Lydia胖胖
聪明的乌龟A tiger is hungry, he is looking for food. He sees a frog in front of him.一只老虎很饥饿，他正在寻找食物。他看到一只青蛙在他前面。“Haha! A frog! My dinner!” so he rushes at the frog.“哈哈！一只青蛙，我有晚餐啦！”于是，他扑向青蛙。Behind the tiger, there is a tortoise. The little tortoise sees it; he bites the tiger’s tail.在老虎的后边，有一只乌龟。小乌龟看见了，他猛咬一下啊老虎的尾巴。“Ouch!” cries the tiger and he looks back. The frog hears the voice and jumps into water.“哎呦！”老虎疼得叫起来并回头看看。此时青蛙听见了老虎的声音，他迅速跳进水里。“Thank you, little tortoise.” says the frog.“谢谢你，小乌龟。”青蛙说。But the tiger is very angry. “Bother it! I’ll throw you to the sky!”大事老虎十分愤怒：“讨厌！我要把你扔到天上去。”“Thank you, I like flying in the sky,” says the tortoise.“谢谢你，我喜欢在天空飞翔。”乌龟说。The tiger stops, “I will throw you into the river.”老虎停下来：“那我就把你扔到到水里。”“Oh, no! I can’t swim; I will die if you throw me into the water.” The tiger threw the tortoise into the water quickly.“哦，不！我不会游泳，如果你把我扔井水里我会死的。”老虎很快就把乌龟仍进水了。“Thank you, Mr. Tiger. Bye-bye.” The tortoise and the frog swim away together.“谢谢你，老虎先生，再见！”乌龟和青蛙一起游走了。
洋洋怕狗子
1.《Love 》爱情
He typed 50 words,Then he deleted it.He typed a joke,Then he deleted it.He typed the latest news.Then he deleted it.Finally he typed “Hello” and send it out.“He’s such a boring person.”The girl at the other side of the phone complained.
2.《Revenge》报复
She saw scars and bruises on her body.Tears fell on the wounds.This wasn’t the 1st time he abused and hit her.She decided to end life.Took a knife and went to the bedroom.She came outside with blood all over her face,But this is the 1st time it wasn’t her blood.
3.《Wedding》婚礼
He was invited to her wedding,as an old best friend.But she’d never knownHow many times he’d practiced taking her awayEver since he got the invitationJust as he’d never noticedthe tiny handwriting on the invitation’s edge.It said “Let’s escape.”
4.《Denial》否认
He awoke to an old photo,Fade by the tears of sleepless nights.He made breakfast for two.He pulled her shoes out and left it in the entrance before he left.He went back,Having to clean up everything.That’s okay.As long as she was with him.
5.《Love and Hate》爱与恨
Let’s exchange dads.My dad says he loves me very much,But he never buys me anything I need.My dad buys me everything I need,But he says he hates me very much.So, let’s exchange indeed.
6.《Talk》谈话
"Dad, what is sex?""Hmmm….""Well what is it?""Err, you know, when a man and a woman fall in love and get married and they wanna have a baby and …….""Dad, cut the long story. I just need to fill up this form. SEX : Male of Female.""Ohhh… That … It’s male."
7.《Mother’s worry 》妈妈的担忧
"Eat garlic before your blind date!""No! The girl will dislike my breathe mixing the garlic smell.""No, the garlic price skyrocketed recently. Without garlic smell, she may suspect the BMW you are driving is borrowed."
8.《His flip side》他的另一面
She discovered a lipstick in his car.“He is seeing another woman.”She thought.He saw her discovering of the lipstick.“Little does she knows that the lipstick belongs to me.”He thought.
9.《Parent》亲人
1000 followers in Mircoblog,500 friends on Wechat,200 contacts in cell phone,Yet, just one waited outside the ICU.The one she had unfriended and blocked.
10.《Wonderful》妙不可言
I always hate to spend time with others when I can be alone.I always hate to walk along the street aimlessly.I always hate to have to keep track of someone.I always hate to share inner fellings.But if it’s you, everything seems perfectly wonderful.
余文文214
1、TWO HEARTS BEATING Nurse: H 两颗心脏在跳动 护士：手术后你感觉怎样？ 病人：十分好，只是我能感觉到我体内有两颗心脏在跳动。 护士：怪不得给你做手术的大夫刚才在到处寻找他的手表。 2、THE FIRST TIME Patient: I' s frightened, this is first peratin. Surgen: I n Mther: H Neighbr: ur vercat? But hw culd it ae such a nise? Husband: I... I happened t be inside the cat. 精力旺盛的妻子 邻居：昨天夜里我听见你家屋前有很大的声音，你们出了什么事吗？ 丈夫：没什么。我的妻子有点不高兴，把我的大衣给扔到窗外去了。 邻居：你的大衣？扔掉大衣怎么会有那么大的声音？ 丈夫：我......我恰好也在大衣里面。 8、Friend fr Dinner &qut;Hne,&qut; said the husband t his wife, &qut;I invited a friend he fr supper.&qut; &qut;What? Are u craz? The huse is a ess, I haven't been shpping, all the dishes are dirt, and I dn't feel lie cing a fanc eal!&qut; &qut;I nw all that.&qut; &qut;Then wh did u invite a friend fr supper?&qut; &qut;Because the pr fl's thining abut getting arried.&qut; 请朋友吃饭 “亲爱的.，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。” “什么？你疯了吗？我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。” “这些我全都知道。” “那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭？” “因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。” 9、GOOD ADVICE The prtl sales anager was getting read t leave his dctr's ffice after a rutine exainatin. &qut;Here,&qut; said the dctr, &qut;fllw this diet, and I want t see three-furths f u bac here fr a chec-up in three nths.&qut; 忠告 臃肿的销售经理做过常规体检后，正要离开大夫的诊室。“听着，”大夫说，“遵守这个食谱，我希望3个月后再来这儿体检时能见到四分之三的你。” 10、SHE'D RATHER BU A GIFT While n a trip, M realized that she had frgtten a present fr Dad's birthda. &qut;That's a,&qut; he said, &qut;The nl thing I want is fr u t lve, hnr and be.&qut; M pndered that idea and then replied &qut;I'd rather bu u a gift.&qut; 她宁愿买一件礼物 旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。&qut;没关系，&qut;他说，&qut;我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺。&qut;妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，&qut;我宁愿给你买一件礼物。
lunaseayoyo
1、Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?""No, but I am always thirsty!"总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”2、A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What's that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.一个有效的方法爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。3、A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.凯特的礼物凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。4、The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
静静地过
、The fox and the grapesHungry fox saw the vine hanging from a string of crystal clear grapes, slobber DC, want to eat off, but alsoCan't reach. At the moment, feel helpless to go, he said while walking his own comfort:" this has not cooked grape, sureAre sour."That is to say, some capacity is small, do not a thing, on the pretext that premature.狐狸和葡萄 饥饿的狐狸看见葡萄架上挂着一串串晶莹剔透的葡萄，口水直流，想要摘下来吃，但又 摘不到。看了一会儿，无可奈何地走了，他边走边自己安慰自己说：“这葡萄没有熟，肯定 是酸的。” 这就是说，有些人能力小，做不成事，就借口说时机未成熟。
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