北条真理
10条冷笑话,就几句话,1)TalkbacktoyourRiceKrispies.Allofasudden,actoffended,throwthebowlonthefloorandkickit.Refusetocleanitup,explaining,"No,Iwanttowatchthemsuffer."跟你的米酥(一种零食)讲话,然后突然!表现出你被冒犯的样子,把装米酥的碗摔在地上、并一脚踹上去。跟你的室友说你不会打扫,并解释:“我就是要看他们被折磨的样子!”2)Everytimeyourroommatewalksinyell,"Hooray!You'reback!"asloudasyoucananddancearoundtheroomforfiveminutes.Afterwards,keeplookingatyourwatchandsaying,"Shouldn'tyoubegoingsomewhere?"每次你室友回来的时候都大声欢呼:“哇!你回来啦!!”然后围着他跳舞跳上五分钟,接着就一直看表,问他:“你是不是该出去一趟啊?”3)Makeasandwich.Don'teatit,leaveitonthefloor.Ignorethesandwich.Waituntilyourroommategetsridofit,andthensay,"Hey,wheretheheckismysandwich!?"Complainloudlythatyouarehungry.做个三明治,不要吃、把它丢在地板上。然后就无视那块三明治、直到你室友受不了把它给扔了。这时候你就可以大声喊饿,问:“我那该死的三明治哪儿去了!?”4)Whileyourroommateisout,glueyourshoestotheceiling.Whenyourroommatewalksin,sitonthefloor,holdyourhead,andmoan.趁你室友外出的时候,把你的鞋子沾在天花板上,等他回来的一瞬间坐在地板上,摸着头大叫痛。5)Tellyourroommate,"I'vegotanimportantmessageforyou."Thenpretendtofaint.Whenyourecover,sayyoucan'trememberwhatthemessagewas.Lateron,say,"Oh,yeah,Iremember!"Pretendtofaintagain.Keepthisupforseveralweeks.对你室友说:“我有个重要的消息要告诉你!”然后装晕倒。接着等你醒过来的时候就跟他说你忘记是什么消息了。等一会,又说“哦!我记起来了!”然后继续装晕倒。这样持续玩上个几星期。6)Collecthundredsofpensandpilethemononesideoftheroom.Keeponepencilontheothersideoftheroom.Laughatthepencil.买一大堆笔回来,在房间的一边排列好。然后只把其中一支放在房间的另一边,对着它大笑。7)Buysomeknives.Sharpenthemeverynight.Whileyou'redoingso,lookatyourroommateandmutter,"Soon,soon...."买一些刀回来,每天晚上磨,边磨边看着你的室友小声嘟哝:“快了、就快了……”8)Drawatinyblacklineonyournose.Makeitbiggereveryday.Lookatitandsay,"Thehair,it'sgrowing.Growing!"在你的鼻子上画一条细线,每天加粗一点,然后对着你的室友喊:“看!它在生长!在生长!”9)Moveeverythingtoonesideoftheroom.Askyourroommateifheknowshowmuchanelephantweighs,andlookatthefloorontheemptysideoftheroomwithconcern.把房间里所有东西都移到墙边,一边很认真地盯着地板看,一边问你室友:你觉得一头大象能有多重呢?10)Collectpotatoes.Paintfacesonthemandgivethemnames.Nameoneafteryourroommate.Separateyourroommate'spotatofromtheothers.Waitafewdays,andthenbakeyourroommate'spotatoandeatit.Explaintoyourroommate,"Hejustdidn'tbelong."收集一堆土豆、给它们分别画上脸、取名字。然后把那个以你室友命名的和其他土豆分开。几天后把它烤来吃了,跟你的室友解释说:“它就是跟大家合不来嘛……”文章来源转载请注明出处
送哦夏季
In china, people believe that, at the beginning, the tiger and the cat were friends, and the cat was much smarter than the tiger .The cat learned the physical skills quickly, and the tiger was always behind. Gradually, the tiger had to learn from the cat, and the cat was patient to teach the tiger. Day after day, month after month, finally, the tiger could also run, jump, roll, grasp, tear, and strike as well as the cat. 在中国,人们相信在很久以前猫和老虎是好朋友,而且猫比老虎聪明的多。猫学习动作技巧很快,老虎却总是落后。渐渐的,老虎不得不向猫学习了,猫也很有耐心的教老虎。日复一日,月复一月,老虎终于也可以像猫一样,跑,跳,打滚,扑抓,撕咬,击打。One summer afternoon, the cat was taking a nap as the tiger sitting nearby. Looking at the cat, the tiger suddenly thought, why should he keep befriending with such a small animal since he had already learnt all the skills from the cat? The evil tiger decided to kill the sleeping cat as a before dinner snack. The tiger stood up and approached the cat viciously. Just as this moment, the cat woke up. Opening up her eyes, the smart cat immediately realized what the tiger was trying to do and swiftly jumped onto a nearby tall tree and climbed to the top branch. 一个夏天的下午,猫在打盹,老虎在边上坐着。老虎看着猫,忽然想到,既然自己已经学会了猫的所有本领,为什么还要和这么小的动物一直做朋友呢?邪恶的老虎决定杀死熟睡中的猫,当作晚餐前的点心。老虎站起来,邪恶的一步步靠近猫。就在这时,猫醒来了。聪明的她睁开眼睛立刻意识到老虎要干什么,于是立刻灵活的跳到了附近的大树上,爬到树顶。The tiger thought he had already learned every skill from the cat .But he never knew that the cat had hidden the tree climbing from him. 老虎以为他已经学到了猫的所有本领,但他不知道猫还藏了一手爬树的本事。“I kept the last technique of the tree climbing from you just because I suspected you might be can ungrateful friend.” The cat loudly told the tiger who watched under the tree helplessly.“我没有让你学这最后一个爬树的技巧,因为我怀疑你可能会是个不知感恩的朋友。”猫高声告诉树下无奈的老虎。 