8人搞笑英语话剧

Net Friend 互联网交友Summary: Is it correct to make friends on the Internet? Will it be dangerous? Bill, Hillary's younger brother, is a rude and impolite boy. Everyone in his school doesn't like him. However, he really wants to have a girlfriend, so he asks his sister to help him. Then Hillary pretended to be Bill on net and met a nice girl, Monica. Three months later, Hillary asked Monica to go out with "Bill" (Her brother), and arranged everything for them. When they met each other at McDonald's, Monica found that Bill wasn't the one who she talked to on net. Then... Finally, Monica understands that it's very dangerous to date with strangers and trusts everything of which her net-friend told her. And we all should be very careful when we're on net. Scene I (In school cafeteria, students are having lunch)Bill: Hey, Jessie. (He pushed her shoulder very rudely) Can I join you? (Jessie didn't say a word, and Bill just sat down) Bill: Wow! Wow! Wow! You are wearing a nice dress today! Jessie: Thanks! Bill: Oh! What a beautiful hair clip. Where did you buy it? (Jessie didn't say anything..) Bill: Hey, you have a nice watch. (He held her hand strongly and Jessie got angry.) Jessie: Don't touch me! I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone! (Bill stood up and walked toward Carol. Bill sat down beside Carol without asking her) Bill: Hey, beautiful! How could you eat so little! It's not good for your health! Take this! (Bill wanted Carol to eat his food) Carol: No. Bill: Take it! (He was very rude and the plate fell down.) Carol: Hey! What are you doing! This is my new skirt! Bill: I'm sorry! Carol: Go away! You're such a rude guy! (Carol went away.) Bill: Did I do something wrong? (He talked to himself) Scene II (In Hillary's room. Hillary was surfing the net) Bill: Sis.... Bill: Hillary! Hillary: Oh! Hi! Bill! How long have you been sitting there? Are you trying to scare me? (Bill didn't say a word.) Hillary: Bill? What's wrong with you? What happened? Bill: I tried to draw some girls' attention but they just ignored me! Hillary: Hmm....Maybe the way you used was wrong. Bill: Yeah, maybe. But I don't know how to attract them. Hillary, I just want to have a girlfriend? Hillary: Girlfriend? Bill: Yeah. Hillary: Let me see what I can do. Bill: So, can you help me? Hillary: Ok! Since you really want to have a girlfriend, I'll try to help you. Bill: Great! Thank you! You are a doll! (At this moment, Hillary's net-friend is calling her.) Hillary: Oh.. My net-friend! Bill: Ok! Waiting for your good news! (Bill left Hillary's room and Hillary was thinking how she helped Bill.) Hillary: Yeah! That's it! I can pretend to be Bill and find a girlfriend on the Internet! (She opened the PC and saw a girl's name "Monica"...) Hillary: (Laughing......) Monica! (A little bit surprised) Hillary: (Talked to herself) It is the same name as the girl of Clinton's sexual scandal. Hmm. Let me send a message to her. Hillary: Hi! I'm Bill! Glad to meet you! Monica: Hello, Bill! , Glad to meet you, too. I'm a college student, and you? Hillary: Me three Monica: (Laughing...) You're a humorous person! Hillary: Thanks! I guess you're a female, aren't you? Monica: Yes, I am. Hillary: (Talked to herself) Great! She's a girl. Monica: And you? Hillary: Oh... I'm a "boy" Monica: Which school club are you in? Hillary: Computer Information Club. Monica: Oh! Really? So you must be a computer expert! Hillary: You can say that again. Monica: You know I'm interested in computers, too. So, can you teach me or tell me something about them? Hillary: Sure! It's my pleasure! ( .....Two hours later .....) Hillary: Oh! It's interesting to chat with you. Monica: Yeah! I'm very happy, too. IIiIIaiy: Will you be here tomorrow? At the same time? Monica: I think so, I hope we can meet again. Hillary: Ok, I'll be here tomorrow, Bye! Bye! Monica: Bye! Saying: From then on, Monica and Hillary continue chatting with each other after school. (At Monica's room. As soon as Monica came back home from school,she started surfing the net. Then, her mom came into her room. She knocked her door, but no oneanswered the door) Dad：Darling，someone is knocking the door.Mom: I'm coming! Mom: Oh! Monica, my darling! I've just baked some cookies. Want some? Monica: No, thanks! I have something important to do. Mom: What are you busy doing? Monica: I'm surfing the net and talking to my net-friend. Mom: Net-friends!! They are strangers. You even don't know who they are. I read from the newspapers. Lot's of things happened on net. You should be more careful and you have to watch