出去还有的东西
What can Santa give away and still keep?
Answer: a cold.
什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着?
答案：感冒。
经典英语笑话四：圣诞老人的 爱好
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.
圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?
答案：锄地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。)
铅笔
What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?
Answer: use a pen.
若圣诞老人的驯鹿吃掉你的铅笔该怎么办?
答案：用原子笔
经典英语笑话五：1000元的脑筋急转弯
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.
Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
圣诞节 前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
答案：当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么?因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。
经典英语笑话六：Cry
"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
“汤姆，你弟弟怎么了?” 妈妈在厨房里问。“他在哭。”
“没事儿，妈妈，”汤姆答道。“我在吃我的 蛋糕 。他哭是因为我不给他吃。”
“他已经吃完自己的了么?”
“是的。”“我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。”
经典英语笑话七：可怜的男人
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一个男人坐在酒吧里，伤心至极。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”
男人：“我们吵了一架，她说一个月都不跟我说话。”
酒吧招待：“那你应该高兴才是啊!”
男人：“不，今天是这个月的最后一天。”
优质英语培训问答知识库
