冰雨茗香
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词,而这个单词的重复不断出现,会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背,而是在潜移默化中,让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事,供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground
An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.
Why not?
If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
别捡地上的钱
一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走,这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡,教授制止了他,告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”
“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话,早就有人捡走了。”
“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”
英语幽默小故事2
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知识越少挣钱越多
定理:工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明:
假设一:知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二:时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道:功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量,时间=金钱,我们有:知识= 。求解金钱表达式,我们得到:金钱= 。
因此,当知识趋于零时,无论你做了多少功,金钱趋于无穷大。
结论:知识越少,你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事3
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."
他们本该在晚上打球
神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢,这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨,前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手,因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说:“哦,不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活,而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说:“我一生的信条是帮助别人,可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人,我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说:“哦,别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”
英语幽默小故事4
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354,“said the controller,"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally,in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354,Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.
一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班,”指挥塔在呼叫,“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后,竟没得到任何回音。最后,指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了,他大声地锐:"354航班,西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效,只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”
英语幽默小故事5
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题
一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务,他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来,司机对这位经济学家说:“我听了这么多次你的讲座,我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣,于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后,听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题,他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会,回答道:“这个问题太简单了,连我的司机都能回答。”
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乱世you佳人
英语 故事 是英语教材中提升学生学习兴趣、展现学习要点的重要载体,是英语教学无法绕过的槛。我整理了幽默的英语小故事 ,欢迎阅读! 幽默的英语小故事篇一 名声与艰苦劳动 During the Gulf War,my sister,Jane,bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet,to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag. 海湾战争期间,我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗,她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时,他说,他帮助挂美国国旗,无论如何都不该收钱。 Jane contacted her local newspaper,and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph. 珍妮来到当地报杜,就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时,他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章,是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。 "I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.” 他回答说:“那我可没时间,挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。” 幽默的英语小故事篇二 独自在家 My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late,my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic,sloe began to bark,softly at first,then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped. 我妻子独自在家时,总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上,我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门,她就没理,但敲门的声音总是不停,慌乱之中,她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫,随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了,她这才松了口气。 The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!" 第二天,送报的小孩来我家收钱,那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了,你老婆老冲我学狗叫,我就走了。” 幽默的英语小故事篇三 彼得的长相决定了分数 One semester when my brother, Peter,attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis,an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed,and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. 我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时,有一个学期,他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了,就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big,”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous." 那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调,教授说:“脑袋太大,肩太宽,脚也过于大了。” The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said. 第二天,那位艺术生带彼得见教授,教授看了我兄弟一眼,并说:“好,可以得A-。” 看了“幽默的英语小故事 ”的人还看了: 1. 英语幽默小故事10篇 2. 幽默英语小故事16篇 3. 英语小故事3分钟幽默大全 4. 简单幽默英语小故事精选 5. 有趣搞笑的英语故事大全 6. 英语幽默小故事带翻译大全