The Rabbit and The Wolf’ One day a rabbit was walking near the hill. He heard someone crying,‘Help! Help!’It was a wolf. A big stone was on the wolfs back. He cried, "Mr. Rabbit, take this big stone from my back, or I will die." The Rabbit moved the stone from the wolfs back. Then the wolf jumped and caught the rabbit. “If you kill me, I will never help you again.” Cried the rabbit . “Ha,ha!You will not live, because I will kill you." said the wolf.‘I helped you. How can you kill me? It’s unfair. You ask Mrs. Duck. She will say that you are wrong." said the rabbit. “I will ask her,” said the wolf. So they went to ask Mrs. Duck. The duck listened to their story and said,” What stone? I must see it. Then I can know who is right. “So the wolf and the rabbit and the duck went to see the stone. "Now, put the stone back," said Mrs. Duck. So they put the stone back. Now the big stone is on the wolf’s back again.That’s all for my story. Thanks for listening.兔子和狼 一天,兔子先生正在山坡附近遛哒,他听到有人在呼救:“救命呀!救命呀!”他这边瞧瞧,那边望望,他发现了可怜的狼先生,一块大石头掉下来压在狼先生的背上,他起不来了。他喊道:“兔先生,把这块大石头从我背上搬开,要不然我会死的。”兔子好不容易把大石头从狼背上搬开,这时,狼跳起来,把兔子叼在嘴里。“如果你吃了我,”兔子叫喊着,“只要我还活着,我再也不帮你的忙了。” “你不会活了,”狼说,“因为我要吃了你了。” “好人是不会杀救过他命的恩人的,”兔子说,“这很不公平,你去问鸭子夫人,她很胖,她样样事情都通晓,她一定会说没有一个好人会干出这种事情来。” “我去问她”,于是,狼和兔子到了鸭子家。狼说:“当兔子先生在山坡附近坐下时,我抓住了他,因此,我要吃掉他。现在你来谈谈你是怎样想的吧。” “我从他的背上搬开好大的一块石头,”兔子说,“因此,我说他不应该吃掉我,因为我救了他。现在你说说你的看法吧。” “什么石头?”鸭子夫人问。“山附近一块石头,”兔子说。“我必须去看看,”鸭子说,“如果我连那块石头也没有看见,那我怎么说得出我的看法?”于是,狼、兔子和鸭子一起去看那块石头。现在你知道结果是什么了。
triangelrain
One summer afternoon, the cat was taking a nap as the tiger sitting nearby. Looking at the cat, the tiger suddenly thought, why should he keep befriending with such a small animal since he had already learnt all the skills from the cat? The evil tiger decided to kill the sleeping cat as a before dinner snack. The tiger stood up and approached the cat viciously. Just as this moment, the cat woke up. Opening up her eyes, the smart cat immediately realized what the tiger was trying to do and swiftly jumped onto a nearby tall tree and climbed to the top branch.
北京陆少
短篇英语寓言故事:守财奴The miser and his goldOnce upon a time there was a miser.He hidhis gold under a tree.Every week he used to dig it up.One night a robber stole all the gold.Whenthe miser came aga...
一只泡芙er
She kindled a third match. Again shot up the flame; and now she was sitting under a most beautiful Christmas tree ,far larger, and far more prettily decked out, than the one she had seen last Christmas eve through the glass doors of the rich merchant's house. Hundreds of wax-tapers lighted up the green branches, and tiny painted figures, such as she had seen in the shop-windows, looked down from the tree upon her. The child stretched out her hands towards them in delight, and in that moment the lights of the match warm quenched; still, however, the Christmas candles burned higher and higher, she beheld them beaming like stars in heaven; one of them fell, the lights streaming behind it like a long, fiery tail. “Now some one is dying,” said the little girl, softly, for she had been told by her old grandmother, the only person who had ever been kind to her, and who was now dead that whenever a star falls an immortal spirit returns to the God who gave it. She struck yet another match against the wall; it flamed up, and surrounded by its light, appeared before her that same dear grandmother, gentle and loving as always, but bright and happy as she had never looked during her lifetime. 她擦着了第三根火柴,又冒出了火焰。现在她觉得正坐在非常美丽的圣诞树下面,比上次圣诞节透过那富商家的玻璃门看到的那株还要大、还要美。这株树的绿枝上点燃着许许多多的蜡烛,颜色瑰丽的图画,就象橱窗里挂着的那些一样漂亮,仿佛在向她眨眼。小姑娘把两只手伸过去,火柴又熄灭了。然而圣诞树上的烛光越升越高。她看到它们变成了明亮的星星,有一颗落下来,在天上划出一道长长的火丝。 “现在又有一个什么人死了。”小姑娘说。因为她的老祖母——一个唯一待她好的人,现在已经死了,曾经告诉过她,天上落下一颗星,地上就有一个灵魂回到曾赋于他生命的上帝那里去。 她在墙上又擦了一根火柴,火光把四周照亮了。在亮光里,亲爱的和生前一样的祖母出现了。她依然是那么的慈爱和温和,然而那快活和幸福的样子却是她生前从未有过的
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