out for your net-friends, You're so young Monica: Ok.. ok. .I know, Mom. Don't worry about me. (Mom walked out her room. and Monica saw Hillary) Monica: Hello! Bill! Hillary: Hi! Monica! How's school today? Monica: Wonderful! It's really a nice day! Hillary: Monica! I think we've known each other for a long time. And I just wonder whether you would go out with me?Monica: (Talk to herself) Go out with him? Monica: Sure, I would like to. I think you're a polite and humorous person. It may be interesting to go out with you! Hillary: That's great! How about we meeting at McDonald's on Ming-Chang Road this weekend? Monica: All right! It's a deal! But how can I recognize you? Hilillary: I'll wear a blue shirt, blue jeans, a blue caps and also carry a blue knapsack. Besides, I'll stand beside the trash can. Monica: All in blue! Wow! Ok! That will be easy for me to recognize you. Hillary: Yeah! I'll be waiting for you! Monica: Ok! See you Monica: (Talk to herself) Ha! I'm looking forward to it! Hillary: (Talk to herself) Yes, I made it. I'm going to tell Bill this good news! ScenceIII (At McDonald's, Bill was waiting for Monica. A few minutes later, Monica saw Bill and walked toward Bill) Monica: Hi... Are you Bill? Bill: Yes, I am. You're Monica? Monica: Yeah.. that's right. Bill: You look great! Monica: You're not bad, either. Hey, Let's find a table! Bill: Yeah! How about that one? I've ordered some things. (They found a table and began talking.) Monica: Bill! Bill: Monica! Bill: Oh! Lady first! Monica: Bill, have you already finished your computer report? Bill: Uh...Uh... Did I tell you that? Monica: Yes, you did. You said it was about how to kill virus. Did you find out how to do that? Bill: Kill virus? That's easy for me. I'm a genius. Just use a knife. Monica: A knife? Bill: Yeah! Knife can kill everything. Monica: What are you talking about? Alright! Alright! Forget it! And how about the novel we discussed last week? Bill: Novel? I've read so many novels, which one? Monica: "The old man and the sea", don't you forget? What happened to that old man? Bill: Yeah! That old man! He caught a big fish and then became a hero. Monica: Hmm. He has a strong will, doesn't he? He never gives up anything. And how about the fish? Bill: Did you forget? He cooked the fish and ate it! Monica: And~~it's delicious, right? Bill: You got it! It's very delicious! Monica: Nonsense! The fish was eaten by the sharks . You're not Bill, are you? Bill: Of course I'm Bill. "B~I-L-L" Monica: But you seem different from the way you are on net. Who are you for God's sake? Bill: Ok. I tell you the truth. I'm Bill, but not the one you talked to on net. That was my sister, Hillary. Monica: Are you kidding me? Bill: No, that's true. I really want to have a girlfriend, so she helped me out. She met you on net and thought you're a nice girl. So she arranged us to meet each other. Monica: That means both of you tricked me? Bill: So what? That's Hillary's idea. Monica: You. ..You..... (She is very angry) Monica: Gosh! I was tricked for such a long time! Scence IV (Monica left McDonald angrily) (At Monica's room, again.) Monica: (Crying) How foolish I was! What on earth was I doing? (Still crying) I think I need someone to talk to. (She looked around and saw the time) Monica: Ah, 8:30. It's "Paula's Time." (She turned on the TV) Paula: Welcome to "Paula's Time" I'm Paula Jones, not Dow Jones. Today we'll discuss some net problems. Nowadays Internet helps modern people live more convenient lives, get the latest information. You can say that we live in an Internet world. However, some bad guys made use of Internet to do illegal deals or trick people. So, today we will listen to some friends' problems and help them solve it. Our hot line number is 111-1234. Please dial it as soon as possible. I'm waiting for your call-in. OK. Who's the first friend? Monica: Hi, Paula, I'm Monica. Paula: Yes, Monica, what do you want to share with us? Monica: I met a girl, Hillary, on net three months ago. She pretended to be her brother, Bill, and chatted with me. But I didn't know the truth until yesterday that we arranged to meet each other. He told me that Hillary surfed the net to help him find a girlfriend. And that was me. I felt I was tricked and I was very sad. Do you think I'm wrong?Paula: It seems like Bill takes special interests in Monica just like our president. Monica, it's a serious and common social problem in modern society. Lots of people want to make friends on the Internet. But you must be careful. On the net, people use nicknames to protect themselves, or even trick others to do something bad. Everyone on the net wears a mask. Sometimes it's evil that hides under the mask. So you had better watch out. Never date with strangers by yourself. Strangers are dangerous. Monica: Thanks, Paula. You do help me a lot. I know what I should do now. (Suddenly someone is calling Monica on net) Starr: Hi! Monica! I'm Starr. May I make friends with you? Monica: Oh! No! Not again! (Lights out)

