幽默故事英语版

下面是我整理的10个经典英语幽默 故事 ，欢迎大家阅读!

英语幽默故事1.

When I checked on to a hotel in my last visit to the U.S.A., the receptionist said: “ Do you want a room with a shower or a bath?”

Thinking of the money, I asked, “ What’s the difference?”

“Well, “ he said, “ with a shower, you have to stand up.”

英语幽默故事2.

A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. “ I feel terrible,” she said. “ I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seam of your trousers.”

“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “”Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. “ And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.

英语幽默故事3.

The new bank teller was given a package of dollar bills with the instruction to count them and see if there were a hundred. He counted up to fifty-eight and then threw the bundle down.

“ Why did you stop?” asked the bank manager

” If it’s right this far, said the teller, “ It’s probably right all the way.”

英语幽默故事4.

Landlady: An inventor once had this room. He invented an explosive.

New Lodger: Oh, I suppose those spots on the ceiling are the explosives.

L: No, that’s the inventor.

英语幽默故事5.

Plumber: I’m sorry I’m late, but I just couldn’t get here any sooner.

M: Well, no time’s been wasted. While we were waiting for you, I taught my wife how to swim.

英语幽默故事6.

M: There are two slices of pie in the cupboard this morning and now there’s only one. Can you explain that?

S: It was so dark, I didn’t see the other slice.

英语幽默故事7.

In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, the teacher asked one of the boys, “ What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?”

“ To be deaf,” replied the boy.”

“ Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.

“ Why, sir! Don’t you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

英语幽默故事8.

A newspaper boy was selling newspapers in the street. He kept shouting at the top of his voice: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-two persons were swindled!” His curiosity aroused, a man went over and bought a copy. He searched through it and couldn’t find anything about the swindling case. Then he heard the newspaper boy shout: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-three persons were swindled!”

英语幽默故事9.

Five-year-old Tommy is fascinated by planes, and rushed outside every time he hears one to watch it until it becomes a speck in the distance. So when he finally had the chance to fly for the first time, he is pop-eyed with excitement. About ten minutes after take-off, he asks expectantly, “ When do we start to get smaller, Mummy?”

英语幽默故事10.

A man was told by his physician that he had only six months to live. “ Doc,” he said, “ is there anything I can do?”

“ Yes,” replied the doctor. “ First, give all your possessions to the poor. Next, move to a cold-water shack in the backwoods. And then marry a woman with nine young children.”

“ Will this give me more time?”

“ No-- but it’ll be the longest six months in your life!”