娃娃哇娃娃呀
1.1 In contemporary society, the issue of whatcan TV brings to children touches off a flurry of controversy and debate.
1.2 As weall know, no invention has received more praise and abuse than TV.
1.3 Some smileon that TV can bring children not only some specific things like knowledge, butalso some specific things such as happy, positiveness.
1.4 While some frown at it, claiming that TV is a thing affects people negatively.
1.5 On the balance, my favorgoes to the latter with the reasons I will detail below.
1.6 Firstly, it do harm to our eyes.
1.7 Accordingto a recent survey, 70%children get shortsightedness per year.
1.8 Not hard toimagine that the major cause linked to TV.
1.9 A scientific research has proved thatwatching TV 2hours a day will lead to shortsightedness in 6months.
1.10 Take mybrother for example.
1.11 Tom, a 10-year-old boy, need to wear glasses this year.
1.12 Although it is hard to imagine that he spends more that 3 hours on hiscartoons, I bet many kids has the same behavior as him.
1.13 Inview of the seriousness of this problem, effective measures should be taken beforethings get worse.
1.14 I think teachers are supposed to encourage students to readingmore books, because reading books in a proper way will not do harm to our eyes.
1.15 Secondly, we cannot avoid kids watching TV series or movies that concludes violence.
1.16 Apsychologist indicates that the violent contents in the TVs are a majorityreason linked to teenager crimination.
1.17 It is not difficult for us to find someteenagers fight with others or drug in news.
1.18 For instance, I have seen aninterview linked to one student in our community took drugs for more than 3years.
1.19 In the interview, he said he wanted to take drugs because of a TV seriesabout it.
1.20 He was so sorry and regret that cried in the interview.
1.21 As you cansee, TV has such bad influences on children.
1.22 Thus, this issue has caused wide publicconcern.
1.23 In finalanalysis, we can draw the conclusion that TV affects us negatively both in mentallyand physically.
1.24 We should spare no effort to endeavor in TV problem.
1.25 Considering the common phenomenon, I strongly agreethat TV brings us some negative effects.
福星蛋蛋
改正后：My favorite band is The Cranberries， they are a great band from Ireland. I love groups that play different kinds of music. Sometimes, they play music that's loud and energetic and sometimes, they play music that is quiet and gentle.Their songs are very amazing,the unique voices and the beautiful melody deeply interested me. I think their songs make us feel happy and relaxed,makes us full of energy and full of hope about the future. 注：我用的是美式语法
五百米深蓝
第二段最后两句写成However, home cooked meals are healthy while canteen meals are not.第三段 they both very改成they are both very..第三段 is popular around改成are popular with第三段 home cooked meals is make family taste happiness改成home cooked meals are made according to one's taste第三段 home cooked meals evironment....with classmates 改成The place where home cooked meals are served is quiet with families while canteen is always noisy and full of students.第四段太啰嗦，整段改成Thirdly, both home cooked meals and cantenn meals are very cheap. However, compared to the weight of the same course served in home cooked meals and cantenn meals, home cooked meals are heavier最后一段改成 I prefer home made meals to cantenn meals.
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