可不可以不要演

话剧《荆轲刺秦王》静静(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I凌云（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? 艳君(幕后)：It’s you, Prince Dan!（凌云高兴状) Thank you mirror! But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?岑(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.凌云：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!岑：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）凌云：Oh yeah~~~. Good idea! But who is the right candidate?岑：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.凌云：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?岑：Yes.Action II《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐（岑放音乐）鑫鑫Are you Li mochou?艳君Yes.I am.And I am the best killer in the world.No one could beat me. So far ,I have already completed a number of assassination mission perfectly...(向太子丹）so if you chose me , I promise to not let you down！鑫鑫OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Hey,guy.Are you challenging me?You know that I am a very cold person...，so you must be careful, I will not be lenient.艳君：and I will not be responsible to you……鑫鑫so do I.（ 耸耸肩表示同意）李莫愁OK!Come on!岑 one ,two ,three,action!两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。艳君倒地鑫鑫大笑艳君痛苦状：I'm dreaming? What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?鑫鑫: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）艳君：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right. I always think I'm the best killer ……I was so excellent ……鑫鑫再次大笑 艳君：Now I finally understand. The Big world, full of wonders.But, it was already too late.（不甘状）No !it 's not the true,I'm the best in the world……艳君：（向太子丹）You must be regret it……(被拖下去）上（抱拳）：How are you?鑫鑫：Fine, thank you, and you?凌云：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?鑫鑫：Sure!凌云：How are you?鑫鑫：Fine, thank you, and your wife?凌云无语凌云：Hey, man, I’m kidding!鑫鑫：Oh, I’m kidding too!鑫鑫：I am busy now!岑：Hero，we need your help.凌云：You can get a lot of money.鑫鑫：I am very busy now!岑：IC, ID, IQ card?鑫鑫：I am very very busy now!岑(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.鑫鑫（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy girl, but TCM is my only love!岑：What? What’s the TCM?鑫鑫; Hey, guy! Why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.岑：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?静（观众甲）：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .凌云：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.鑫鑫（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.岑：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?（《No matter》（艳君放音乐），荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。鑫鑫(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.凌云与岑（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!Action Ш（《大话西游》主题曲响起）（艳君放音乐）鑫鑫挽着永霞，凌云,岑在后.岑：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.鑫鑫：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends凌云：I will miss you, baby.（凌云，岑下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起（艳君放音乐），鑫鑫与永霞做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）鑫鑫（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.永霞：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world! I can not live without you!鑫鑫(流泪) ：Dear,I love you more.永霞：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you forever.Don not worry about me.鑫鑫（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... . that you will never give up... no matter what happens... promise me now, and never let go of that promis.永霞:"I promise."鑫鑫:"Never let go. “永霞:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."I believe you will come back soon.鑫鑫上船，渐渐远去永霞：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……永霞(掏出手机拨号，岑接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.岑：Okay okay!静静：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.艳君飘上：(面向观众）Hey,it's really a pity ! Is not it ?I have said they must be regret it! So I'm the best killer in the world...I have had enough cruel! Enough vicious!And the most important thing is I will not be the beauty of the temptation.静 :what!Who are you?How do you appear here?What do you want to do ?(护住自己）艳君：You only need to know that if the killer is me,you'd be dead !