南京爱华会务
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。我分享初一经典英语笑话,希望可以帮助大家! 初一经典英语笑话:There was just a dog fight A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?" "Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?" "Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..." "What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, di *** elievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?" "Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!" 初一经典英语笑话:He is a very *** art dog I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man. "That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film." The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book." 初一经典英语笑话:This dog is acting bad While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs. A passerby mented to the blind man, "What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?" To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him." 初一经典英语笑话:Cat technical support problems This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next to the operator. Well, one day we got a service call that said, "Cat caught in machine, e quick!" When I arrived I saw everyone sitting around mending their various wounds, scratches and contusions. No sight of the cat. It appears that while they were running the machine the cat was twirling his tail in his usual fashion and stuck it down into the printer at the most inopportune time and got sucked in! Apparently, the cat absolutely freaked out and clawed at everyone who came close. They finally freed the cat, and to this day, the cat goes nowhere near the machine. 初一经典英语笑话:This is one *** art dog A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws es pushing through the door. "An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins. "You dumb dog." As he reaches down to *** ack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket. The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day. The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb. "Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?" Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket. The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and *** artly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog. "Hey, what are you doing? That's a really *** art dog you've got there," ments the butcher. "He's a stupid dog--that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key.
酒窝喵喵兔
1,Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两 只鸟 老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗? 学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。 老师:请说说看。 学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 鱼网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。3. The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." 新老师 9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。 "乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问。 "妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"4. A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声? 尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。
奔跑的鱼肝油
He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人。 my little dog can't readMrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.我的狗不识字布朗夫人:哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” Advice for "Kid"A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."忠告“年轻者”这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话,千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。