英语舞台剧小品

英语四人话剧!幽默搞笑的话剧剧本《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》

演员: P: Pirate-Grandson. M: Mother.

F: Father. K: King -Grandpa.

旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. .

正剧：(P,K出场)

P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second.

K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状)

P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状)搞笑小品

Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，liuxue86.com作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼)

K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状)

P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!

K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状)

P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.(作气愤欲泣状)

K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these.

P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状)

K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状)

P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊)

K: Xu …….. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man.

P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状)

K: Oh?! You are right(作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔)

P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状)

K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)

P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状)

K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状)

P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状)

(M,F携手进场):搞笑小品剧本

P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)

M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状)

P:(作阳痿状) Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)

M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K)

K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh……. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)

M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you ?

F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear?

M: Yes, really a good suggestion.

(P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)

(P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰)

P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold?

K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷)

M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold?

P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)

M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状)

P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)

M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状)

P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状)

M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状)

P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状)

M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !

K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)

P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状)

M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状)

小品：“不差钱”

(2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目)

Got the Money Anyway(舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上场。)

(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)

Uncle Zhao Here we are. 赵本山：到了。

Yadar Here we are. 毛毛： 到了。

Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰 调情~~~

赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不，苏格兰调情(tiáo qíng)。 Yadar You got it wrong –苏格兰情调!!

毛毛： 爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调(qíng diào)。

Uncle Zhao 情调(qíng diào) All right, . We're gonna have our meal here anyway. 赵本山：啊，情调?就搁这儿吃。

Yadar But it's very expensive. 毛毛： 爷爷，这家老贵的啦。 Uncle Zhao So what? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag? 赵本山：贵?咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢?

Yadar What bag? 毛毛： 我没拿包啊。

Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it.

赵本山：装钱那包，黄包。

Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. 毛毛： 完了，让我落炕上了。

Uncle Zhao oh,what can I do? I do all this just for you ,how could you forget it! Any money left on you?

赵本山：我说，你这孩子还能办点事吗?!这给你办事，落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗?

Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.

毛毛： 兜里，多少钱哪才?才70多块钱。

Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more.

赵本山：我还有400。行，够了。

Yadar Still not enough. 毛毛： 这也不能够啊。

Uncle Zhao It’s ok. Waiter!

赵本山：哎呀，够不够就这样了。服务员!

很急呀……我试试喽 1 Someone asked,what's the most special motion of a man. You may answer It's must be Love! You may answer It's happiness. and -- I'll say Listen to my response Please enjoy the drama OUR TRUE FRIENDSHIP 短剧：我们的真挚友谊 2I am moved by the friendship of our daily life．But do you know what is like in the world of magic? 哈利伯特之魔法石 3Ok,are you lost in the magic world?It is amazing． But now come back to real world,to our Eastern world．There is eastern and there must be western．So let us show you something happened in westernworld． 话剧：big words of western 4 It was words just now．And now you will feel some sound－other words－music 歌曲：you raise me up 5 Isn’t it fashional?Yeah,You raise me up so I can stand here hosting this party． Alright,we’ll have something cultrural after a Pop song．You will love it! 古筝合奏：渔舟唱晚 6 A queite night．See,who is dreaming? 仲夏夜之梦 7 You know the name of that music? its 渔舟唱晚in Chinese．Now the night has passed,see!The sun is smiling! 歌舞剧：不落的太阳 8 The sun is so bueatiful,isn”t it?Do you have seasons in the sun? seasons in the son 9 When we say SUN,we alway think about god．But do you know?God is a girl! god is a girl 10 What a bueatiful melody!Thank you! Oh see!There is another girl and it seems she is in touble now! 白雪公主 11 Oh,snowwhite is save now．But I do want her go away．It reminds me of a song called the day you went away the day you went away 12 The day you went away．It is my sadest day．Where did you go?You went to the sea because you are the Daughter of the Sea．．．． 童话：海的女儿 13 YOu are sweet the Daughter of the Sea．Here is another sweet girl ,another sweet love story． 灰姑娘 14 I kept reading this story all day long when i was a little kid．It makes me think about my YESTERDAY yester once more 15 I miss this song．．yester once more ． Now is time to get high!The big show! 街舞 chtonic 16 Enjoyed youselves?The dancers are really great!I want to dance too．Like this girl,she is having a romantic dance．．．．．． 美女与野兽 17 It is romatic ,isin’t it?I love the pretty girl’s necklace．But there is someone worrying about the necklace．．．． 话剧 the necklace 18 Now we will have something special．The most precious thing is not a necklace,it must be the skill to handle languages．Do you want to communicate with forieners?Enjoy this!And Learn! 中英日韩语种表演（暂定为诗歌朗诵 19 The poem is great．I want to follow him,will you? 合唱 i will follow him